Beyond Shame - the power of vulnerability - Brene Brown

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Enlightened2B
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Re: Beyond Shame - the power of vulnerability - Brene Brown

Post by Enlightened2B » Mon Dec 08, 2014 6:45 pm

Thanks Jen for making me think now :wink:

What you're describing as grace, is exactly what I would describe as mere Energy itself, Love itself, existence itself, What IS itself, AMness itself, Being itself, the grandest perspective of totality which is where I see objectivity. Being itself is Being. What is merely IS. This is objectivity to me. But, even considering the What IS is a co-creation of perspectives from any and every potential form and non form, that really only leaves Energy itself/I AM itself/Being itself, Absolute unconditional Love as the only Objectivity. Objective in the sense that it IS.....what it IS. Beyond the subjectivity of our co-creation, what IS, merely IS.

I don't know what a butterfly's experience is, because I haven't experienced it myself (likely will in my life review). What I meant in the last post was that, because of the human conditioning, even the most intense letting go is perhaps still somewhat limited (from OUR limited perspective)because, in humanness, we still only grasp part of the picture or maybe that's just my own limited take. Even the most awakened teacher/guru, likely has some sort of coloring to their perspective which for me, takes away any chance of actually perceiving in a strictly objective manner while in human form. We are Being, being human. We are the unlimited experiencing via the limited. I think we (humanness) can become more and more....and more.....unlimited and more aligned with a higher vibration itself, by the more we allow in our experience and the less we define, conceptualize and label and therefore put into a cubbyhole and the more we let go. Maybe that itself is Grace. But, we still don't have the full picture. Meaning.....
Oftentimes it just happens in unawareness and it is just gorgeous, but when it happens in awareness, when that butterfly flaps its wing knowingly.... when that butterfly knows it will create a tsunami on the other side of the earth - have 'impact' far beyond anything as insignificant as the players in it - it is still, and can be known by, its absolute objectivity.

Think about it, a butterfly that knows that the flap of its wing will create a tsunami on the other side of the world - --

how could it hold onto any subjectivity and flap its wing? (assuming the butterfly is not a rampant sociopath of course lol!!)
The question is, can a butterfly know its impact in the same way.....can a human know its impact on the larger scheme of things while still in humanness? Maybe it can and I just haven't realized this yet. I don't know.

That's just my take

Thank you for the fart references. Totally up my alley, especially for humor. 8)

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smiileyjen101
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Re: Beyond Shame - the power of vulnerability - Brene Brown

Post by smiileyjen101 » Tue Dec 09, 2014 12:27 am

The question is, can a butterfly know its impact in the same way.....can a human know its impact on the larger scheme of things while still in humanness? Maybe it can and I just haven't realized this yet. I don't know.
More later, but short answer ---yes and no :lol:

And it's getting over that that creates the experience.

One can know that one is moving / allowing / participating, without knowing 'what' it is participating in, and being okay with knowing that there naturally will be, cannot not be, multitudes of 'outcomes' none of which are the totality of it.

Knowing this and still participating - that's the pee tingly feeling.
Last edited by smiileyjen101 on Tue Dec 09, 2014 11:28 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Our rights start deep within our humanity; they end where another's begin~~ SmileyJen
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kafi
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Re: Beyond Shame - the power of vulnerability - Brene Brown

Post by kafi » Tue Dec 09, 2014 1:05 pm

Jen,
Thanks for sharing the links . I have come across the vulnerability video before. But I didn’t know about the text about her reaction to her TEDx video.

This vulnerability thing is a big problem for me, too. What I found amazing was how the universe coaxed me along the way to share.
The first thing was the breathing trouble because I refused to share. Clogged throat chakra.
Then I had several dreams that made it clear to me that to go on a forum now is the right way forward.

Afterwards, I came across the TEDx talk on vulnerability.

