How do you give yourself unconditional love?

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blissrunn14
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How do you give yourself unconditional love?

Post by blissrunn14 » Sun Feb 08, 2015 1:56 am

How does someone give themselves unconditional love? What is it exactly and how does someone give themself unconditional love for real, not just in belief?
Last edited by blissrunn14 on Sun Feb 08, 2015 2:24 am, edited 1 time in total.

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smiileyjen101
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Re: How do you give yourself undconditional love?

Post by smiileyjen101 » Sun Feb 08, 2015 2:22 am

Oh gosh bliss - just that heading lit my heart with joy :D
Merely by 'allowing' it.

Allowing it to touch us in the core of who we really are.
Allowing it to guide and steer us in what truly is.
Allowing ourselves to be one with in, are, is.

It's ineffable and intangible so 'instructions' or 'guides' are likely to be misinterpreted.

An exercise might be to, with all the deepest possible reverence and attention, make a pact with oneself as one would in a wedding ceremony where the highest of love is brought as a guiding light.

To love oneself is to treat oneself with honour, respect, and dignity.

Define what those things are for you - how they manifest and how they are 'broken'.

To love oneself is to forgive our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.
To love oneself is to honour our values, respect our being, and dignify our presence.

What vows would you write or utter in promise in a total communion with / acceptance of, your self?
Our rights start deep within our humanity; they end where another's begin~~ SmileyJen
http://www.balancinginfluences.com

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Webwanderer
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Re: How do you give yourself unconditional love?

Post by Webwanderer » Sun Feb 08, 2015 3:23 am

An effective path to unconditional love is through appreciation. The problem of course when it comes to self, is all the self-judgment and condemnation we are conditioned with. Still, to the degree you feel appreciation you feel unconditional love. Do not confuse it with gratitude. Gratitude is different.

Appreciation carries with it a sense of giving - giving with joy and without qualification. In other words, unconditionally. It's unlikely that one can hold a sense of appreciation uninterrupted while in this human form. That said, one can enjoy moments of appreciation, clear and joyful, many times during one's day. It helps to find alignment with one's true nature which is always in a state of unconditional love. In truth you cannot feel unconditional love apart from your true nature.

Our true nature is just that - our true nature. So unconditional love does not have to be created. It already is our essence. However, human life is an exploration of a unique environment where one can experience the sense of individuality and separation. And as we all know this human experience can be quite challenging. Just finding a balance between our human perspective and our true nature is to find joy in life. Appreciating every step along the way is a path worth exploring.

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Re: How do you give yourself unconditional love?

Post by EternalPrize » Sun Feb 08, 2015 7:51 pm

As I perceive it, worrying about giving ourselves "love" is removing love from our lives.

Friday morning, I woke up. I had planned to "be present" Thursday night, but wasted time on the internet instead and fell asleep without meditating for even 2 minutes. Upon waking I instantly thought about this, and felt bad. Immediately following that, I felt that my mind had conceptualized a picture of what had happened the night before. Why did it focus on my lack of meditating, rather than anything else that happened that night? This is how the mind creates suffering. I smiled and went on with my day. It's hard to explain what I mean by this, but my organism is waking up to the fact that it is enslaving itself into the conceptual world into which it brings its focus, which can really take over its life.

And for all that to drop... and for this conceptual tool to operate within something silent and stable, goes so beyond words....

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Re: How do you give yourself unconditional love?

Post by blissrunn14 » Sun Feb 08, 2015 8:09 pm

I have always been severely judgmental and hard on myself. I'm beginning to see this has been my downfall. How does someone who does not, learn how to love and forgive themself.

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Re: How do you give yourself unconditional love?

Post by blissrunn14 » Sun Feb 08, 2015 8:14 pm

ha I think I may have just gotten my answer. Watch, embrace and be aware of myself and all the stuff I do without indulging my opinions about it all. If I ignore my thoughts about how horrible I am, I'm not all that horrible ha ha. I just saw that :-)

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Re: How do you give yourself unconditional love?

Post by Webwanderer » Sun Feb 08, 2015 8:45 pm

blissrunn14 wrote:I have always been severely judgmental and hard on myself. I'm beginning to see this has been my downfall. How does someone who does not, learn how to love and forgive themself.
Know the truth and live in its perspective. Self-judgment comes through thinking in a certain condemnational way based on conditioned concepts of right and wrong. Unconditional love sees beyond our thinking and what we think in this human environment as irrelevant to a greater reality. The reality is that you are not who or what you 'think' you are. You simply and magnificently are... and that is beautiful indeed.

