Cannot believe that my ego doesn't always speak the truth

A place for anything that doesn't fit into the existing forums
Post Reply
Salmoriaty
Posts: 24
Joined: Wed May 30, 2012 11:49 am

Cannot believe that my ego doesn't always speak the truth

Post by Salmoriaty » Sun Jun 17, 2012 6:50 pm

Hi all.just a bit about myself though I have posted a few times.
Don't really want to bring up the past but i was depressed for two years being unemployed and friends and parents disowned.
There is no backdtory why this happened.
Just crazy parents and crazy friends.
Anyway.
During this hardship I drunkenly kissed a few girls.
Not much but.....
So what my question is about is that I keep on brungin this up in my head.
I decided not to tell my partner as she mentioned that the guilt and pain is passed on when someone tells.
So I have kept this to myself.
Ii have told a friend about this and he blew it off as a mistake.
Other people here said I made a mistake.
But I keep telling myself it was a huge mistake.
This is my ego right? How do I let it go and not listen to my edo??
Awareness doesn't seem to help because I have listened to it for so long.
I don't want to flatter myself but I have been seen as a smart guy. Someone who 'uses' his head. Now it seems that my mind that I have relied on is 'lying' to me. Telling me that this is the worst thing someone can do etc.
I knew that my ego has lied because i felt like self harming myself through guilt.
If my ego was speaking the truth it would have never asked for that.
Anyways, what i am asking is how do I know the ego is lying and how do I seperate the ego from myself.
Thanks

User avatar
rideforever
Posts: 1513
Joined: Thu Aug 04, 2011 2:32 pm
Location: Hove

Re: Cannot believe that my ego doesn't always speak the trut

Post by rideforever » Sun Jun 17, 2012 11:05 pm

"I decided not to tell my partner as she mentioned that the guilt and pain is passed on when someone tells"

Perhaps I am reading this wrong but it sounds like you have been unfaithful and now you want to lie to your partner - and it's her fault ?

IMO you can start with reconsidering this.
I was proud, and I demanded the finest teacher
.. .. and when he appeared
.. .. .. .. I was so small

Salmoriaty
Posts: 24
Joined: Wed May 30, 2012 11:49 am

Re: Cannot believe that my ego doesn't always speak the trut

Post by Salmoriaty » Mon Jun 18, 2012 8:41 am

Please don't judge as you don't know how low I was and my partner once talked that we would not want to know small things like this as it just passes the guilt to the other.
So anyways.
My question was, how can I tell my ego is not telling the truth as I have used it all my life.
Are ither people's reaction justified compared to me?

User avatar
rideforever
Posts: 1513
Joined: Thu Aug 04, 2011 2:32 pm
Location: Hove

Re: Cannot believe that my ego doesn't always speak the trut

Post by rideforever » Mon Jun 18, 2012 10:23 am

Whatever you feel it will be good if you sit down and meditate on it.
Just sit, relax, let your breathing be natural.
Remain in the present, remain right here ... then you will have more space to understand everything.

You talk about "listening" to your awareness, but that sounds strange to me. If it is a voice that you listen to then it is part of your ego. Awareness doesn't have a voice - it is the place behind the voice.

Anyway I don't want to judge.
I was proud, and I demanded the finest teacher
.. .. and when he appeared
.. .. .. .. I was so small

Salmoriaty
Posts: 24
Joined: Wed May 30, 2012 11:49 am

Re: Cannot believe that my ego doesn't always speak the trut

Post by Salmoriaty » Mon Jun 18, 2012 2:42 pm

It was my ego that got into this situation.
I felt I was worthless, my ego beat me up as I felt I was nothing.
I never told anyone so I believed my ego.
I recieved an email by someone called Mark Iver who said that we always can tell whether someone else is wrong but we never question ourselves.
I find that true.
So, for example, should I base myself on what others feel about me.
I mean if a friend who knows me says don'y worry about what I did.
Believe him?
I just want to know when to trust my ego.....

