Open relationships

A place for anything that doesn't fit into the existing forums
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Re: Open relationships

Post by Lazypoet » Mon Aug 25, 2014 3:47 pm

Yes yes yes ! Thank you Jack and Alex from two different points of view.

I do feel porn has become more and more easily available as computers are better and more enriched with HD quality, porn is practically free and porn actors look better and better with a physique that most men would dream of.

And even more so, gay porn has become the most popular porn in the world with the hottest men in the world.

Sounds like a dream, right?

But what about when you wake up and jerk off for an hour in stead of going out. Small stuff like this annoys me..

The feeling that it takes me away from life. A feeling like im missing out on stuff because porn is demanding my attention.

And then in my relationship when im in one room with the computer and my boyfriend is in the other.

It must be taken under control.

Porn is a force that renders most men powerless.

Me, let's say two times a day at most these days, but i've heard of men doing it five times a day.

The times when I used to do that I was so drained off energy that I stayed inside the whole day.

This is an honest post but i prefer to tell the truth.


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Re: Open relationships

Post by KathleenBrugger » Tue Aug 26, 2014 3:59 pm

crsnja wrote:I don't see how porn can be spiritual, It is the depiction of form completely devoided of any substance. It litteraly turns human beings into objects. It is almost always about degrading and humiliating women and making it sexual. Imo, this is probably one of the strongest illustration of the deeply disfonctionnal nature of the ego.

Now, I'm pretty sure it's possible to make some porn that is less ego & more spiritual... It probably wouldn't be called pornography though, as it means "depiction of the pornae", pornaes were the sex slaves in Ancient Greece...
Porn seems that way to me also, a cold objectification of the human experience. I don't find most of it a turn-on because there is a lack of authenticity, imo. I think porn is a consequence of the fact that our societies are so hung up about sex. If in the future we grow up and integrate our sexuality into our beings fully, including being part of our spirituality, I think an erotica could emerge that is spiritual, emotionally expressive, and an artistic expression of what it is to be human.

I'm out of the dating loop so I don't know from experience what it's like being with people raised on exposure to internet porn (when my husband and I were young, men had to slink into X-rated movie theaters in the shady part of town), but I have heard some cautionary tales that some of the basic elements of porn are distorting real-world relationships. Men who watch a lot of porn have expectations that real women want the things they see in the video, and as a result there can be a lot of frustration and disappointment. Watch this TED talk, "Make Love not Porn" for a woman's description of her experience. WARNING: explicit language ( doesn't post it on their site because of the language.)
We are ALL Innocent by Reason of Insanity

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Re: Open relationships

Post by alex » Mon Mar 02, 2015 2:14 am

I feel I had to come back to this thread and clarify something. I believe that the desire to explore other sexual relationships was completely egoic on my part. It wasn't really about having to bend the rules or 'get amongst' life. Just pure desire and wanting to attach to things (or people) to feel good.
It's beautiful riding out these waves in life and watching as they slowly dissolve back into nothingness. I see it was a huge call to sit with desire and question the beliefs around relationship.
The reward for self enquiry is much much greater than the results of following desire and being ignorant to our true motivations. I am left sitting contently in the vastness of this beautiful moment.

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Re: Open relationships

Post by Lazypoet » Mon Sep 07, 2015 1:14 pm

This thread is extremely interesting to me. Last time I posted on this topic, I spoke strongly against open relationships. I don't know when I posted here, it must be more than a year ago now.

The person who initially wanted one realised she didn't,

And I who was against it kind of went into one.

Now I am out of that again.

It kind of shows you the fact that life throws things at you when you least expect it.


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