And in one forum, a link was posted to the blog of autistic girl Carly. That seemed to say, “See? Some cannot communicate . And they are so glad if they finally can share and can overcome isolation. Being able to communicate is such a gift, don’t you see? Why don’t you use it? “
http://carlysvoice.com/home/aboutcarly/

It was a comfort to read through accounts of people who had gone through the same phase. Carrie Triffet’s first few blog posts from 2009 and her book ( long time no see). http://carrietriffet.com/carrieblog/?paged=7
(Btw, she has had many paranormal experiences of seeing ghosts and of time and space playing tricks on her . Maybe you are interested in her story.)

Or Gary Renard (author of Dissappearance of the Universe) was very shy , too, before he had to come out of hiding.

Someone recommended to me the bestselling book by Sonia Sotomayor. And she, too, had to come to terms with vulnerability.

Then, there were all your encouraging comments on this forum.

I found that I always learned a lot if people share their real life anecdotes. I was always grateful if they did so.
But that meant that I had to do so as well.

Except , there was still fear.

Recently , I silently decided not to manifest too many opportunities for sharing any more since I found it so uncomfortable to overcome my fear each time. But then I got a strong backache end of October. And the inner voice let me know that this was because I refused to share. And this voice wanted me to start a blog.

Oh no ! Not a blog ! The problem is, in Germany we are obliged to put the address in the legal disclosure. !&%”$(!
English speaking countries don’t have this law. There isn’t even a proper English translation for the German word “Impressum”.

But, if the inner voice says, ‘I want you to write a blog’ , then I better obey.


Another one of the universe’s hints was the story of
the stubborn baby tooth.
My son had a new tooth coming through , already fully emerged. But the old baby tooth was still dangling there. It couldn’t be pulled out. For two months (!), he had two teeth in the same spot. This sort of mirrored my clinging to anonymity.

Evetually, I created the blog – even though it felt like having to jump from a high building , not knowing whether I am able to fly.
Just two days after I made the blog publicly available, the baby tooth , which had been dangling there for 2 months, eventually fell out.


Jen,
do you struggle with this vulnerability issue? Does it come up when you work on your books?
I hope to be able to read your book some day.

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Re: Beyond Shame - the power of vulnerability - Brene Brown

Post by smiileyjen101 » Wed Dec 10, 2014 12:16 am

Kafi asked: Jen,
do you struggle with this vulnerability issue? Does it come up when you work on your books?
I hope to be able to read your book some day.
Gawd I wanna hug you for going straight to the heart of it Kafi - why do you think they are not out there yet?

(Edit: not when I work on them - not when I'm 'in'/am them, only when/if I step outside of that creative process).
The absolute honesty of Dr Brown's second Ted talk endeared me no end. I love how process and content get all mixed in together.

And like you, the universe not just nudges, but shoves sometimes, blocks off all other avenues and gets very creative - it's not beyond me to sit on my backside bemoaning ... why me? but I cannot not hear the balancing 'why not you?' grrrr.

Absolutely and it's not the 'you're not good enough', heaven knows my entire life has been honing the goods - the content is impersonal, and I absolutely know it's not about me - so it's not that - --- but very much it is getting passed the 'who do you think you are?' On a relative level.

The 'fear' of success, (when you know ultimately there is no such thing) is just as debilitating as the fear of failure (when you ultimately know there is no such thing).

As Dr Brown said she used to be frustrated about her work not getting 'out there' and getting any recognition - but ultimately we want the recognition to be focussed on the work - the ideas - not the person. The struggle is with it being attributed to by us. In the past things might be shared 'anonymously', but these days you know you're going to get found --- outed and then the 'ideas' get mixed in with personal judgements etc

I always remember the fuss when Lobsang T Rampa was 'outed' as a taxi driver in London - not the Tibetan monk of his musings and ideas. The ideas got completely forgotten in favour of hysteria about the 'person'. Just silly, the ideas were as wise before he was 'found' as they were after - who he was and what he was doing in his 'normal' life had very little to do with it. Most don't really understand that though.