Unconditional love recognizes being - eternal being. Our value and worth comes not from our human nature, but from our essential beingness which is eternal. It/we are the essence of Source Itself. We are not only worthy of unconditional love, we are the expression of it. It is only through the thought constructs of limited human perception that we do not clearly recognize it. Finding alignment with our true nature however, expands our perception and perspective toward a clearer sense of our essence. Finding appreciation in a multitude of things in our day moves us ever more toward the alignment that frees us from our limited judgmental thinking and into an ever more joyful experience of life.

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Re: How do you give yourself unconditional love?

Post by blissrunn14 » Sun Feb 08, 2015 9:42 pm

I have been trying to find appreciation in small things each day like you mentioned the other day. I honestly don't know if it's making a difference in me in anyway, but I definitely don't mind it. It's more pleasant then constantly focusing on what I think is wrong or uncomfortable.

I don't know how to be aligned with my inner essence cause I don't see it. I believe people when they say it's there I just can't see it that I know of.

I forgave my dad many years ago because he wasn't around. I didn't put any effort into it, it just happened and I had many deep insights that day. Insights from within not worldly understanding. That day I saw that no matter what he may have done wrong he deserved my love and I had no right to hate him simply because he was my father. I also saw that what I believed up until that day about him was not true, he did love me and he did the best he could with what he had been handed in this world. I was in bliss for weeks after that, I could see reality and was very detached from my mind I could see the activity in my mind but I was looking at it from afar not one with it like I am now. I was so aware of it that I could see it as an entity feeding information to me wanting me to believe it, but it faded away. I wish I could have that kind of compassion for myself, but haven't really been able to. I have been practicing letting judgement go when I do something stupid and wrong and it does dissolve much of the anxiety, but not all the way. I've always felt very very very disgustingly ugly in my physical appearance and have always hated myself for doing stupid things. It's weird because I'm not physically ugly actually the opposite, but I feel that way so I live that way. I don't know how to have compassion on myself. Is the answer to in each moment let the opinions, judgements, thoughts pass about myself aka don't indulge in them? Then eventually I will not hate myself naturally? I realize that hating myself serves no purpose and that I want to be a better person I just honestly can't help myself when I do stupid things so why should I be hard on myself? But, this is easier said then done and until now any changes or revelations I've had happened on their own I didn't play any part in them. So, how much effort should I even be putting into trying to be better?

Sometimes things are a little confusing and I feel very alone. I kind of feel like I need to fully embrace all of my pain and discomfort alone and not reach out to anything or anyone to try to feel better and my answers and relief is beyond that scary look abyss.

I probably sound like I'm rambling. I see people's stories of waking up and I believe what they say they've seen partially because I've seen glimpses of it and partially because I know deep inside what they're saying is truth. However, I want to know how did they wake up? How does a person wake up? I see that I am unconscious, but I can not make myself wake up.

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Re: How do you give yourself unconditional love?

Post by blissrunn14 » Sun Feb 08, 2015 9:51 pm

I am tired of living in pain, it serves no purpose and makes no sense. I want to know why I am here and what I am supposed to be doing. If I am the essence of God I want to know he is there and live the way he intended me to live. How does someone do that?

I want peace and bliss and to be able to enjoy life before I die.

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Re: How do you give yourself unconditional love?

Post by Webwanderer » Sun Feb 08, 2015 11:58 pm

blissrunn14 wrote:I have been trying to find appreciation in small things each day like you mentioned the other day. I honestly don't know if it's making a difference in me in anyway, but I definitely don't mind it. It's more pleasant then constantly focusing on what I think is wrong or uncomfortable.
I am enjoying this paragraph immensely. "It's more pleasant than constantly focusing on what I think is wrong or uncomfortable". While it may seem small at present, stay with it and it will grow. You have a lifetime of conditioning that went into your present life experience. To the extent that you continue to focus on appreciation, you will refocus life energy into a more enjoyable life. It will gain momentum. The other 'crap' will slowly fade away as you remove your attention from it. Isn't this what you want? Enjoy the enjoyment of appreciation. Appreciate the gift of appreciation.

Your efforts are having the effect you desire. Congratulations. Stay the course. Give it time. Give it a lifetime. Let go of your thoughts that bring you consternation. They are what brings you pain. You don't need to continue to focus on them. You don't have to worry over them. Focus on that which brings you peace and joy more, and that that brings you pain less. As time goes by you will look back and see how your life has changed.

WW

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Re: How do you give yourself unconditional love?

Post by Webwanderer » Mon Feb 09, 2015 12:09 am

blissrunn14 wrote:I am tired of living in pain, it serves no purpose and makes no sense. I want to know why I am here and what I am supposed to be doing. If I am the essence of God I want to know he is there and live the way he intended me to live. How does someone do that?

