My pain body (anxiety and insomnia) is back!

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My pain body (anxiety and insomnia) is back!

Post by lovesexy » Thu Oct 12, 2017 11:42 am

Hi All

3 years ago I started this journey when looking after my little boy full time. I had some kind of breakdown or breakthrough as my Mum would say :D - most probably due to my past problems of my Mother leaving us when I was 3. His emotions would affect my emotions enormously! The still do.
It started with insomnia, then turned to what I now know as anxiety. It was hell but I came off the antidepressant Paroxetine 18months ago whilst enveloping myself in the teachings of Tolle, Mooji helped me massively. At that time I was prescribed Zopliclone for sleep which I took for a year and eventually weaned myself off of that too. For 3-4 months I was completely off meds and was meditating every day. I was well and sleeping well. Then slowly but surely I let go of the meditation and general awareness of my thoughts. Occasionally I'd have an anxiety crisis for a day or so about the usual stuff, money worries etc. And if I couldn't sleep I'd take a Zopliclone as I know from experience that insomnia takes me only one place. Then once I had let the thoughts pass I would be able to sleep without aid again. I saw this as somewhat of a triumph as my awareness had quickly dissipated the pain body.
Recently there has been a ridiculous amount of stress with work and our boy's own sleeping problems - he's just started school and our whole routine has changed. I've realised that my son is often the trigger as I probably haven't yet let go of my past fully. Anyway,boom, I'm back in the pain body again! I've been staying present, reading the books again, watching the videos, meditating. The sleep med has helped me to tackle (let go) one thing at a time but last night is the first time it didn't really work! I'm now exhausted and finding it very hard to stay present as the sleep worry adds too much weight to an already extremely challenging time.
I was just wondering if any of you guys have experienced similar problems and what you did in the short and long term to get through.
Although I was fine on antidepressants, slept well etc..I am absolutely determined to take the spiritual route as I realise understanding my issues, accepting them, surrendering to them is the only way
to be free. Added to that, my spiritual path thus far has made me a much more tolerant, empathetic person.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

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Re: My pain body (anxiety and insomnia) is back!

Post by turiya » Sat Oct 14, 2017 3:05 am

I don't have any advice.

But, since you mentioned Mooji, here's one of my favorites:

“We ourselves are not an illusory part of Reality; rather are we Reality itself illusorily conceived.” - Wei Wu Wei

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