So yes, folks do hold off and wait for someone more 'worthy' to express the ideas. Although it's not really 'worthy', it's able to withstand the distortions of the ideas. We don't want the ideas 'tainted' by association with a persona of us.

I've even kind of consciously watched this in others - how do they deal with it. Even watching Neale Donald Walsch squirm like a little boy and make self deprecating jokes all the time in his presentations was a curiosity for me. ET squirms too, the Dalai Lama not so much the persona comes in and out. For me the one person who disappeared and took me with him into his ideas almost wordlessly, purely energetically, was/is Don Miguel Ruiz. But then I wonder if we're just on the same 'wave-length'.

I've said privately and publicly here that when the ideas of things are redirected into the personal, I've got no leg to stand on, because the focus is not on the personal --- for me.

The things I share of, are experiences that have flowed through me, and the 'ideas' wisdom borne of experience. They both flow through me and wash over me and some of them stick and some I share - but it's not really about 'me' - any more than Dr Brown sharing the stuff in the original Ted talk was 'about her', but yes in the aftermath the notion of not wanting folks to think it was about 'her', or that she even thought that it was, she freaked. That text btw, is the transcript of her second Ted talk so it's available as a video too.

The brilliance of the Ted talks is that they are about the ideas, not the personalities, that's why they are so wonderful, it's the sharing, the stage for the sharing about the ideas - the personalities are secondary to the ideas.

It was interesting for me that a friend who has always been in harmony with Anthony Robbins' ideas, became annoyed, irritated and kind of left the Tony train after a Ted talk that he did where he ran into other people's time. The 'time' thing is an agreed limitation in that format one of the few limitations - one idea follows another in strict time constraints.

Dr Brown mentions in one of her talks that she would like to go into more detail on an aspect of an idea, but that it would take other people's time - Tony didn't do that he just kept going with his idea (I tend to attribute over-enthusiasm, my friend wonders about selfishness and disregard for the 'rules' applying to him). So in this example my friend is saying not Who do you think you are? about his ideas - but something - his lack of 'convention' within the Ted field - triggered her to think of him .... Who do you think you are? personally. And in doing so, completely disengaged with the ideas.

She doesn't doubt the credibility of his ideas, but she still brought it down to the 'personal' level, on one level. When she now thinks about that Ted talk she has no idea WHAT he was talking about.

And that's the sort of thing that Dr Brown agonised over after the first Ted talk.

But as in all things, the 'content' of the idea washes into the 'process' of the idea that is being expressed. What is expressed becomes experienced. Dr Brown felt the 'shame' of her own vulnerability, and Tony Robbins - espouser of extremely effective time management, self control, communication and relational harmony ... well I guess we'd have to ask him the personal after effect of him going over 'time' in his talk - the message of his talk for some has been lost because of the focus on the personal & inter-relational aspects. One cannot really separate one from the other, and that's why only a sociopath does not experience the 'shame' in 'vulnerability' experiences. (only through lack of awareness and capacity).

My friend is now wondering about Tony :wink:

We're all a 'work in progress' and experiences in process.

I don't see the vulnerability as a problem though - it reminds me I am having the full experience of being human.
Our rights start deep within our humanity; they end where another's begin~~ SmileyJen
http://www.balancinginfluences.com

Phil2
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Re: Beyond Shame - the power of vulnerability - Brene Brown

Post by Phil2 » Wed Dec 10, 2014 11:50 am

smiileyjen101 wrote: I always remember the fuss when Lobsang T Rampa was 'outed' as a taxi driver in London - not the Tibetan monk of his musings and ideas. The ideas got completely forgotten in favour of hysteria about the 'person'. Just silly, the ideas were as wise before he was 'found' as they were after - who he was and what he was doing in his 'normal' life had very little to do with it. Most don't really understand that though.

