Search found 82 matches

by Spectrum
Mon Aug 04, 2014 3:47 pm
Forum: Questions
Topic: If my process of awakening has not begun - what then?
Replies: 10
Views: 1170

Re: If my process of awakening has not begun - what then?

Thanks for the replies. As Eckhart often said suffering is often what leads people to spirituality ... when you do not suffer, you just enjoy your life and do not feel any need for spirituality ... I enjoy my life some of the time. I also suffer some of the time. I feel a strong need for spiritualit...
by Spectrum
Fri Aug 01, 2014 7:23 pm
Forum: Questions
Topic: If my process of awakening has not begun - what then?
Replies: 10
Views: 1170

If my process of awakening has not begun - what then?

Hi, all. I am re-reading A New Earth . I feel tremendously frustrated by it because all the spirituality does not make sense to me. I found this passage: "The initiation of the awakening process is an act of grace. You cannot make it happen nor can you prefpare yourself for it [...] If you find this...
by Spectrum
Sat Oct 26, 2013 9:55 pm
Forum: General Discussion
Topic: Insights never last
Replies: 8
Views: 885

Insights never last

Hi, all. I have a thing I am struggling with. It is often said that the solution to most of life's problems is to become more aware. For example, if I complain about not getting sex, people will tell me that the solution is to realize that I don't need sex in order to be happy. If I complain about n...
by Spectrum
Mon Sep 30, 2013 5:59 pm
Forum: General Discussion
Topic: Why is it painful to be with people?
Replies: 21
Views: 1912

Re: Why is it painful to be with people?

Hi, all. Thanks for the replies. I feel better today than I did a couple of weeks ago when I last posted. I have recovered from a long-running depression and feel more "normal" now. I still have my ups and downs, but at least life is worth living again. :) I have done many different things, so I can...
by Spectrum
Thu Sep 19, 2013 11:30 am
Forum: General Discussion
Topic: Why is it painful to be with people?
Replies: 21
Views: 1912

Re: Why is it painful to be with people?

I long for more quality time with people. But it has to be quality time . If it's not high-quality interaction with people I really like and who really like me, Spectrum, the quality time you look for is the time when you can most genuinely be yourself, your loving playful considerate true self. Yo...
by Spectrum
Wed Sep 18, 2013 6:01 pm
Forum: General Discussion
Topic: Why is it painful to be with people?
Replies: 21
Views: 1912

Re: Why is it painful to be with people?

It looks like from what you've written that your not getting the attention you need and so you don't like being with people. So it seems it's not really the people but they are not giving your ego what it wants (and maybe needs). That is a tautology, is it not? According to Tolle, all suffering is ...
by Spectrum
Wed Sep 18, 2013 12:19 pm
Forum: General Discussion
Topic: Why is it painful to be with people?
Replies: 21
Views: 1912

Re: Why is it painful to be with people?

Do you feel relaxed, at ease and peaceful when you are alone? Possibly you find interactions painful because of some tension and uneasiness within you. Sometimes it can be subtle and you may not be aware of it. No, I don't feel at ease when I am alone. I feel pain most of the time (except when some...
by Spectrum
Wed Sep 18, 2013 11:39 am
Forum: General Discussion
Topic: Why is it painful to be with people?
Replies: 21
Views: 1912

Re: Why is it painful to be with people?

I long for more quality time with people. But it has to be quality time . If it's not high-quality interaction with people I really like and who really like me, socializing is usually worse than nothing. That is why I avoid it. Instead of looking for those "high-quality" interactions, why not embra...
by Spectrum
Tue Sep 17, 2013 11:03 pm
Forum: General Discussion
Topic: Why is it painful to be with people?
Replies: 21
Views: 1912

Why is it painful to be with people?

Hi. I am very introverted. I spend the vast majority of my free time alone. I often feel lonely, but at the same time, being with people is often exhausting and painful. I wonder why this is so. I long for more quality time with people. But it has to be quality time . If it's not high-quality intera...
by Spectrum
Tue Sep 17, 2013 10:49 pm
Forum: General Discussion
Topic: How do I make peace with being single?
Replies: 99
Views: 7980

Re: How do I make peace with being single?

Fore wrote:When you hang on to things to tightly, there can be trouble, just start by easing your grip, letting go completely may take some time. :P
Come again?
by Spectrum
Sat Sep 14, 2013 2:43 pm
Forum: General Discussion
Topic: How do I make peace with being single?
Replies: 99
Views: 7980

Re: How do I make peace with being single?

I have been reading a lot on " Your Brain on Porn ". Inspired by it, I have decided to eliminate pornography, masturbation and similar things from my life. Perhaps that will help. I know that many people have found that dropping porn and masturbation was the way out of depression and social aversion...
by Spectrum
Mon Sep 09, 2013 9:13 pm
Forum: Questions
Topic: Enormous distress from not being able to get a girlfriend
Replies: 45
Views: 11168

Re: Enormous distress from not being able to get a girlfrien

Spectrum, I think that your list of physical characteristics that your ideal women should have is still an example of identification with form. Doesn't matter if you don't go for media influenced women, you also have a "type" and that screams identification with something. I like this kind of woman...
by Spectrum
Sun Sep 08, 2013 5:52 pm
Forum: General Discussion
Topic: How do I make peace with being single?
Replies: 99
Views: 7980

Re: How do I make peace with being single?

Thanks for the suggestion, though. I know you're trying to help, and I appreciate that. Writing the above made me realize something: I really hate writing these thanks. I often thank people who reply because I want to be nice to people who try to help me (partially for their own sake, but mostly in...
by Spectrum
Sun Sep 08, 2013 5:35 pm
Forum: General Discussion
Topic: How do I make peace with being single?
Replies: 99
Views: 7980

Re: How do I make peace with being single?

Hi Spectrum, maybe this video will help you: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ped3iyyquqk Thanks. His explanation is the same as what I've heard dozens of times before, except that his reasoning doesn't make sense. He is saying: "A relationship does not solve ALL of your unhappiness. Hence a relation d...
by Spectrum
Sat Sep 07, 2013 11:57 am
Forum: General Discussion
Topic: How do I make peace with being single?
Replies: 99
Views: 7980

Re: How do I make peace with being single?

The key, for me, is to be grateful for it/them, and generous within them. But how do you do that? For me, "gratitude" is virtually impossible to find. I can think or say or write the words "I am grateful for X", but it's not genuine. I'd just be trying to fool myself. It doesn't make me feel any ha...