My Thoughts have no Validity

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SamiT
Posts: 54
Joined: Thu Nov 15, 2018 9:11 pm

My Thoughts have no Validity

Post by SamiT » Sun Aug 11, 2019 7:30 pm

Im confused and feel very alone.

For the past 7 years all my thoughts have done is tell me im dying. They have dragged me round to hospitals telling me at 34 im having a heart attack or a stroke or that im going to die, none of which are true.

Now my thoughts have taken a sinister and different turn, they are now saying just go and kill yourself your life is rubbish when for the last few years its been scared of dying?

Is it just because ive been frightened by these thoughts that they keep coming back?

Louis More
Posts: 8
Joined: Wed May 09, 2018 11:09 am

Re: My Thoughts have no Validity

Post by Louis More » Sun Aug 11, 2019 8:00 pm

I could say a lot of things about thoughts, mind.. how you identify with them etc...
But if you're having suicidal thoughts the first thing you should do is asking a professional help.
You're a perfect human as you are.

Be safe.

SamiT
Posts: 54
Joined: Thu Nov 15, 2018 9:11 pm

Re: My Thoughts have no Validity

Post by SamiT » Sun Aug 11, 2019 8:08 pm

Thanks.

I’m not having them to the point where I feel compelled to do something they just feel frightening because like I said before I’ve been scared of dying.

tchest77
Posts: 32
Joined: Sun Aug 25, 2019 4:10 am

Re: My Thoughts have no Validity

Post by tchest77 » Sat Nov 16, 2019 4:38 am

Hi SamiT,

The following is not medical advice, but just my take on what's going on and I'll share how I can relate to what has happened in my life.

Not sure if I'm too late on this or if you'd ever read this, but I can relate to the "evil" thoughts. I too have had similar thoughts, and until I got more understanding of who I am, I always thought there was something wrong with me.

These thoughts can still come on, but in my opinion, I believe these thoughts are just a reflection of how I am feeling deep down. Even if I feel fine, and these thoughts come up, I at least for now, think that these thoughts are just a reflection of my inner conflict, even if I could say there is no conflict and not feel conflicted. I believe that our thoughts and feelings are a reflection/product of our innerness, this is where Eckharts teachings come in, so the thoughts are either based on ego or based on the conscious mind.

I used to think, the thoughts were just evil, like from the devil or something , but I realize that these thoughts are a part of me, but they are not me. I am beginning to understand that if we're not or are well with our being, then we will show this through our thoughts and actions. It's kind of like saying, if someone just sits around all day being lazy, eating junk food, ect, then maybe they're really not happy, it's all relative, but maybe, or the same could be that they always show up to work late. The opposite being, not over indulging and not being lazy, or being happy that ur early to work. I know that perhaps bad choices could be a part of poor habits, but if they aren't then maybe there is a mental/emotional connection going on that's deeper. And I know that there is a place for being lazy, indulging, sleeping in, ect, but if you look at patterned behavior, maybe it's a deeper reflection to really how we feel about ourselves.

Anyway, I think if we feel negative, then it's this ego, or whatever you want to call it, speaking to us. To get to the underlying reason of why it would be hurtful to us to begin with, is worth exploring but not to beat yourself over. I mean, it could be for a lot of reasons, perhaps you never developed healthy attachments to your parents, or were bullied as a child, or were excluded or didn't have friends or still don't, or tried to fit in but never really accepted, or not good at some things in life or found it easy to fail at stuff, or don't like the way you look, have poor self confidence or low self esteem, or there is something else you experienced but can't remember due to the pain just being hidden by the subconscious mind considering how painful it was, ect..... the list could go on, and much on this list happened to me.

So, we go on with life with these painful experiences. Since this pain was never really recognized or acknowledged, it appears and can be controlling, sometimes very subtle (like disliking yourself and giving yourself doubt) or sometimes in obvious forms (like thinking about death, ect). The problem is, that voice is coming from the same place, and it is the same voice, and the strength of the voice may depend on the suffering you are having at that time. The times it is subtle or at the low end of hurting, perhaps you're just tired or just doubted yourself or just had a little stress (say from traffic), but at the higher end when that voice is saying terrifying things like talking about murder and death, you must at these times really be suffering, even if you think you're not. The voice is a reflection of the suffering, depending on how low or high the suffering may be, but there is something suffering.

You may not get to the root cause of the suffering, but the more you can be open to exploring it, the more you can say, perhaps I wasn't loved enough, ect. And you don't even have to dig deep if you don't want to, but the thoughts are a reflection to how you feel. The thoughts really are just telling you that you aren't happy, so they come up at that time.

It's not easy to ignore the negative thoughts, so just notice them, accept them for what they are, they are just thoughts. The more attention you give them the more they will continue or get worse. Realize, if you shift your attention from allowing the thoughts to make you feel to just noticing they are there and perhaps even just continue the day realizing that you are just in pain some how, maybe the thoughts will just dissipate since they aren't given any emotional attention or thoughtful concern which is what they want.

You could always seek professional counseling to help get to the reason of them, with guiding good questioning, a good counselor can help you to self explore of the pain you are thinking/feeling or just why the thoughts are there. Being in constant suffering could be lessened, but if you can't lower the suffering or put the end to it, then understand that you can with the right guidance and practice of getting to understand yourself more deeply.

Wishing you the best on your journey through life, and realize you aren't alone; most people are suffering and either don't realize they are or deny that there is anything wrong.

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