So yes, folks do hold off and wait for someone more 'worthy' to express the ideas. Although it's not really 'worthy', it's able to withstand the distortions of the ideas. We don't want the ideas 'tainted' by association with a persona of us.
Yes it is clear that there is a need to give credit to ideas by examining the messenger ... instead of looking at the message itself ... we can see it here in this forum and elsewhere too, where posters are often questioned about their personal identity and background, instead of looking at what they express ... I think this is a mistake and it leads to all kinds of conflicts too, 'authorities' fighting each other in egos clashes ... we need to discuss about the ideas and not about WHO says it ...

This happens mainly in the intellectual realm but less in the artistic field, generally one does not judge a piece of art by the identity of the artist, but by the 'product' itself, if it is beautiful and inspires us, no need to ask about the artist's identity and philosophical background or artistic/intellectual credibility ...

As for Lobsang Rampa, it has been my very first encounter with spirituality some 50 years ago (I still don't know how and why this book "The Third Eye" 'came' to me), and I remember that I really loved the book and read it again some years ago with pleasure ... the Dalai Lama himself finally admitted that even if the book was a literature fiction, it had a good influence for Tibet notoriety in the West ... maybe today one would say that this book had been 'channeled', which in some sense is what happens when an artist produces any piece of art ... artsists themselves often say that art passes through them, as if it all came from somewhere outside themselves ... this is called 'inspiration' ...

Therefore indeed it is quite useless to focus on the messenger ... let us look at WHAT is said and not WHO says it ... not making things personal ... (btw DM Ruiz 2nd Agreement :) )
"What irritates us about others is an opportunity to learn on ourselves"
(Carl Jung)

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Re: Beyond Shame - the power of vulnerability - Brene Brown

Post by Onceler » Wed Dec 10, 2014 12:50 pm

I agree with you in theory, Phil, you make a good point about the message, but fundamentally disagree about sharing personal experiences. Perhaps this leads to conflicts and 'ego' difficulties, but by far the most touching, potent, illuminating posts on this forum (for me) are honest, personal accounts of the effects of both subtle and monumental changes in the life of the poster.

Hands down, I'd much rather read about how ET's teachings, for example, affected a personal human nervous system than read more spiritual platitudes and vague, generalized 'whisper down the lane' notions of canned spirituality. This may just be a personal preference, but I think it's shared by many others and I believe personal experiences can be discussed without getting all 'personal' in a negative way. Narrative, or ones 'story' gets a negative rap in spiritual circles, however I believe it can also be the vehicle, is the vehicle, for change in oneself and others. We are in this together. We are one. This includes our stories which can amplify and synergize our growth as a group.

We've really got to find a way to express what is happening to us, not just with like-minded people but to all we meet. Language and narrative is the connective tissue of the human organism. It fills the synaptic spaces between our bodies. Perhaps discussing personal things is an egoic pitfall, but I would add that not discussing personal experiences is also an egoic pitfall. We have to come out from behind our egnimatic, beautific smiles that we hope transmit, I've got a secret, I know the juice of life, and be real and find a way to engage with our fellow human beings and find a way to articulate what is happening to us.....these mysterious transformative things that are not just ours to lock away but are meant to be shared, to be put through that alchemy of discoursive back and forth that shapes our experience and broadens our perspective.
Be present, be pleasant.

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Re: Beyond Shame - the power of vulnerability - Brene Brown

Post by kafi » Wed Dec 10, 2014 5:07 pm

Jen,
Thanks for your response. Yes, I was suspecting that the reason your books are not out there yet might have something to do with this. You mentioned previously that you needed to gain some more confidence.
I understand that completely. Same for me, too.

I want to share two more things that crossed my way that seemed like they were meant to encourage me ( and I hope they will encourage you, too):
ET talk : What's a day like in the life of Eckhart?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2wNO3hlo7Yc
Here , he shares that he likes his privacy. But that giving up privacy has to be surrendered to.

And the book Your Soul’s Plan by Robert Schwartz , about how we plan life challenges prior to incarnation.
There, one of the spirit guides says that leaving our accumulated wisdom for fellow travelers ( as a book or in some other form) , that this is the prerequisite for graduation from the earth plane.

