Quiet person

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Quiet person

Postby x3nny » Thu Jan 14, 2016 11:15 am

Hi,

I am a quiet person by nature. Usually I don't have much to say and I don't have much opinions about things and issues...

Because of this, I hardly say a word during lunch time when I'm out with my colleagues. Recently, they have been telling me that they can't go out to lunch with me and thus I have to lunch out by myself. Though I don't participate much in their conversations I do listen to what they say and feeling connected and updated about things happening around me.

After lunching out by myself I do indeed feel more relaxed but I'm afraid of loosing connection with others.

I generally don't have much experiences to share and I don't have much opinion on things.

What should I do? Should I just let it be or try to upgrade myself, develop more opinions and mingle more?
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Re: Quiet person

Postby rodriguez_88 » Thu Jan 14, 2016 9:16 pm

Hi, x3nny :)

It sounds to me like your colleagues aren't comfortable with silence. They may feel like you're secretly judging them, as, from their perspective, you withhold opinions often.

I wouldn't worry about it too much; if they can't accept you for the quiet person you are, it's their loss, not yours. How relaxed you are when not in their company is an indication that doing things alone isn't a problem; it's only when the mind has something to say that it becomes one.

As for the 'upgrading' yourself part, it's really up to you. But I'd be wary of changing for others simply because my quiet nature makes them uncomfortable.

Personally, I find people who take to silence to be far more interesting, in contrast to those whom may speak in abundance, but have very little to say.
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Re: Quiet person

Postby smiileyjen101 » Fri Jan 15, 2016 3:37 am

Though I don't participate much in their conversations I do listen to what they say and feeling connected and updated about things happening around me.

This is maybe something you can share with them.

I'm afraid of loosing connection with others.


Feedback & reciprocity is important in building & maintaining connections / relationships.

We can be quietly & succinctly honest with our appreciation and our sharing of ourselves - there is no relationship / connection if it is a one way street.

It just is as it is.
Our rights start deep within our humanity; they end where another's begin~~ SmileyJen
http://www.balancinginfluences.com
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Re: Quiet person

Postby dijmart » Fri Jan 15, 2016 4:04 am

I'm not a quite person per say, but I eat lunch alone, because I like to... I've had people invite me to their table many times and I turn them down. I like the down time...it's my time and I don't want to use it gabbing about some useless dribble or gossip.
Take what you like and leave the rest.
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Re: Quiet person

Postby Dragonxluv » Tue Jan 19, 2016 11:03 am

If you have trouble getting access to the user interface and even the fourth.
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Re: Quiet person

Postby phantombaz » Mon Jan 25, 2016 5:25 am

x3nny wrote:Hi,

I am a quiet person by nature. Usually I don't have much to say and I don't have much opinions about things and issues...

Because of this, I hardly say a word during lunch time when I'm out with my colleagues. Recently, they have been telling me that they can't go out to lunch with me and thus I have to lunch out by myself. Though I don't participate much in their conversations I do listen to what they say and feeling connected and updated about things happening around me.

After lunching out by myself I do indeed feel more relaxed but I'm afraid of loosing connection with others.

I generally don't have much experiences to share and I don't have much opinion on things.

What should I do? Should I just let it be or try to upgrade myself, develop more opinions and mingle more?


Your fine, you think to much on how to "fit in", why do you think you need to "upgrade" and to what will you upgrade too, do you think you some how inferior to other?
just relax, take a breath. Dont try to derive something, an attachment, to the group, is your need to be accept greater than to be how you are and be accept for it?
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Re: Quiet person

Postby sardinelover » Fri Feb 12, 2016 1:25 pm

x3nny wrote:...develop more opinions and mingle more?


This. Getting shut out by work colleagues will not end well. When at work, play the happy at work game. Engage more, smile more.
Relax your face
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Re: Quiet person

Postby Sighclone » Sun Feb 14, 2016 4:16 am

welcome x3nny, hope you enjoy your stay here.

The first question is: "are you happy?" You say you worry about losing connection with others. Perhaps you mean losing more connection with others, since you don't have much now. But if that is fundamentally OK, then let the connections go. Some people are content to be loners. A few, not many, but some.

It is interesting you would come to a Tolle forum to ask your first question about connecting more with others. Connecting with others is way down the list of priorities for Tolle. His primary emphasis is on awakening - spiritual awakening. Connection with others usually means egos interacting...not a usual way to wake up.

Andy
A person is not a thing or a process, but an opening through which the universe manifests. - Martin Heidegger
There is not past, no future; everything flows in an eternal present. - James Joyce
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Re: Quiet person

Postby anotherunits » Thu Mar 24, 2016 2:48 pm

Go and do this Meyer-Briggs personality test and it may give you more of an idea why you are quiet. http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/jtypes2.asp
It is all about getting to know as much as you can about yourself
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Re: Quiet person

Postby Sighclone » Fri Mar 25, 2016 6:32 pm

Yes, Myers-Briggs is fine. And you get to have a "personality type" to explore and talk about.
But, from a spiritual-growth perspective, it is ultimately a distraction. I say that with reservation, though: for some it is essential to understand why their ego-identity / personality is as it is. I like Transactional Analysis as a foundation for understanding the behavior of people / personalities, too. Adya is quite clear in reminding us that very dysfunctional personalities are a barrier to awakening -- he regularly sends people into more conventional therapies, before returning to the path/no path to discovery of Self. It seems one needs to be sufficiently "comfortable in your own skin" to be able to discard it without serious trauma or misdirection - another nondual paradox!

Andy
A person is not a thing or a process, but an opening through which the universe manifests. - Martin Heidegger
There is not past, no future; everything flows in an eternal present. - James Joyce
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