Help/thoughts Sought regarding my pain body

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Help/thoughts Sought regarding my pain body

Postby Andyzen » Thu Jul 28, 2016 5:14 pm

I have a very dense pain body and recently active periods seems to be more frequent and more intense. When my pain body is active I feel, worthless, useless, hard done to, dread and total fear of the future. It is sometimes unbearable. I know from the teachings that I have to observe it and surrender but this does not seem to work.I have also tried going into the pain fully. I started on the spiritual path when I split from my partner and at the same time lost my step-daughter who i raised. This was 3 years ago and I did experience a shift when I read the book for the first time. Since then my pain body still takes me over. I cannot help but believe the thoughts that I think which are on a level with the pain body. My main recurring thought is that I have failed at life because I am 37, and live alone and have no children or girlfriend. I know this is only relatively important but I cannot stop feeling sad when I think about this, and I also start to feel massive regret at the fact that I lost a family I once had and I blame myself for that.

I did realize that when I was younger I had an addition to the suffering that my pain body caused. I now see this and know what thoughts could trigger my pain body, i try and recognize before it takes me over but sometimes I fail and it does. So I feel so upset sometimes that I am trying so hard but I feel I have However, this pain-body seems never ending. I have been to meditation classes, I have seen Eckhart give a talk, I go on trips on my own I am quite active. I meditate, eat well, exercise and I am a police office which sometimes can be a great asset when It comes to building presence power. But ultimately all of this seems in vain. I just don't want to keep feeling this pain. I don't have many people close to me in my life i feel I could talk to about this so this is why I am posting this. I actually consider suicide as an option but the pain it would cause my parents are what stops me. I know it is the pain body when it arises but the thoughts it creates are true. I am lonely and my life is not the way I want it to be but I feel I have surrendered to this and it's not like I do nothing about it. I do not know what to do.

Sorry this is long winded but I do not know what else to do. any advice would so much appreciated.
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Re: Help/thoughts Sought regarding my pain body

Postby Webwanderer » Thu Jul 28, 2016 9:50 pm

Consider, all this talk and focus on 'pain body' is only feeding it and making it stronger. I'm not suggesting that you deny painful emotions when they arise, they are far too important for that. (Painful emotions are simply telling us we are out of alignment with our true nature. No big deal. It happens to all of us to one degree are another.) But there is a more important factor that you might consider. What are you doing for fun? What are you doing for enjoyment? What inspires you and how much do you focus on and bask in that inspiration? How often, and how long, do you find yourself in appreciation for the beauty and wonderment of life? These things matter greatly in our life experience.

It's like the old metaphor about the two wolves, an evil one and a good one, competing for dominance. Which one will win one might ask? The answer of course, is: the one you feed the most. And you feed either with your focus of attention.

The pain you suffer is mostly of your own creation. That's a good thing because it means you also have the power to change what you are creating. There's no right or wrong here, only the experience we have based on the meaning we apply to the conditions of our life. Feelings of worthlessness, uselessness and fear, are born of the judgments and condemnation we apply as meaning to our own being. Consider how often you feel bad and then pile on yourself with more condemning thoughts that spin endlessly through your mind. It just momentum of energy you created that now seems to have a life of its own. And now it has a name - painbody.

I suggest you kill off the name for starters. It's not separate and personal, it's just focused energy. See it as that rather than a thing with a name. Then recognize energy as something that can be directed. A nudge here and a nudge there and you can find moments of happiness. Don't hang your happiness on results. That's just another setup for failure that will trigger the same self attacks that got you here to start with. Find a thought that feels better than the one that is bringing you pain. If you are depressed, get angry. If you are angry, get frustrated. If you are frustrated, reach for hopeful. If you are hopeful, reach for confidence. If you are confident, reach for appreciation. If you are feeling appreciation, enjoy your day. You are now feeling the love of life.

You can't likely jump from the bottom to the top. It's done one step at a time. Each one is a better feeling place than the one below. Learn to recognize these small steps and appreciate them. :wink:

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Re: Help/thoughts Sought regarding my pain body

Postby Andyzen » Fri Jul 29, 2016 12:18 pm

Webwanderer wrote:Consider, all this talk and focus on 'pain body' is only feeding it and making it stronger. I'm not suggesting that you deny painful emotions when they arise, they are far too important for that. (Painful emotions are simply telling us we are out of alignment with our true nature. No big deal. It happens to all of us to one degree are another.) But there is a more important factor that you might consider. What are you doing for fun? What are you doing for enjoyment? What inspires you and how much do you focus on and bask in that inspiration? How often, and how long, do you find yourself in appreciation for the beauty and wonderment of life? These things matter greatly in our life experience.