Oh!

Oookaaay , since I find that incarnation sucks at times ( see example of backache ) , I better get my act together and write what I have been told to do. Oherwise, I’ll have to come back. And this would be even worse than giving up my privacy.

This is also addressed in Jayem’s poem ‘Heavy Laden’ : http://www.wayofmastery.com/jayem/blog/3734.html

Writing on this forum was useful for me in summer. It was great to gain confidence in sharing and writing .
But now, I realize it has become somewhat of a distraction. Sort of an excuse to procrastinate.

And, yes, the universe is not always nudging gently. It is also pushing, shoving, pulling. I am always amazed at the higher power behind the scenes with that will and intelligence which is so much superior to my own. I feel very humbled by this force. Often, after acting up, I bow my head and whisper, ‘Ok. I got it. Thy will be done.’ Especially in times of physical pain.

Now, you said you cannot hear the response of ‘Why not you?’

Therefore, I will ask you , “Why not you?”

You have many wonderful stories to tell. The story of the vanished baptism water. The three man in the van ( who vanished as well) . The stone circle where you heard the music. Your many encounters with deceased ones. Your NDE . Many stories that let us know that reality is not as solid as it seems.

I send you an encouraging hug ( - let's form the club 'PA' , Procrastinators Anonymous) .

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Re: Beyond Shame - the power of vulnerability - Brene Brown

Post by smiileyjen101 » Wed Dec 10, 2014 11:32 pm

Phil said: we need to discuss about the ideas and not about WHO says it ...
I couldn't agree more Phil, we take our eye off the ball.

The Third Eye was one of my teenage reads too, and I think I even read a few more and it was this --- the ideas not the man that hit me then - and I guess it's playing out still.
maybe today one would say that this book had been 'channeled', which in some sense is what happens when an artist produces any piece of art ... artists themselves often say that art passes through them, as if it all came from somewhere outside themselves ... this is called 'inspiration' ...

In that case :idea: - all of life is 'channelled' when one gets over their sense of 'self' or is not focussed on it, even in the state of vulnerable, that's what authenticity is.

To go beyond vulnerable without ignoring it, or making enemy, obstacle, means to an end yadda yadda
- feel the fear and do it anyway really, one does drop the cloaks of individuation and channel immense energy in authenticity - without cloaks or excuses or ownership etc.

Knowing there is no hero or villain and no need for punishment and/or reward or personalised attention - the 'miracle' is enough - the 'miracle' is just anything we didn't seek/know/ yet experience.

We've moved so far from authenticity in materialism and 'ownership' and individualism - no thing is created on its own and no credit or blame can (really) be taken or bestowed for doing so.

For me it's a bit niggly-off like me hearing the Priest say that I believed in the loving God of his beliefs. The more we skew the degrees of aim in an arrow in our bow, the more widely 'off target' it will go when it flies. Just is - physics lol! When someone does draw the attention to the 'person' the arrow wobbles no end and usually loses its momentum.

I can well understand the logistics of Lobsang T Rampa's work coming out as it did, to say it was channelled in those days it likely would have been less read, and less people exposed to the ideas in it. While the ideas have been 'absorbed' fluently, the process of the individual experience is less so, it's still 'niggling'.
Our rights start deep within our humanity; they end where another's begin~~ SmileyJen
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Re: Beyond Shame - the power of vulnerability - Brene Brown

Post by smiileyjen101 » Wed Dec 10, 2014 11:38 pm

Onceler said: We've really got to find a way to express what is happening to us, not just with like-minded people but to all we meet. Language and narrative is the connective tissue of the human organism. It fills the synaptic spaces between our bodies. Perhaps discussing personal things is an egoic pitfall, but I would add that not discussing personal experiences is also an egoic pitfall. We have to come out from behind our egnimatic, beautific smiles that we hope transmit, I've got a secret, I know the juice of life, and be real and find a way to engage with our fellow human beings and find a way to articulate what is happening to us.....these mysterious transformative things that are not just ours to lock away but are meant to be shared, to be put through that alchemy of discoursive back and forth that shapes our experience and broadens our perspective.
I think that's what the Ted talks achieve Onceler, while the 'idea' is central, most of them do share the personal tale that energised the entity to share it. I think in this the energy behind the Barefoot College ideas, the energy in Dr Jill's A stroke of genius talk, and indeed the authenticity/vulnerability in Dr Brown's talk.