I want peace and bliss and to be able to enjoy life before I die.
You are here to explore a world of unique possibilities. That means experiencing a very challenging environment. Can you find love and joy in such a world. In your greater awareness, your true nature that exists beyond this physical focus, you certainly thought you could. The thing is you can't really screw it up in the greater sense since all experience has value. You can cause yourself pain in the limited sense of ego perspective. But you can also make the choices that bring fun and love and adventure.

Resistance to what is is not the way. Exploration, and always making the best of what unfolds, living through appreciation for the life that you are. All these makes for a great life, even from the standpoint of ego. You have to choose for it however. You have to overcome your present conditioning through the thoughtful focus of your attention to make the changes that bring more joyful experience. You're built for it, so it is indeed possible. Choose. Take the reigns on how you see life and what it means. Don't settle for conditioned responses. You can if you believe you can. It's that simple.

WW

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Re: How do you give yourself unconditional love?

Post by blissrunn14 » Mon Feb 09, 2015 9:21 pm

Good morning :-)

So for instance the last couple of days I feel sad and a little hopeless. I've lost my job, lost my only friend which was also my boyfriend and a host of other unfortunate situations legal, financial etc... and feel as though things will never turn upwards for me. My outer or material world has basically completely crumbled around me over the past few months. As I'm feeling the pain, loneliness and hopelessness in my gut sometimes I'm overwhelmed and cry (maybe I'm feeling sorry for myself). When able I just sort of relax and get quiet and just feel it all in my gut then I try to do as you say and look around my present environment and look for anything I feel grateful for, right now it's very small things because I don't have much. Like I'm grateful that I'm warm right now even though it's freezing outside, I'm grateful I was able to have some fresh green juice this morning that energized me, I'm grateful my kids got to go to a good school today and they're happy there. These are all things I'm almost scared to think about because they can also be easily taken away, but at the moment I have them so as you said I do my best to focus on them and acknowledge them in appreciation.

Is this what you mean to do? I'm asking because as I do it I feel like I'm doing it wrong and it feels unnatural and I'm sure it's because I've never done it before. I really want to do whatever I can to encourage positive change in my life and progress.

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Re: How do you give yourself unconditional love?

Post by Webwanderer » Mon Feb 09, 2015 11:49 pm

First, life is always going to have its challenges. That's a good thing. It is in part why we are here - to explore such challenging environment. You don't always have to be happy about it, but you don't have to judge it/yourself too harshly either. Being more of an observer of the events that flow through offers more stability of being. Alignment with our true nature is the source of stability. Our emotions are our guides to recognizing the nature of that alignment.

Life is not against you. You can experience it as such to the degree you believe it so, but you can also believe that challenges are gifts that offer opportunities for growth. The life experience one has from one belief to the other can be considerable. You have chosen your beliefs about life that you currently hold - although much has come through early life conditioning. You can now choose a different belief however, through the choice of meaning you apply to the events and conditions of your life. Those meanings will create or strengthen beliefs and bring a quality of experience relating to those meanings and beliefs. But it is about choice. Make it consciously, or live with your conditioning. You don't seem to be happy with the current experience of your beliefs, so maybe it's time to choose new ones.

Then there is the gratitude you point to. If you re-read my earlier posts, I said little about gratitude other than it was different from appreciation. Gratitude is more of a response to something received. You can look at things that way, but appreciation brings a different context to your experience - one that is more expansive and freeing relative to gratitude which can bring a sense of indebtedness.

Appreciation is more of a giving relationship with something acknowledged. Energy flows through one in appreciation - an energy of your greater being. It's the recognition of the beauty and Source essence in any object of appreciation regardless of how it came into your awareness. That relationship of appreciation with the underlying beauty of life's expressions is unconditional, and not all that difficult once you see it clearly. It is to acknowledge the existence of whatever is perceived with approval regardless of appearances. Its/their beauty comes from simply being in a universe of form.

Be patient and explore these possibilities for yourself. You can't take my word for it. It has to be experienced. But once you see it, life changes in favor of more joy and happiness. It has for me, and it has for many others. You are just as worthy of love and happiness as anyone else. You are an extension of Source beingness in human form - as we all are. Appreciate that in others and your self, and in all life expressions. It's all worth your acknowledgement. And remember, it's not an analytical thing, it's a feeling awareness. So feel it out. There is no failure, there is only the next step.

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Re: How do you give yourself unconditional love?

Post by blissrunn14 » Tue Feb 10, 2015 12:06 am

i feel confused :-(

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Re: How do you give yourself unconditional love?

Post by Webwanderer » Tue Feb 10, 2015 1:35 am

I'm happy to answer specific questions. Or maybe someone else is better suited to help.

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