User avatar
Donna
Posts: 174
Joined: Mon Apr 04, 2011 12:04 am

Re: Cannot believe that my ego doesn't always speak the trut

Post by Donna » Mon Jun 18, 2012 3:57 pm

Salmoriaty wrote:It was my ego that got into this situation.
I felt I was worthless, my ego beat me up as I felt I was nothing.
I never told anyone so I believed my ego.
I recieved an email by someone called Mark Iver who said that we always can tell whether someone else is wrong but we never question ourselves.
I find that true.
So, for example, should I base myself on what others feel about me.
I mean if a friend who knows me says don'y worry about what I did.
Believe him?
I just want to know when to trust my ego.....
Are you asking, how do I trust myself?

Try this?

As rideforever suggests, find a place to be still, be quiet, undisturbed, uninterrupted...wherever you may a find a peaceful place for yourself to do this.

Forget about calling anything 'ego' or 'awareness' for now. Instead of listening to others what you think you 'should' do, ask yourself the right question and be very specific.

Say, for example the question might be "Regarding my past moments of what I consider infidelity (or your word), what do I need to do? Tell my girlfriend or not?"

What is the very first answer that comes to you? Sit with this answer for a few moments. The answer may not be the easiest to come to terms with. Don't try to argue with it or change it.

See what happens with this process.
~*~*~*~* I love to live and live to love. *~*~*~*~

Salmoriaty
Posts: 24
Joined: Wed May 30, 2012 11:49 am

Re: Cannot believe that my ego doesn't always speak the trut

Post by Salmoriaty » Mon Jun 18, 2012 9:29 pm

I will never tell.
That's fine.
I am just wondering about ego and trying to figure it out.
For examplif, I would be here telling everyone how guilt I made my partner after going against her wished and twlling her.
That isn't the point.
My ego has always told me how I am worthless.
For years before the event.
Though I trusted it.
So I am wondering, should I believe what other people say about me.
The people who say I am something, or a good person.
I know I am the one to change myself but if I shouldn't trust my ego, who do I trust?

Ralph
Posts: 596
Joined: Fri Dec 25, 2009 12:08 am

Re: Cannot believe that my ego doesn't always speak the trut

Post by Ralph » Mon Jun 18, 2012 10:03 pm

Salmoriaty wrote:My ego has always told me how I am worthless.
..so which one is the real you ?
Though I trusted it
..so the real you trusted the ego ? why ? ..why don't you trust yourself instead.
I know I am the one to change myself but if I shouldn't trust my ego, who do I trust?
Yourself ,silly .. but first you must find out who the real you is ?

Salmoriaty
Posts: 24
Joined: Wed May 30, 2012 11:49 am

Re: Cannot believe that my ego doesn't always speak the trut

Post by Salmoriaty » Mon Jun 18, 2012 10:07 pm

I'm sorry but I am new to this.
Who is myself?
I always thought that was my ego.
Myself?
If it isn't my ego or emotions then what is it.
Thats what I need to find out right?

Ralph
Posts: 596
Joined: Fri Dec 25, 2009 12:08 am

Re: Cannot believe that my ego doesn't always speak the trut

Post by Ralph » Mon Jun 18, 2012 10:26 pm

Salmoriaty wrote:I'm sorry but I am new to this.
Who is myself?
I always thought that was my ego.
Myself?
no apologies necessary .. I recommend you read more Eckhart Tolle if you are interested. He is great at speaking about the ego and the pain body.
If it isn't my ego or emotions then what is it.
Thats what I need to find out right ?
Yes, that is a good place to start .

User avatar
DavidB
Posts: 652
Joined: Mon Jan 30, 2012 7:55 am
Location: Melbourne, Australia

Re: Cannot believe that my ego doesn't always speak the trut

Post by DavidB » Wed Jun 20, 2012 3:28 am

Hi Salmoriaty,

There is no ego.

