Who am I

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Re: Who am I

Postby DavidB » Mon Apr 18, 2016 8:09 am

When they start to live their lives as the other gender, this sense of unrest is often relieved. Maybe I'm over simplifying it, or completely off based, but that's how I see it at least for now.


Yeah, but the statistics prove that for transgender males, the suicide rate is far higher than the general population, after the operation. If this were all about gender, then that sense if dissatisfaction ought to be corrected with gender reassignment, and it quite clearly isn't.

I'm not against people living how they want to live, they can do what ever they like, it's none of my business of course. But suggesting that gender reassignment is some sort of panacea for unhappiness, is not necessarily going to be helpful. :)

Dissatisfaction, is an inherent aspect of the human condition. Problems, are inseparable from a sense of self. Being human, is two aspects. The human is the form, and the being is the formless. The human will always be unsatisfied. While the being is wholeness itself.

I suggest, that the feeling of being in the wrong body, is quite possibly a feeling transposed from the the inherent human feeling of dissatisfaction, focused on body as the source of that dissatisfaction. Altering gender then, in this instance, will not alleviate the feeling of dissatisfaction, at least not for long, as the feeling of dissatisfaction is not a personal problem to be solved, but rather an inherent aspect of the human condition, not something that can be solved through any effort of ones own, but a situation to be accepted, and therefore transcended.
“Wisdom is knowing I am nothing, Love is knowing I am everything, and between the two my life moves.” ― Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj
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Re: Who am I

Postby DavidB » Mon Apr 18, 2016 8:30 am

BJR wrote:Thank you all for your insights.

For much of my life I was confused, angry and depressed by my situation. I blamed god for doing this to me I hated my body and was jealous of other people who seemed to be so much more at peace with themselves. Finally now that I have started to step back from my limited perspective and view things from a higher perspective, I have begun to realize that I chose this situation. What I once considered to be a curse has turned out to be a blessing. This situation has forced me to see myself not as a body but as a soul with a body. It has also help me to be more compassionate of other people and their faults, less quick to judge them. I understand now that altering my body to match my mind is not the answer for me, my quest is to make peace with my body and to accept it as it is. As my therapist told me if you cant change something your only choice is to accept it she called this "radical acceptance".


I 100% agree with your therapist BJR.

I believe you have taken your experience, seen it for what it is, appreciated the growth it provided for you, and transcended your limited human perspective. Well done. :D
“Wisdom is knowing I am nothing, Love is knowing I am everything, and between the two my life moves.” ― Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj
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Re: Who am I

Postby BJR » Tue Apr 19, 2016 1:41 am

While I hope that the discussion around my gender identity has been helpful for someone who has not experienced it to give them a greater understanding and compassion for people struggling with it.
What I was hoping to discuss has more to do with the fact that this experience has led me to the awareness that I am not the original occupant of this body. In the same way that I am aware of being Brian I am aware of being Alice. I have had regressions that took me back to other lives but they were different, they felt remote, more like watching a movie that you played a character in.

With Alice its different. I am aware that we are one and the same person, the same stream of consciousness. During hypnosis I experienced my death as Alice, I refused to leave the earth plane and go "into the light". During regression I was aware of entering into and combining with this body when the soul that occupied it left. For most of my life I was unaware of the fact that I was not this bodies original occupant, other than a my gender dysphoria and a vague feeling that I was out of place in the world. After about a year of hypnotherapy I became aware of my dual identity, as I began to recover my memories as Alice I started to remember things from my life as her while fully conscious. At first this knowledge was unsettling as my ego fought against it, until I finally accepted it, and eventually embraced this aspect of who I am. With out going into a long drawn out story; as Alice, after I became pregnant with my second child I learned that I had kidney disease, during my pregnancy the fears that I felt were transmitted to the baby growing inside of me. In 1968 when I was 37 years old I died from kidney failure, the trauma of my death and the loss of her mother traumatized my baby daughter who would suffer from low self esteem and clinical depression as a result. I entered this body when it was five years old and joined the military at eighteen. I traveled to the other side of the world, found my girl, married her, and now as her husband after of 30 years of marriage I am still helping her through her struggles as she is through mine.
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