Tired of the play

[Webwanderer]

I remember when I first started sensing it, it almost felt as if it were mocking my emotions on the surface.

The way I see it is that our emotions are Divine gifts to be considered. If we know that occasional wondrous feeling of appreciation and love that sometimes arise for whatever the present moment has to offer, we have litmus test for alignment with our true nature. Alignment after all, has a joyous vibration when clear. When emotions run amok, there is an inherent message in them that the way we are perceiving the conditions of the moment are off the mark. (Interestingly, 'off the mark' is the original definition of sin.)

If we can see painful emotions as gifts to guide us, clarity and freedom from suffering is near at hand. Maybe that's what's meant by "the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand"..... . Heaven as such, is of course not a place, but a state of being.

WW

[beginnersmind]

I remember when I first started sensing it, it almost felt as if it were mocking my emotions on the surface.

The way I see it is that our emotions are Divine gifts to be considered. If we know that occasional wondrous feeling of appreciation and love that sometimes arise for whatever the present moment has to offer, we have litmus test for alignment with our true nature. Alignment after all, has a joyous vibration when clear. When emotions run amok, there is an inherent message in them that the way we are perceiving the conditions of the moment are off the mark. (Interestingly, 'off the mark' is the original definition of sin.)

If we can see painful emotions as gifts to guide us, clarity and freedom from suffering is near at hand. Maybe that's what's meant by "the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand"..... . Heaven as such, is of course not a place, but a state of being.

WW

My statement was meant in a lighthearted way, hence the laughing emocon

[KathleenBrugger]

I got interested in Qigong while doing a Tai Chi video that had a couple Qigong movements in it. The first one I did was called, "Rooster Crows in the Morning" and as soon as I did it, I was hooked on Qigong. If you're interested inany videos, Francesco Garripoli has a pretty good one called, "Qigong for Beginners". It is based on both Taoist and Buddhist Qigong. There is a sample of it on Youtube called Wuji Swimming Dragon. A good book on a Korean version of the Eight Brocades is also called, "Qigong for Beginners", by Stanley Wilson. It also has some other info like micro cosmic orbit and visualizations, etc.

I highly recommend to also learn about Qigong tapping. It's been awhile, but I think Francesco's video has this. Lee Holden also has a video with this, as also a "7 Minutes of Magic" video on Youtube, that I would say is more of a warm up. Actually, it seems there are a lot of Qigong videos on Youtube, LOL. Enjoy.

Thanks for all of the info Eric!

[smiileyjen101]

Interesting OP DJ if we look at the divisions of physical, mental, emotional and spiritual aspects, no one of them rules the roost, regardless of how 'awake' we are.

Lots of things do affect our energy levels, seasons, life happenings etc

(eg: I'm mourning the loss of my best friend's mother, close on top of passing the anniversary of my daughter's death & sharing her grief and wondering what is the point of it all, young or old - healthy or sick, 'awake' or in the moment through Alzheimers where there is no other moment!! (her mum & my dad both have it)

When I asked how she saw her Mum's life she said 'struggle and anger, just struggle and anger' When I asked her what the point of life was then she said well we better just appreciate those moments, like - look at those beautiful flowers, sent with love from people...
And in that moment - in that presence yup there it is ~ gratitude & generosity - not necessarily an awe inspiring moment, just is, just a fully IS moment, and in that moment the tiredness, the questions & the answers, the role playing and the movies fall away - stripped bare and basic.

Like a holiday without leaving your body

---- we've also been building up to a super moon - full & eclipse tonight and I've been fit to bite the head off a rampaging tiger)

Yet, the spiritual path is not linear in my experience. It's an ebb and flow, peaks and valleys, and stumbling and getting up. So I tend to stay away from the conceptual ideas of "awakening" or "enlightenment" and try to just look to the Stillness. Sometimes I succeed. Sometimes I have to choose again.

Eric

^That's a nice statement Eric, as with the physical, the mental, the emotional, the spiritual is no different.

And DJ, I find that sometimes we are having a 'rest' that becomes almost tedious and boring, before the next big roller coaster ride starts.