Can't wait to see you get up there :D

The absolutely no shame me would want to do it naked :lol: but that probably really would distract folks :lol:
Our rights start deep within our humanity; they end where another's begin~~ SmileyJen
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Re: Beyond Shame - the power of vulnerability - Brene Brown

Post by smiileyjen101 » Thu Dec 11, 2014 12:18 am

Kafi said: Now, you said you cannot hear the response of ‘Why not you?’

Therefore, I will ask you , “Why not you?”
Apologies Kafi, I think I used a double negative and it got missed in the process.

I said I cannot NOT hear the 'Why not you?' One intrinsically comes with the other, they are two sides of the same coin, no matter what we are referring to... why/why not. Easy to do, easy not to do.

We are living in a material world and the vehicles of sharing these days are overlaid with the material, one really can't get away from it.

Your post made me think though - maybe they need an agent, (not me now, I've moved on already) they will likely need an agent. I don't think one can be both totally authentic and totally materialistic at the same time. Which is why most artists thrive with a patron/agent/manager looking after the material aspects.

When I was singing it mattered not to me where or when or in front of how many I was singing, it was just about the 'song', the music to me - just an incredible opportunity to join with others and let rip and be the music. At the time I did have a manager (egotistical and materialistic ---- just perfect for the role!!). I literally had no idea of anything that was going on around me except this present moment, dress me up, trot me out, open ears to the music, my mouth to sing... and disappear. Whether I was singing in front of 25000 people or sitting in a meadow singing with the wind. It was only others who put any material aspects over it. I just went along with the ride. Realistically I did eat, sleep, and participate in the material world, but it truly was more being in the world, not of the world.


That's what happens in creative process of any authenticity, we just flow on the expression of ideas, then we wake up and say ... what? you want to put material value and logistics on this, really? What does one have to do with the other? Oh yes, in fact I do need to eat food... hmm - can't you just throw me some every now and again? Only half joking, when I get in the flow I forget, even to eat.

My Dad told me once that he used to just walk around behind me picking up pieces of paper with poems or stories or journal entries or whatever - and loved them as a vehicle to connect with deep layers of the ideas and the expressing. By the time he was talking about them I had no idea what he was talking about, it just was, in the moment expressing. But then that moment of his expressing was ... from his authentic heart to mine... just gorgeous in itself.

I would dump a load of song lyrics on muso friends and they'd just take what they wanted and do with it whatever they wanted; some of their (the songs) journeys were hilarious - like birthing a child as a surrogate and then watching that child grow in someone else's family, but also knowing the elements of the conception and the pregnancy - the inspirations for them, that the new parents did not know, could not know (and at times have to bite one's tongue to not upset the assumptions).

That's kind of how I feel about my authentic experiences too - really... can't we all just be authentic, then we'll know and experience the sort of experiences available to us and we can just share of them equally. .... which is kind of what internet forums do I guess.

Ah authenticity :D
Our rights start deep within our humanity; they end where another's begin~~ SmileyJen
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Re: Beyond Shame - the power of vulnerability - Brene Brown

Post by kafi » Thu Dec 11, 2014 2:09 pm

Ooops! Apologies, Jen. You really did you use a double negation. I realize that I have to read more carefully.

I like your description of the creative process. Wonderful. You have been living that all your life.