"Ego" is a term that was created by Sigmund Freud to help better understand aspects of the human psyche, while developing his theories on psychotherapy. If you want to know what Ego is, then you need to study Psychotherapy. Not necessary however, nor recommended.

The "new age" movement has commandeered the term "Ego" into their own philosophical understanding of human nature. Consequently, although Ego is understood in psychotherapy in a specific context, within the many and varied "new age" philosophy, the term Ego can mean many different things, in many different contexts. This can make things very confusing.

There is no ego however, this is just a term used to refer to many aspects of the human identity.

The ego has become more or less demonized within spiritual philosophical ideology, being blamed for all many of human iniquities. Which is neither true, nor helpful.

It is much better to ignore these "new age" ideas and instead just focus on becoming consciously aware of your own thoughts and associated emotions. The more you do this, the easier it becomes to distinguish healthy thought patterns from unhealthy thought patterns, and appropriate emotional responses from inappropriate emotional responses, without worrying about silly misguided and confusing ideology.

This takes time and conscious effort. It doesn't come over night. It is a growth process which develops over a life time.
“Wisdom is knowing I am nothing, Love is knowing I am everything, and between the two my life moves.” ― Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj

User avatar
rideforever
Posts: 1513
Joined: Thu Aug 04, 2011 2:32 pm
Location: Hove

Re: Cannot believe that my ego doesn't always speak the trut

Post by rideforever » Wed Jun 20, 2012 9:50 am

Salmoriaty wrote: My ego has always told me how I am worthless.
For years before the event.
Though I trusted it.
So I am wondering, should I believe what other people say about me.
The people who say I am something, or a good person.
I know I am the one to change myself but if I shouldn't trust my ego, who do I trust?
If I were you I would stop right here and ask the following questions - of yourself :

> why has the ego told you you are worthless ?
> why did you trust it ? why didn't you say "no i am not worthless"
I was proud, and I demanded the finest teacher
.. .. and when he appeared
.. .. .. .. I was so small

Salmoriaty
Posts: 24
Joined: Wed May 30, 2012 11:49 am

Re: Cannot believe that my ego doesn't always speak the trut

Post by Salmoriaty » Thu Jun 21, 2012 12:54 pm

I trusted my ego because thats what other people thought.
My mother doesn't talk to me though I have tried.
She said I was hopeless because I lost my wallet and diesn't talk to me (there is nothing else in this story, thats the truth).
She has always been like that.
My old friends don't talk to me and I couldn't find work for 2 years.
This is what happened but I can see this isn't me.
This is on the surface.
Kust quick question.
I love my wife.
So deeply.
Is that she is?
What I love about her.
So the real me is what people love about me?

User avatar
Donna
Posts: 174
Joined: Mon Apr 04, 2011 12:04 am

Re: Cannot believe that my ego doesn't always speak the trut

Post by Donna » Thu Jun 21, 2012 5:19 pm

Imagine a dog chasing its tail going around in circles.

Which will come first? The surrender to the exhaustion of never catching that tail, or the complete realization that the tail is attached to self, therefore, no need to chase tail?

By the way, this is not posted in jest.
~*~*~*~* I love to live and live to love. *~*~*~*~

User avatar
rideforever
Posts: 1513
Joined: Thu Aug 04, 2011 2:32 pm
Location: Hove

Re: Cannot believe that my ego doesn't always speak the trut

Post by rideforever » Sat Jun 30, 2012 10:29 pm

Salmoriaty wrote:My mother doesn't talk to me though I have tried.She said I was hopeless because I lost my wallet and diesn't talk to me (there is nothing else in this story, thats the truth).
If your mother doesn't talk to you, it is unlikely that it is because you lost your wallet. That doesn't make much sense. There is probably a lot more going on.

I think you jump to fast to conclusions, and you can explore why people feel the way they do, and what is really going on with your relationships.
I was proud, and I demanded the finest teacher
.. .. and when he appeared
.. .. .. .. I was so small

Post Reply