Attention wrote:In my childhood I was religious, but as I have started to grow up, my life was not good, I developed social anxiety, and my life situation in general was depressed. I began to ask, why this happens to me even that I'm good with god more than most of other people, so I started to question my religion.
To the degree you see God as something separate from what you are you will miss the true nature of God/Source. Religions, for the most part, thrive in this separation. Most religions have buried in their teachings that God is All. Rarely do they teach overtly the true implication and significance of this. If God is All then you and I are an aspect or extension of God. God is Source. You and I then, must be Source expressed in human form.
It's good to question one's religion. It's a kindergarten of sorts, run by teachers who have a vested interest in keeping you in the classroom. Nothing is inherently wrong in all of this, it's just one way to live a life that is an exploration of the physical human experience. It all has value in the greater perspective, it's just that some experiences are less fun and more challenging than others. One of the great gifts of the experience however is that we can consider circumstances and meanings and choose a different way, one more of our own choosing.
On a more basic level relating to social anxiety, I would suggest that it would be helpful to spend less time thinking of yourself and your concerns, and spend more time and energy exploring and observing the world and people around you. Not in a judgmental right vs wrong kind of way, but in an interest in how life unfolds. The more you think of yourself in terms of what others may think, the more social anxiety will prevail in your experience. Focus on having fun and enjoying how people are and life is. There is no real right or wrong accept in our own judgment. Remember, All is God and serves a purpose toward the evolution of Consciousness and Being.