Ambition and Love. What was my mistake?

A place for anything that doesn't fit into the existing forums
Post Reply
fedemart
Posts: 13
Joined: Fri Jan 24, 2014 9:26 pm

Ambition and Love. What was my mistake?

Post by fedemart » Tue Jan 28, 2014 6:59 pm

Hi folks,

I would appreciate your opinion about the following text I wrote three years ago. I believed what I wrote and lived by those beliefs for a long time. In the end, it didn't work for me that well, and that is how I came to PON.

What was my mistake in your opinion?
If there is anything in which everyone agree on is that we all want to be happy.

How to be happy? At my twenty six years old I believe two things are required: love and ambition.

Love

It is the filial love, the one of friends, family and a girlfriend of many years. I'm referring to that which makes you able to be with people for hours without noticing the time. You feel comfortable, you are you. You forget the masks, worries and stress. You live like in a dream. You don't always feel amazing fun, but a feeling like if you were sleeping, dreaming. Time passes flying and you are satisfied, quiet, happy, sharing your life. You are watching a soccer game with your friends and eating pizza, discussing the stupid things that happen to you in life, or you are watching a movie with your girlfriend and you lay staring into her eyes for ten minutes, hugging in your bed. Or you are having dinner with your parents and brothers and telling them what you watched on the TV or experienced that day. All that has to be part of happines.

Ambition

It is what makes you wake up early in the morning, dress up and get out to work on something. If you don´t have ambition, you could live forever in the dream of the filial love, but that equals dying. When you live only out of filial love you think there is no reason to exist, that you could die and live in a dream forever: it would be the same without the stressful demands of existence. No, you need ambition. It can be anything: desire wealth, status, power, know the world, have your company, sing, play piano, whatever you want. The key is that you must desire getting something you don't have. It has to be a fire that burns inside. People who feel that fire are the most alive, the ones who sleep the least and feel every moment of the day, every minute that passes, they live it.

But if you are pure ambition and you don't have love, you are a poor man. You live working for something and then you don't have friends to share what you achieved nor your life experience. What is the value of living an intense life if you are going to live it alone? Alone with your thoughts, alone with your perceptions, your life experience and your ideas. You become a brilliant and admired astronomer, but you don´t have no one to hug and watch the stars with. It is not worth it either.

In sum, both things are required. Some people say that to be happy you need to love God and give love, consider everyone as your brothers. Maybe it works for some, but to me it is because they have an intrinsic ambition: to make this world a better place, to be closer to God, or other goals like such, that makes certain famous people to wake up early and "make good". For the rest of the mortals (most) who don´t want to follow that way of life, I think it is good to think in the two components I explained above.

User avatar
rideforever
Posts: 1513
Joined: Thu Aug 04, 2011 2:32 pm
Location: Hove

Re: Ambition and Love. What was my mistake?

Post by rideforever » Tue Jan 28, 2014 9:30 pm

Here you have an exact recipe for tremendous progress ... stability and exploration ... what you call love and ambition.

I think intuitively you have understand exactly what is needed. You create a stable scaffold out of what you have and then you explore forwards. And then With your new found discoveries you create the next scaffold ... and so on.

It's perfect. Or at least it should be ...

It seems from what you have said that neither your love nor ambition was real ... it was all mind stuff conditioned by the TV and your environment. Rather than REAL.

You talk of love ... as if it were an episode of "Friends". But love is not that. Love is the communication that you receive in the spiritual heart ... this organ in your chest. That is it. It can be wild. It is not predictable ... that's why most people shut it down ... and watch TV.

Ambition ... well you talk of being "admired". So what is the ambition really about - vanity, what others think of you. Again it is not real. Ambition is about what you want, who you are.

Nevertheless your structure is correct. Stability and exploration.

But ... it needs to founded on what is real. And so you have to do some inward searching.
I was proud, and I demanded the finest teacher
.. .. and when he appeared
.. .. .. .. I was so small

User avatar
Webwanderer
Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 6844
Joined: Fri May 12, 2006 12:03 am

Re: Ambition and Love. What was my mistake?

Post by Webwanderer » Tue Jan 28, 2014 9:38 pm

fedemart wrote:I would appreciate your opinion about the following text I wrote three years ago. I believed what I wrote and lived by those beliefs for a long time. In the end, it didn't work for me that well, and that is how I came to PON.