It's like the old metaphor about the two wolves, an evil one and a good one, competing for dominance. Which one will win one might ask? The answer of course, is: the one you feed the most. And you feed either with your focus of attention.

The pain you suffer is mostly of your own creation. That's a good thing because it means you also have the power to change what you are creating. There's no right or wrong here, only the experience we have based on the meaning we apply to the conditions of our life. Feelings of worthlessness, uselessness and fear, are born of the judgments and condemnation we apply as meaning to our own being. Consider how often you feel bad and then pile on yourself with more condemning thoughts that spin endlessly through your mind. It just momentum of energy you created that now seems to have a life of its own. And now it has a name - painbody.

I suggest you kill off the name for starters. It's not separate and personal, it's just focused energy. See it as that rather than a thing with a name. Then recognize energy as something that can be directed. A nudge here and a nudge there and you can find moments of happiness. Don't hang your happiness on results. That's just another setup for failure that will trigger the same self attacks that got you here to start with. Find a thought that feels better than the one that is bringing you pain. If you are depressed, get angry. If you are angry, get frustrated. If you are frustrated, reach for hopeful. If you are hopeful, reach for confidence. If you are confident, reach for appreciation. If you are feeling appreciation, enjoy your day. You are now feeling the love of life.

You can't likely jump from the bottom to the top. It's done one step at a time. Each one is a better feeling place than the one below. Learn to recognize these small steps and appreciate them. :wink:

WW


Thank you so much for taking the time to read and reply to my post. You are right about the fun element. It has made me realize I could actually do more things to have fun.

I must admit though, I kind of feel stuck sometimes. I feel that if I do find a temporary distraction the pain will still be there waiting for me. You're comments regarding labeling it as the pain body makes a lot of sense.
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Re: Help/thoughts Sought regarding my pain body

Postby Webwanderer » Fri Jul 29, 2016 6:13 pm

Andyzen wrote:You are right about the fun element. It has made me realize I could actually do more things to have fun.

This chosen action of having some fun will change your life if you apply it with a high degree of regularity. It's really about setting new habits of interacting with your world. The thinking and perceiving habits you set in the past, and are still doing, are what got your here, and it's what keeps you here in your current painful experience. It's not right or wrong, so don't condemn yourself for what comes up.

It's simply learning how thinking and believing works to create life experience - any life experience. That you created what you have is no big deal. It's just a conditioned and an unconscious habit of thinking that is currently on automatic pilot. Just make the conscious choice to change it for something you prefer.

I must admit though, I kind of feel stuck sometimes. I feel that if I do find a temporary distraction the pain will still be there waiting for me.

It likely will be - for a time. Be okay with it. You're beginning to create something new and it will produce life changing benefits if you stay with it. You not likely to change the course of a river in a day. The flow is too strong. But nudge it a little today, a little tomorrow, and the old course will slowly fade away and the new will become the norm. Keep doing what you are doing and you will continue getting what you are getting. It's that simple (I did not say easy.)

Be patient with yourself and don't look for specific results. Just enjoy what is. That present enjoyment is enough and will continue to grow. You wouldn't dig up the seeds you plant in your garden to see how they're doing would you? Continue to nurture them with the nutrients they need and they, and you, will eventually grow strong.

The negativity that is currently entrenched is likely to try an convince you that you can't do it, that it's hopeless, that it's a waste of time. It's just part of the programming that you gave it. Lots of us have been there. Laugh off the desperation of such a line and go have some fun. If you struggle, that's okay. Get angry, get frustrated, get hopeful, get confident, and get appreciative. Walk it back up. Don't pretend. Feel the distinction in each step. Feeling matters a lot. Feeling creates material experience. Pick your opportunities to feel better. Always be on the watch for them. In time they will become automatic in the same way the negativity speaks up now.

I can't stress enough the value of feelings of appreciation. Not so much gratitude, although it too has its place. Gratitude generally is a response to something given. Appreciation is a love for what is without conditions.

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Re: Help/thoughts Sought regarding my pain body

Postby Andyzen » Fri Jul 29, 2016 7:06 pm

Webwanderer wrote:
Andyzen wrote:You are right about the fun element. It has made me realize I could actually do more things to have fun.

This chosen action of having some fun will change your life if you apply it with a high degree of regularity. It's really about setting new habits of interacting with your world. The thinking and perceiving habits you set in the past, and are still doing, are what got your here, and it's what keeps you here in your current painful experience. It's not right or wrong, so don't condemn yourself for what comes up.

It's simply learning how thinking and believing works to create life experience - any life experience. That you created what you have is no big deal. It's just a conditioned and an unconscious habit of thinking that is currently on automatic pilot. Just make the conscious choice to change it for something you prefer.