I saw a really cool slogan the other day that said "In order to understand your life, you have to look backwards; but in order to live it you have to look ahead."
If you can do that with awareness of the present moment/s then .... well.. it just 'is'....

I do a 'thing' sometimes that flushes out if physical, mental, emotional or spiritual aspects are teetering or 'off'. It's from a Chicken Soup for the Soul book for women, telling the tale of Aunt Grace, and her recipe for a long and well lived life after her fiancée (and just about every other marriageable man of her age) was killed in WW1. She had 'Rules to live by' ever day 1. Do something nice for someone else
2. Do something nice for your self
3. Do something that you don't want to do, but needs doing
4. Do a physical exercise
5. Do a mental exercise
6. Do an original prayer that always includes counting my blessings.

If you find yourself resisting one of these daily activities therein may lie the resistance or out of kilter aspect - eg if you don't want to do something nice for someone (anyone) else, you may be feeling 'lack' or unappreciated, or overwhelmed. If you don't want to do something nice for your self, you may be feeling guilty or unworthy etc - same with physical or mental exercising - if not, why not?
Grace wrote every day in a diary to record them and keep herself on track.
It's explained here ---- http://books.google.com.au/books?id=EOk ... B-Zz5R&sig

What's the point? Any moment where it just IS.

...even a full moon eclipse.

[beginnersmind]

I got interested in Qigong while doing a Tai Chi video that had a couple Qigong movements in it. The first one I did was called, "Rooster Crows in the Morning" and as soon as I did it, I was hooked on Qigong. If you're interested inany videos, Francesco Garripoli has a pretty good one called, "Qigong for Beginners". It is based on both Taoist and Buddhist Qigong. There is a sample of it on Youtube called Wuji Swimming Dragon. A good book on a Korean version of the Eight Brocades is also called, "Qigong for Beginners", by Stanley Wilson. It also has some other info like micro cosmic orbit and visualizations, etc.

I highly recommend to also learn about Qigong tapping. It's been awhile, but I think Francesco's video has this. Lee Holden also has a video with this, as also a "7 Minutes of Magic" video on Youtube, that I would say is more of a warm up. Actually, it seems there are a lot of Qigong videos on Youtube, LOL. Enjoy.

Thanks for all of the info Eric!

You're welcome Kathleen. There really are so many videos out there and on Youtube, not to mention styles of Qigong, that I'm sure you'll find something that resonates with you. I'd only say that if you were to start practicing any Qigong standing meditations, to try and find a video where the person really explains the stance needed, like tucking in the tail bone, elongating the neck and spine, while relaxing the shoulders, as this is really important.

Eric

[KathleenBrugger]

There really are so many videos out there and on Youtube, not to mention styles of Qigong, that I'm sure you'll find something that resonates with you. I'd only say that if you were to start practicing any Qigong standing meditations, to try and find a video where the person really explains the stance needed, like tucking in the tail bone, elongating the neck and spine, while relaxing the shoulders, as this is really important.

Eric

Thanks for this also. After my one QiGong experience I was reluctant to just watch videos because I felt like there were important aspects to body position that a teacher could really help you get right from the beginning.

[dijmart]

Hi Jen,

Thanks for the thoughtful post. First off, I'm sorry for your loss.

The most resistance I felt with the list you gave was any of it that took energy, therefore I feel a lack of that- energy. However, in the last day or so, I've tried to get my attention away from that, well kinda, until this morning when I almost called off from work, because I was so damn tired.

Jen said-

And DJ, I find that sometimes we are having a 'rest' that becomes almost tedious and boring, before the next big roller coaster ride starts

Welllll, hopefully I'll get a zap of energy before that happens, otherwise I might fall out of the coaster!

[treasuretheday]

Beautiful post, SmileyJen. Thank you for sharing what you've been involved in. Have missed seeing you around here, and wondered about you! (You're not supposed to leave us at any time, you know!) My heart goes out to you and your friend and her family. Your friend sounds very wise and warm, and she is surely assisted by and grateful for having you, your support and your TLC close by.

Love the rules from Aunt Grace! Thanks for sharing. Couldn't be better!