What was my mistake in your opinion?
What didn't work for you is the focus on the end result over the journey. It doesn't matter where you think you are going, you are always here and now. How can you say it didn't work unless you have judged it a failure. If I have the math correct, you're 29 years old. That is hardly a lifetime spent.

I suggest that you not abandon your perspective completely, but continue to enhance and tweak it along the way. You didn't know everything then, and you don't know everything now. Growth of understanding and perspective is a lifelong endeavor. The moment you think you've arrived, is the moment you pitch your anchor and stay the ongoing possibilities of greater beingness. Picking up Tolle is an addition, not a replacement. And there is yet more beyond the teachings of Tolle. There is always more. We build upon our past experience, sometimes by revolution, sometimes by evolution. But everything contributes.

Don't be in a hurry to throw the baby out with the bath water. Love and appreciation, and ambition and desire, are not valueless in our lives. They are on one hand the catalyst to our being explorers of life, and on the other the quality that brings joy to the experience. Have fun in life whenever you can. Appreciation is key. Clarity of presence makes it possible.

WW

User avatar
AlohaFriends
Posts: 78
Joined: Mon Feb 27, 2012 9:38 am

Re: Ambition and Love. What was my mistake?

Post by AlohaFriends » Tue Jan 28, 2014 10:45 pm

fedemart wrote: it didn't work for me
You didn’t elaborate on this point. Could it be because of the same old condition of “still unsatisfied” ? Is that what you meant ? If so. The following of your own statement could be the reason why :
fedemart wrote: The key is that you must desire getting something you don't have.
You are at the right forum.

fedemart
Posts: 13
Joined: Fri Jan 24, 2014 9:26 pm

Re: Ambition and Love. What was my mistake?

Post by fedemart » Wed Jan 29, 2014 7:56 am

Thank you very much for your replies. I think you are all right and I am using your feedback for my inward searching about this experience.

As Rideforever says, my "ambition" was probably not real, it had a component of vanity since the beginning, and then fear transformed it into something worse.

Webwanderer points out that the problem is the focus in the end result. That is also correct. A psychiatrist told me that I was caring too much about time, so he recommended me to read PON, which is the reason I ended up here :)

Finally, AlohaFriends implies that even if I reached my goals (which I didn´t) I would have been unsatisfied and I would have came to this forum anyways, which I think is also true. I didn't write what didn't work out for me, because that would have included my interpretation of what went wrong and I didn't want to influence your feedback.

Thanks again! Now that I am about to complete PON, I will read chapters 9 and 10 of ANE, because they talk about awakened action. With that and your replies, I think I will reach a conclusion.

kutto
Posts: 79
Joined: Mon Apr 22, 2013 4:11 am
Location: Wollongong

Re: Ambition and Love. What was my mistake?

Post by kutto » Thu Jan 30, 2014 6:38 am

Just a comment on ambition. Bear in mind that whatever you see in the world is a reflection of what is within.

For ambition to be meaningful at all you must agree that you have a 'lack' that the ambition is seeking to fill. From that basic premise you will always have a sense of lack carried forward with the sense of ambition to make it meaningful to sustain and ambition as a concept could only be satisfied in the 'permanant' future and never in the now or you would no longer have it! and there is a basic unresovable tension in ambition by definiton. Ambition is of the ego becuase it is in the future and a promise and ephemeral.

In the 'outward' world this is 'normal' and in a sense the lack and ambition go together because you can do 'work' to fill the meet the ambition bringing all the many experiences that implies. I totally went through this for about 10 years until various life events lead me to set aside outward ambition for inward discovery.

Now that obvoiusly not say ambition is 'bad' nor is outer achievement - they are all parts of getting to know ourselves and are experience but are temporal and ever shifting and it is only natural we should reflect in the outer before looking within :D

The irony of spiritual ambition is that it is all about not doing - but about being and becoming and discovering within what is already there. And meeting the sense of lack by discovering and uncovering what is already within. This is really a 'removal' and discovery process combined as all the most beautiful parts are always there but so often hidden in confusion. Although I do note that a sense of spiritual 'ambition' can certainly be associated with the sense of 'lack' and lead to unnecessary pushing until you don't any more - this can very much be carryover of the mindset we bring if we have been ambitious in the outer world... But it does not matter in spirituality - it always guides you to where you next need to be no matter where you begin - as does life - to the outer then to the inner.

Post Reply