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Re: Beyond Shame - the power of vulnerability - Brene Brown

Post by smiileyjen101 » Fri Dec 12, 2014 12:04 am

Kafi said: I like your description of the creative process. Wonderful. You have been living that all your life.
So much inspiration in this musing Kafi :D
Why / Why not? Easy to do, easy not to.

We all are (and everything is) a creative process. We just pretend that we're not and get confused in our role playing.

Ages ago there were jokes about a movie where a character playing an audience member (observer role) got all caught up in the role of another character playing an actor role, and folks were laughing about how seriously he was taking the acting, but in order for them to engage with that in their own 'observer role', they had to be taking his character seriously too. It is funny, it is holographic or whatever those things are that replicate and replicate and replicate ad infinitum. The content and process are inextricably entwined.

What is will (cannot not) evolve in our experience by the mere noticing and expressing of it.

What will be - is -
eg: you will not be able to not open your attention to details awareness and capacity - it will be - is - merely by the noticing and acceptance and then expression of willingness energy even in this tiny statement of truth -

"I realize that I have to read more carefully."

A seemingly tiny flap of a butterfly's wing will create / already has created the 'tsunami' that is the process and the content of real-izing - bringing into form.

You've creatively connected and expressed in the dance of energies in your thoughts, in your heart, in your words the awareness and capacity and the willingness - so off it goes to who knows where or how or why or whatever ---- just is ---- set free to be. Your awareness and attention to details has by your awareness, capacity and willingness just grown.

Resistance to it, had an egoic overlay taken over or fear of shame or whatever would have made the creative 'birthing' and 'growing' process more sticky, the stuff we agonise over. But you didn't, you made a tiny mistake that skewed understanding to a degree and by grace and love you let it be and embraced it. For me that's all that living a 'creative' life is. Not really about you and me - we're just the holes in the flute - or the instrument of being, we allow and pour our joy (or our angst, or our sorrow or whatever) into the creative process.

There's a word - one that when I heard it, tasted it, smelled and felt it, shivered me timbers to the core :D
'neoteny' - mature but maintaining child-like qualities / or from Science Daily
"Neoteny is the retention, by adults in a species, of traits previously seen only in juveniles (pedomorphosis/paedomorphosis)"

Mostly it's used in biology - but goodness when I fell on it and it touched me it was soooo delicious - cos if folks, as some had been, asked me 'how can you be so you' I'd be able to say 'oh, it's okay, it's just neoteny' (nothing to get all worried or awe struck about) I had a 'word' like the lady in Eat Pray Love talked about :lol:

So here I am, at work, in the middle of the office, dancing around humming and singing "I've found my word... " (yep like a five year old :wink: ) and my colleagues were laughing and loving it when I told them and rolling it around on their tongues and in their brains, and then we had to settle down for a meeting --- this is 'serious business' now :wink: and everyone's still got big grins on their faces and tickles in their tummies and someone who hadn't been in the main office walked and asked ... What's up? :lol: Of course they do this is serious business remember :evil:
And everyone burst out laughing and said "Jen's found her word". So this genius of creative energy is sitting next to me and turns and says: "Okay, so what is it?" Absolutely dead pan serious - he comes across as a more quiet, and absolutely adorable genius. I smile big and say "Neoteny - it means 'Mature, but retaining child-like qualities" :D :D :D :D :D he takes less than a nanosecond, did not miss a beat and says 'How can that be your word?' and I start listing all the child-like qualities and he's got a dead pan face, shaking his head and says "Yeh, but where does the 'mature' come into it?"
Everyone squealed with laughter - and then again as I slapped him on the arm in mock disgust and then he too quietly giggled. He has neoteny of his own you see, we all do.

Any time anyone tells me to 'grow up' or be more mature I just laugh --- I can try, but I can't guarantee anything :lol: If anyone has any expectations on that front, sorry, I'm bound to disappoint them. :wink:

On a more serious note, I'm watching my adorable little grand daughter wrestle with the early onslaught of the warm washes of shame, so the Ted talk was enlightening on a lot of levels. I must have asked - opened myself to a question-answer that I didn't even know on one level that I was musing, and the inspiration - that flap of the butterflies wing led to the tsunami that is this awareness.... just is.. or as my little grand-daughter would say 'Cos'.