Lots of things do affect our energy levels, seasons, life happenings etc ---- we've also been building up to a super moon - full & eclipse tonight and I've been fit to bite the head off a rampaging tiger)

Yes! Full eclipse tonight and the moon is in Libra, so the energies of that really zero in our relationships. Also, a solar eclipse will occur April 29! These two eclipses will bracket an extraordinary astrological event called the Cardinal Grand Cross, which forms on April 23.

For over a year Jupiter, Uranus and Pluto have been moving very close together, forming a t-square: three powerhouses moving into close quarters, and the closer they get, the more we feel it ---feel the tension building. No wonder so many people had a rough winter! On a positive note, this forces us to look at whatever’s been swept under the carpet! If we are brave and face those hard to look at issues, lasting, impactful transformation is assured.

So...back to the Grand Cross! A fourth planet (Mars) will enter into all the fun soon, creating that much awaited, anticipated Cross! All four planets will form 90-degree angles to each other. April 23 they will all be positioned at exactly 13 degrees. Going to be an interesting day! Impossible to overlook the energy rising. But the gift of the cross can be a true turning point.

Interesting that the four planets will be precisely aligned in a Grand Cross at 13 degrees. In the Tarot deck, the major arcana card number 13 is the Death card. The Death card is the card of major transformation.

[smiileyjen101]

DJ said: The most resistance I felt with the list you gave was any of it that took energy, therefore I feel a lack of that- energy. However, in the last day or so, I've tried to get my attention away from that, well kinda, until this morning when I almost called off from work, because I was so damn tired.

I hear you DJ, the more of those 'holidays' without leaving your body we have (being present to, and resting in the fullness of the moment) the easier the energy flows.

In that link Aunt Grace left a brilliant bath remedy and her journaling gave her insight into her daily doings, but also expressing her deepest feelings and thoughts that might otherwise have been repressed.

She has another wonderful, brilliant thing in there that takes us out of laziness and self pity etc...

'I alone can take the initiative to escape the sarcophagus of self'.

For that alone her name ---- Grace ------ shines as a beacon. The notion of being tired comes from resisting or trying to dictate what is rather than fully being IN it.... and we only do this in the manner of projecting and/or protecting images of 'self'. That's why the letting go is like being on a roller coaster ride ----- try and even think of being tired on one... we can't because we are fully (physically, mentally, emotionally) IN the ride.

Jen said: And DJ, I find that sometimes we are having a 'rest' that becomes almost tedious and boring, before the next big roller coaster ride starts

DJ said:
Welllll, hopefully I'll get a zap of energy before that happens, otherwise I might fall out of the coaster!

I have a feeling the coaster has rock solid straps - (or immense gravitational force) to hold you in --- screaming is optional, but ultimately doesn't change the course of the ride

Once you've been through these 'cycles' a few times you can notice ... or rather I've been through these cycles a few times now and notice the symptoms and take steps to pay homage to that part of the cycle, rather than carry on a routine that doesn't fit and creates resistance and the resultant tiredness.

I would suggest, be aware of your response to things if you can, ... when you look back to understand things you'll see they all have a path that led to 'here'.

Going against the 'flow' gives rise to frustration, unwillingness to go with the flow makes us build 'excuses' and holding onto them is also exhausting as we have to maintain the façade that we've built up in the 'sarcophagus of self'. All the reasons you didn't take a day to rest and relax from your job - sure we're too important, we're too irreplaceable, too responsible to do such a 'terrible' thing (& all the other 'lies' we tell ourselves - we'll lose our jobs, become homeless and not cope). It's all programmed BS and absolutely, it's tiring holding on like that. --- try it, list the 'reasons' and test them for honesty or ego/fear at work.

Letting go.... is when we reach the point and say the F.. it prayer - the quickest way to peace. It can be in large or small things and comes from the honesty of being aware of whether we are making our choices in awareness, capacity and willingness, and if not, which one of them are we abdicating.

It can be as small as going for a walk and deciding to go left four times before turning right and then just doing it, fully awake.

