Should I let go of my ego 'friend'?

A place for anything that doesn't fit into the existing forums
rp89
Posts: 7
Joined: Thu Nov 22, 2018 12:56 pm

Re: Should I let go of my ego 'friend'?

Post by rp89 » Wed Sep 11, 2019 9:14 am

Time has passed and Im still working on finding freedom. As I told before, I went from a very negative self-image (ego) and went through live finding prove (approval, compliments) to turn that around and create a perfect self-image. I have a positive self image these days and feel very confident. Still Im extremely anxious around people as they can take that image away anytime. What I believe however is truly missing is self-esteem. This causes me the fear to loose that self image and also prevents me from letting it go; because there is nothing left.

Self-Image: Your self-image is what you think about yourself and what you tell yourself about what and who you are. It’s also severely affected by what you think other people think of you.


Self-Esteem: to like, admire, and value yourself. What other people say might be hurtful at times but it doesn’t affect your core belief in yourself as a likeable and worthwhile person. It is the belief that you are enough already and that you are the best of you in every moment. This supports the idea that even if you don't do anything right, you will still love yourself just the way you are. Perhaps, the low self-esteem started in childhood – it often happens to people whose parents are very critical or tell them they are never good enough.


While I keep on working on my list of achievements in the hope that it might one day be long enough, I try to fill the emptiness inside me with status, income, possessions, and so on. Im looking to others to validate me. To appreciate my positives, to understand my negatives, to give me the support I require. And when others do not give the reactions I expect from them, I fall into the mental loop of thinking what is wrong with you, even though I seem to have been doing everything right.

I would like to understand if the creation of this perfect self image is making up for the lack of self esteem. The self image comes from the outside and is anxious that others will see it different, while self esteem really comes from the inside. If you have a high self esteem why would you need a self image (ego)? Seems to me that self image is in all cases a fake. If it was negative before and is now positive; how could it have been me anyway; the truth is always there :)

User avatar
Sighclone
Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 6352
Joined: Wed Feb 13, 2008 6:22 pm

Re: Should I let go of my ego 'friend'?

Post by Sighclone » Wed Sep 11, 2019 4:22 pm

Who is this self that has an image or esteem?

That is the classic nondual question for you. However, even conventional talk therapists can help with adjusting egoic identity issues...so that you get better "self-esteem." And maybe, finally your self-esteem is sufficient that you can transcend this self altogether.

Andy
A person is not a thing or a process, but an opening through which the universe manifests. - Martin Heidegger
There is not past, no future; everything flows in an eternal present. - James Joyce

User avatar
turiya
Posts: 212
Joined: Sun Nov 27, 2016 11:14 pm
Location: CA

Re: Should I let go of my ego 'friend'?

Post by turiya » Wed Sep 11, 2019 8:07 pm

Here's a good video clip on self-esteem vs. Self-esteem (the former depends on a certain image of yourself, the latter comes from transcendence of images):

https://www.eckharttollenow.com/s/5tzfmm
“We ourselves are not an illusory part of Reality; rather are we Reality itself illusorily conceived.” - Wei Wu Wei

User avatar
Sighclone
Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 6352
Joined: Wed Feb 13, 2008 6:22 pm

Re: Should I let go of my ego 'friend'?

Post by Sighclone » Thu Sep 12, 2019 4:16 pm

Thanks, turiya - spot on video!

Andy
A person is not a thing or a process, but an opening through which the universe manifests. - Martin Heidegger
There is not past, no future; everything flows in an eternal present. - James Joyce

Post Reply