E2B said: It's easier to do nothing and be in your comfort zones, than to do something, even helping another, if it means leaving yourself vulnerable.
Easy to do, easy not to.
Our rights start deep within our humanity; they end where another's begin~~ SmileyJen
http://www.balancinginfluences.com

kafi
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Re: Beyond Shame - the power of vulnerability - Brene Brown

Post by kafi » Fri Dec 12, 2014 10:52 pm

Congratulations on having found your word , Jen.
I love the story about sharing this in the office. Hope it will be included in the book.

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smiileyjen101
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Re: Beyond Shame - the power of vulnerability - Brene Brown

Post by smiileyjen101 » Sat Dec 13, 2014 1:30 am

Kafi said: Congratulations on having found your word , Jen.
I love the story about sharing this in the office. Hope it will be included in the book.
It's also sharing/shared here Kafi Was shared/is shared. (always is, always was)

If there is no book, if there is no thing outside of this moment this is enough. (isn't it?)

If someone else is 'meant' to trip over it, if someone opens them self to the idea, I think they will whether it's in my sharing, our sharing, someone else's sharing - I think they cannot not because anything we open ourselves to already is.

I think all the things we 'trip over' /'find' are the same - Phil not knowing how he came to have The Third Eye in his hand - it just materialised through cause and effect spider-webbing along the connections until such time as it was in his hand.

Imagine if you were a passenger in Lobsang T Rampa's cab, a conversation arose and someone said, that's a great idea - you should write a book so he wrote the book, people got their knickers in a knot because a cab driver with an 'idea' wrote a book from inside the perspective of the idea, and they could then only see the cab driver. Too weird.

I find stuff just finds me and I just find them - people and experiences included. But then there are times when it truly is like I'm being kicked out of Eden. Not because I'm doing anything 'wrong', but in order to.... have a distinction of separation in experience.

Maybe that's what ET talks about being in presence and in the material world, maybe he just goes more quietly than me :| (cos he's all grown up) Otherwise he too would be a recluse, and he's not.

Okay you, you've played around long enough. Get thy backside back to the material world ---kick --- tumble tumble tumble, bruised, dazed and confused... and then I start to climb back up Jack's beanstalk again..... :wink:

Oh WAIT!!! :idea: What if it was nothing to do with the apple, what the snake did was just being a snake, what Eve did was just being Eve - .. the fall from grace was not about 'us' --- we were kicked so allness could experience 'stuff' less maturely/awarely than itself (?)

In that case, no matter what we're doing/being, we're doing/being a stellar job and a service to everything.

Maybe it is not possible (within our 'design') to just play here as if permanently still in the garden of Eden?

Do we? If not why not? (and I guess 'cos' is one 'acceptable' answer lol!!)

I sooo think it's a bang on question in authenticity and that 'vulnerability' and 'shame' will filter in, but I'm not sure how. Why do we have the cloaks of ego etc ... what does it bring to the 'all' that we do experience it?
Last edited by smiileyjen101 on Sat Dec 13, 2014 1:55 am, edited 1 time in total.
Our rights start deep within our humanity; they end where another's begin~~ SmileyJen
http://www.balancinginfluences.com

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smiileyjen101
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Re: Beyond Shame - the power of vulnerability - Brene Brown

Post by smiileyjen101 » Sat Dec 13, 2014 1:50 am

:idea: We are here to shake it up, as much as we are to be shook up.

We are here to be the butterfly flapping its wing, as much as we are to experience the tsunami.

Whether we are aware of it, or not.

So then, the pee tingly feeling - the same, the 'separation' is because we know it is not 'us' per se.
Our rights start deep within our humanity; they end where another's begin~~ SmileyJen
http://www.balancinginfluences.com

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