A really wonderful adventure began when I decided to 'let go' drove to a train station with my girls, got on the next train that arrived and just went with whatever arrived - it happened to be a train to a beach location, where a bus driver smiled at us, so we got on the bus, which took us to a ferry, which took us to an island, which took us to another bus, which took us to a lookout walk around a headland where whales and dolphins and sea eagles and and and were just BEING, and being beautifully... and what a wonderful day of surprise - in surprise we don't have expectations, we just ARE alive, it's food for the soul.

DJ, let surprises feed your soul.

....
Thanks for your post Treasure. It was a wonderful eclipse last night and from my vantage I got to see the whole thing. The stuff you're saying about the cross makes sense to me - heaven help me when Mars enters the picture lol!!!

Although that may be helpful for DJ to increase her energy levels.

I have an important meeting on the 23rd, and it's my brother's birthday, so we'll see what transpires - do you think I should gag myself, in case too much 'me' is too much (Mars is my ruling planet!!)

Well, off to the funeral... but with sad news there is always joyful news following hot on its heels, one of our former posters has just let me know that she's had a healthy baby boy - the circle of life.... Interestingly that news has my heart bubbling and silent tears falling that haven't with my friend's mum's passing.

Birth is important, life is important, death... less so.

[treasuretheday]

I have an important meeting on the 23rd, and it's my brother's birthday, so we'll see what transpires - do you think I should gag myself, in case too much 'me' is too much (Mars is my ruling planet!!)

Might not be a bad idea!

So, you are either an Aries or a Scorpio. Aries is a Cardinal sign, and while everyone will be affected by this event, Cardinal signs will be impacted the most: Cancer, Capricorn, Aries, Libra.

Speaking of Mars, it has been retrograde since March 1, and will be until May 19. It is best to not initiate any new projects until after the 19th of May. Any projects started while Mars is retrograde tend to not pan out too well. Fine to work on a project someone else started, but not so good to be the initiator! Also during Mars Retrograde, people often notice low energy levels (!), argumentativeness and irritability.

Further, Mars will be sauntering through Libra for the next nine months! Libra and Mars make strange roommates, kind of like Oscar and Felix of the Odd Couple. Libra, mediator and harmonizer, thinks Mars, warrior and aggressor, is crazy, while Mars thinks Libra is lackadaisical and lazy! This energy will bring unresolved relationship issues to the surface for many.

I've been through these cycles a few times now and notice the symptoms and take steps to pay homage to that part of then cycle, rather than carry on a routine that doesn't fit and creates resistance

Beautiful! I think this very awareness will serve you well on the 23rd! Just be mindful and attentive and proceed with care.

[dijmart]

The notion of being tired comes from resisting or trying to dictate what is rather than fully being IN it.... and we only do this in the manner of projecting and/or protecting images of 'self'. That's why the letting go is like being on a roller coaster ride ----- try and even think of being tired on one... we can't because we are fully (physically, mentally, emotionally) IN the ride.

Resisting...that's another theory to add to the arsenal, makes sense, because I do find myself saying "ugh, I don't want to!" with regard to what takes energy to perform. Perhaps the winter blues was the cause to begin with and now I'm left with the tiredness that is causing me to resist further activities that would make it worse.

All the reasons you didn't take a day to rest and relax from your job - sure we're too important, we're too irreplaceable, too responsible to do such a 'terrible' thing (& all the other 'lies' we tell ourselves - we'll lose our jobs, become homeless and not cope). It's all programmed BS and absolutely, it's tiring holding on like that. --- try it, list the 'reasons' and test them for honesty or ego/fear at work.

Sooooo, I didn't read this post until this morning and guess what? I had already called off work for today! LOL All the "reasons" meant nothing this morning and I just did what I needed to do.

It can be in large or small things and comes from the honesty of being aware of whether we are making our choices in awareness, capacity and willingness, and if not, which one of them are we abdicating.

I suppose I'm lacking the willingness. I've never been a very high energy person, so when my energy get's zapped, it's pretty bad, it feels like I'm dragging the body along kicking and screaming.

