Can spirituality cause loser people?

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carpediem
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Can spirituality cause loser people?

Post by carpediem » Wed May 15, 2013 12:02 am

Hi everyone, I am new at road of spirituality. When I deal with to be spiritual, It makes loser me. For example: When my big brother is angry at me, I am unresponsive(to be spritual) to his behaviours and he continue his nervous behaviours and he not to take seriously me. On the other hand, If I react him such as; ignore him or say "don't angry at me" and then He take seriously me, I have a high opinion of him .There is same thing in my friends between I . As a result; What Can I do? Where am I wrong? In thoughts? or In behaviours? Must I accept his behaviour to be spiritual? Thanks for all response, my english is a little bad sorry.:)

carpediem
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Re: Can spirituality cause loser people?

Post by carpediem » Fri May 17, 2013 10:54 am

Is there someone to help me here???

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Donna
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Re: Can spirituality cause loser people?

Post by Donna » Fri May 17, 2013 2:51 pm

Consider where your non-reaction is coming from...is it a place of awareness, where you can transcend the moment, the person, and their actions?

Or is the non-reaction coming from a form of passive-aggressiveness?

That's where I would start. :-)
~*~*~*~* I love to live and live to love. *~*~*~*~

randomguy
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Re: Can spirituality cause loser people?

Post by randomguy » Fri May 17, 2013 4:12 pm

Yes, or perhaps the idea that unresponsiveness is in fact a good and spiritual reaction stems from the misunderstanding that what you are is a person that needs to be more spiritual. I remember thinking that a reaction from me was actually "mine". It no longer seems the case. Upon examination, the reaction is not separate from the landscape of the world because the perception of a separate me is founded in thought and imagination. Another way to characterize it is to say that the reactions of your big brother and you are a singular weather occurrence within the sky of awareness.

What may be discovered as a truer identity than the notion/story of the person reacting with unresponsiveness to be more spiritual is the ever present underlying awareness of the reaction. Could the story of the person being spiritual be just an idea albeit a heavily energized and enduring one?
What Can I do?
I would recommend taking a split second to recognize that there is observation of the reaction, that there is awareness of the reaction. Take a split second to see if the stillness within you still resides during an emotional experience. Perhaps also consider that spirituality may not fit best as a practice of changing behavior or changing emotions, but may serve well as an intention toward discovering/noticing the nature of being, the nature of this existence that is here all on its own for you.
Do the yellow-rose petals
tremble and fall
at the rapid's roar?
- Basho

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rideforever
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Re: Can spirituality cause loser people?

Post by rideforever » Fri May 17, 2013 5:11 pm

I think you should meditate 6 hours a day.

And then when your brother comes, just punch him in the face !!

Any questions ?




[ ok, I was joking ... 3 hours is fine !!!! ]
I was proud, and I demanded the finest teacher
.. .. and when he appeared
.. .. .. .. I was so small

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AlohaFriends
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Re: Can spirituality cause loser people?

Post by AlohaFriends » Fri May 17, 2013 10:17 pm

carpediem,

Find out the real issue behind your big brother's behavior. Ask him "Why are you mad at me?", "Did I do something upset you or somebody else did something upset you ?" If he doesn't want to answer your question, ask him again next time he shows you a bad attitude. Talk to him in a calm manner. Don't get mad at his attitude. It's only superficial. What's important is the real problem that made him behave that way. if the problem has something to do with you, you need to work on it.

You said, "I have a high opinion of him." Do you mean you keep thinking that he is a bad guy ?---- this could make the situation worse. Just work on the part you can do best.

carpediem
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Re: Can spirituality cause loser people?

Post by carpediem » Fri May 17, 2013 11:17 pm

Donna wrote:Consider where your non-reaction is coming from...is it a place of awareness, where you can transcend the moment, the person, and their actions?

Or is the non-reaction coming from a form of passive-aggressiveness?

That's where I would start. :-)
It changes, usually it comes from passive-aggressiveness. Thus, I am unresponsive to be spiritual although I am not in present/awareness. But sometimes it comes from awaraness and I am unresponsive entirely.In fact, my problem is not serious between my brother and me, it is just example. It is serious if I think all of my relationships. As a result, If I am in present or try to be present I can not be leader in group or It makes me loser(The important thing is here! can it cause? or I misunderstood?) . On the other hand, if I believe my thoughts or my ego I can lead our small group(3-4 friends) and they take seriously me.

carpediem
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Re: Can spirituality cause loser people?

Post by carpediem » Fri May 17, 2013 11:46 pm

AlohaFriends wrote:carpediem,

Find out the real issue behind your big brother's behavior. Ask him "Why are you mad at me?", "Did I do something upset you or somebody else did something upset you ?" If he doesn't want to answer your question, ask him again next time he shows you a bad attitude. Talk to him in a calm manner. Don't get mad at his attitude. It's only superficial. What's important is the real problem that made him behave that way. if the problem has something to do with you, you need to work on it.

You said, "I have a high opinion of him." Do you mean you keep thinking that he is a bad guy ?---- this could make the situation worse. Just work on the part you can do best.
Thank you Aloha but it is not important too. It is not big problem between my brother and me, just an example. My problem is about all of my relationships. This question is clear 'Can spirituality cause loser people? " " İf yes,but is it not important? Because I am in present and they not important if I don't think them." and "I have a high opinion of him" in this sentence, I used google translate :) and there was a mistake. I wanted to say that " I am important in his thoughts. "

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Onceler
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Re: Can spirituality cause loser people?

Post by Onceler » Sat May 18, 2013 12:39 pm

Yes, you can get lost in spirituality, if that's your question.
Be present, be pleasant.

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Webwanderer
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Re: Can spirituality cause loser people?

Post by Webwanderer » Sat May 18, 2013 2:23 pm

Can spirituality cause loser people?
At first it may seem so, but in the long run spirituality is about a deeper truth in being. When one stops being so concerned about appearances, and is not yet secure in living from their true nature, there is often a feeling of being lost and alone. One may consider this a 'loser' stage, but it's really only a transition. From the ego perspective winning and losing are an important issue. But from the true self perspective what matters most is clarity. As clarity grows in consciousness, one becomes stronger in their perspective of life. Who wins and who loses is then seen for what it is - just another experience in the exploration of life.

WW

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