How do you give yourself unconditional love?

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blissrunn14
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Re: How do you give yourself unconditional love?

Post by blissrunn14 » Tue Feb 10, 2015 2:21 am

I don't know the difference between gratitude and appreciation. It sounds like from what I'm reading that appreciation is a state I probably have to wait to happen because I don't know what essence is. It hasn't been shown to me yet that I know of.

I'm just feeling frustrated.

Everything is so confusing and it seems like all this enlightenment stuff is blessing some people are just lucky to get. Why does everything have to be such a mystery?

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smiileyjen101
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Re: How do you give yourself unconditional love?

Post by smiileyjen101 » Tue Feb 10, 2015 11:48 pm

Bliss, the only one asking questions of 'what is', is you.

So the only one making it as if it is a mystery to be solved before you can be, is you.

The only one who is layering frustration and confusion over what is, and then wondering why everything is buried under frustration and confusion, is you.

In the moment that you forgave your father - was everything that 'is', just clear and you stopped questioning it, resisting it and arguing with it?

What is it that is questioning, resisting and arguing?

One can appreciate - appraise and accept the reality of, without necessarily feeling grateful for it, one accepts without resistance or argument.

Only from acceptance as a base can one see things to appreciate.

As ET says, if one is making an enemy, obstacle or a means to an end of a thing, person or situation, one is creating suffering for them self, and for others around them.

And we do that in many different ways and on many different levels.

When we a) realise this, and b) stop doing it unconsciously then we have a different experience.

In very simple terms - make an enemy, obstacle, means to an end of anything - one of my favourite examples is a traffic jam when we're in a hurry to get somewhere.
If one accepts that the suffering is optional, that our frustration is based on our non acceptance of what is - we can move into acceptance - cos yaknow, no matter how mad at the traffic I get it doesn't actually have any effect on it, only on me and those around me.

With this awareness I went from a true lunatic :twisted: who could totally justify being 'mad', to one who only looked like a lunatic :wink: dancing in my seat, enjoying the music playing in my car, taking the time to really see and appreciate the things that if the traffic wasn't crawling I'd fly past and miss --- there is this really awesome park with ancient trees, with intricately twisting branches, falling leaves and a myriad of birds..... that I only really noticed when the traffic was crawling. And not even then when I was busy ranting and raving that the traffic shouldn't be crawling.

Those simple sorts of things change our experience, change our attitudes and therefore change our lives.

Nothing changed about traffic jams, I was still late for work, ... I just changed my own thinking, appreciation and therefore experience of it.

It really isn't that difficult - we only think & therefore make it so.
Our rights start deep within our humanity; they end where another's begin~~ SmileyJen
http://www.balancinginfluences.com

blissrunn14
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Re: How do you give yourself unconditional love?

Post by blissrunn14 » Wed Feb 11, 2015 2:31 am

So by appreciation you guys mean relaxing and excepting the moment as it is and that naturally generates appreciation?

Yes, I get like this sometimes (frustrated). I'm not sure why I feel frustrated sometimes I can't just get better.

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Webwanderer
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Re: How do you give yourself unconditional love?

Post by Webwanderer » Wed Feb 11, 2015 5:41 am

blissrunn14 wrote:So by appreciation you guys mean relaxing and excepting the moment as it is and that naturally generates appreciation?
That's certainly a step in the right direction. I suggest however, that you add to your relaxing and accepting a recognition and sense that there is an underlying good in whatever you perceive. There is likely a lot that you see that seems in contrast to such a perceiving. It may be too big a reach to appreciate everything in life at present. So take the easy path whenever possible. Appreciate a beautiful flower, a friendly smile, a playful child, a warm bed, a thousand small things a day. This practice will rewire your perspective to see more of the beauty in life and less of that which frustrates you.

Consider that the more you cite a belief that you 'can't' get better, the more you reinforce it as a reality in your life. This reinforcement of your own belief through constantly stating it as true, both outwardly and inwardly, keeps it ever present in your life. Focus on appreciation and beauty and love and joy and these will become more prominent in your experience.

These are only pointers. It is incumbent on you to apply them and to do so with consistency. Whatever you do, where ever you focus, you are certain to get more of it.

WW

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DavidB
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Re: How do you give yourself unconditional love?

Post by DavidB » Wed Feb 11, 2015 12:56 pm

Unconditional love is total acceptance.

Giving yourself unconditional love is accepting your self exactly how you are right now.

This is why in order to love someone else, you first must love yourself, otherwise the love that you offer is always conditional, and therefore not love at all.
“Wisdom is knowing I am nothing, Love is knowing I am everything, and between the two my life moves.” ― Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj

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