So, thanks, I have some more to chew on

[Rose and Richard]

Hi

I believe that we can get caught up in the seriousness of spirituality and always trying to get better and better before better and better just comes to us. I remember feeling quite sad about the whole awareness thingie that resonated with me. I recall thinking where is the bubbly person I once was. In fact at the beginning I thought I really should be about 2inches off the ground with this spirituality and wanted to reform every one.
As the years passed I came to know that every bit of us is to be enjoyed. Our mind our body our spirit and use then them all equally in my being. I was so delighted when I found Mike Dooley and was able to bring back my personality again, it is what is a big part of me here on this earth.. so I use it, I'm learning to do this with presence .. that takes time..I have loads of it.
With Mike's teachings I was able to bring Eckhart's teachings and his together and feel like me again.
Eckhart himself will tell you that on the continuum of people teaching spirituality there is himself and his style and then there are people like Tony Robbins with his jovial style; each being at the opposite end of that continuum but giving the same message. Let your personality come through and use all of you. Life is for dancing with, your spirit likes you to be happy and joyful because you exude that happiness through it. Namaste Rose

PS. I also believe that when we are having the feelings that are experiencing there is usually something not working out the way we feel it might or should and a touch of fear sets in and wow of course Ego jumps on, as Eckhart says we are never angry or annoyed for the reason we think.

[dijmart]

Hi

I believe that we can get caught up in the seriousness of spirituality and always trying to get better and better before better and better just comes to us. I remember feeling quite sad about the whole awareness thingie that resonated with me. I recall thinking where is the bubbly person I once was.

Actually, finally, the true break through had happened with self inquiry where consciousness became aware of it Self. The Body and mind conditioning was seen for what it is..unreal/illusion..but not separate from consciousness either and everything is included. For about a month I was happy, not blissful, but happy and content, then came this tiredness and this tiredness has been for months now. In the beginning it was noticeable, but not to the point of avoiding activities, however this has changed and as Jen points out resistance has set in.

PS. I also believe that when we are having the feelings that are experiencing there is usually something not working out the way we feel it might or should and a touch of fear sets in and wow of course Ego jumps on, as Eckhart says we are never angry or annoyed for the reason we think.

So, this tiredness has now become annoying, because although it will probably pass, it is disturbing my life and quality of it. I've gone down the line in my mind to figure it out (with the help of posters on this thread and my own mind)- Am I over worked- maybe, is it my M.S.- maybe, is consciousness tired of existing as "me"?- maybe, Am I depressed- I don't think so, is it my medications?- maybe, is it part of self realization?- maybe, do I have the winter blues?- maybe, Am I resisting the flow of life?- at this point probably, Am I sad?- I don't know.....

So, I'm left with a big question mark However, this thread has helped because instead of whining about it anymore, I now will just accept it as part of this "now" experience and try to stop resisting so much and take care of myself.

Thanks to all!

[Enlightened2B]

I haven't really been following much with this thread, but read through some of the posts. The body goes through physical changes and it might have nothing to do with spirituality or anything really involving the mind. Could the body just be sick? I see you talk of low energy. Of course, it could be any of a million array of things, but how do you know that what you are experiencing is not perhaps a symptom of something going on with your body physically? Allergies? Diet wise? Nutrition perhaps? Spirituality is just a concept in itself. How do you know that what you are describing is not manifesting as a symptom within your physical body?

The human body is an INCREDIBLE organism when you understand how it works and the mind/body is directly related, meaning stress created by identifying with thinking almost always translates to physical problems in the body. I know this first hand because I have a chronic illness with my GI tract where stress causes flare ups that will bring me to the depths of hell. This is why meditation is scientifically proven to have incredible health benefits on the brain and the rest of the physical body.

So, if you talk of low energy, it can really be any of a number of things.

Just something to consider perhaps.

[rodriguez_88]

You keep identifying with the body, subtly, through statements such as,

I'm married and have family. I have done self inquiry

I know who I am, but still there is an underlying feeling of being tired of experiencing, tired of living this body/mind experience, because although I know that from the ultimate perspective I'm not this body/mind, consciousness which I am, is still having to experience from this perspective called "Diana".

Does awareness get tired? Does it identify with anything other than itself? If you had arrived at the understanding of who you truly were and had 'finished' self-inquiry, don't you think that you would have the clarity of knowing you truly never did self-inquiry in the first place?