I must admit though, I kind of feel stuck sometimes. I feel that if I do find a temporary distraction the pain will still be there waiting for me.

It likely will be - for a time. Be okay with it. You're beginning to create something new and it will produce life changing benefits if you stay with it. You not likely to change the course of a river in a day. The flow is too strong. But nudge it a little today, a little tomorrow, and the old course will slowly fade away and the new will become the norm. Keep doing what you are doing and you will continue getting what you are getting. It's that simple (I did not say easy.)

Be patient with yourself and don't look for specific results. Just enjoy what is. That present enjoyment is enough and will continue to grow. You wouldn't dig up the seeds you plant in your garden to see how they're doing would you? Continue to nurture them with the nutrients they need and they, and you, will eventually grow strong.

The negativity that is currently entrenched is likely to try an convince you that you can't do it, that it's hopeless, that it's a waste of time. It's just part of the programming that you gave it. Lots of us have been there. Laugh off the desperation of such a line and go have some fun. If you struggle, that's okay. Get angry, get frustrated, get hopeful, get confident, and get appreciative. Walk it back up. Don't pretend. Feel the distinction in each step. Feeling matters a lot. Feeling creates material experience. Pick your opportunities to feel better. Always be on the watch for them. In time they will become automatic in the same way the negativity speaks up now.

I can't stress enough the value of feelings of appreciation. Not so much gratitude, although it too has its place. Gratitude generally is a response to something given. Appreciation is a love for what is without conditions.

WW


Many thanks yet again. As I read your words I know they are true.

One of the more frequent thoughts/feeling I have is regret. I regret the way my last relationship went and how many good opportunities life has given me that I have not seen, until it was too late. Do you have any advice when this occurs?
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Re: Help/thoughts Sought regarding my pain body

Postby Webwanderer » Fri Jul 29, 2016 10:37 pm

Andyzen wrote:One of the more frequent thoughts/feeling I have is regret. I regret the way my last relationship went and how many good opportunities life has given me that I have not seen, until it was too late. Do you have any advice when this occurs?

While you can't change the past, you can change how you think about it. We've all made mistakes. They're part of life. The problem with regret is that it takes what we think of as past mistakes and creates a painful experience in the present. Why would that be wise? How does it help the past or the present? Then in some future moment we end up regreting the time we wasted in regret. Can you see how that works to cause consistent pain in life?

I look on all past experience for their value - what not to do and what to do better as it applies to the present. Look on the past in a way that makes you stronger, wiser, more insightful going forward.

The past is a storehouse of valuable experiential tools. Of course any tool can be used in destructive ways. It's a choice you will make - either consciously, with your own best interests at heart, or unconsciously through the same conditioned thinking that brought you the pain that concerns you.

Be a little selfish when it comes to your own well being. Appreciate how life allows you to grow in love and understanding through all life experiences. It just takes the right approach. Nothing in your past is worth harming the present. The present, the precious present is all we have. The rest is just memories and imaginations. Find ways to enjoy the present and you will create a whole new set of memories to celebrate. For the sake of your own life experience, and those who share much of it with you, choose fun, and joy, and love, and appreciation. Life can be a treat. It's just a choice.

WW

ps: I recommend you reread this entire thread. See if you can get a sense of the mindset that creates a happier more enjoyable life. It's not in this detail or that so much as a way of looking at life that perceives life's conditions as opportunities for growth while having fun along the way.
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Re: Help/thoughts Sought regarding my pain body

Postby Andyzen » Thu Aug 04, 2016 4:32 pm

Webwanderer wrote:
Andyzen wrote:One of the more frequent thoughts/feeling I have is regret. I regret the way my last relationship went and how many good opportunities life has given me that I have not seen, until it was too late. Do you have any advice when this occurs?

While you can't change the past, you can change how you think about it. We've all made mistakes. They're part of life. The problem with regret is that it takes what we think of as past mistakes and creates a painful experience in the present. Why would that be wise? How does it help the past or the present? Then in some future moment we end up regreting the time we wasted in regret. Can you see how that works to cause consistent pain in life?

I look on all past experience for their value - what not to do and what to do better as it applies to the present. Look on the past in a way that makes you stronger, wiser, more insightful going forward.

The past is a storehouse of valuable experiential tools. Of course any tool can be used in destructive ways. It's a choice you will make - either consciously, with your own best interests at heart, or unconsciously through the same conditioned thinking that brought you the pain that concerns you.

Be a little selfish when it comes to your own well being. Appreciate how life allows you to grow in love and understanding through all life experiences. It just takes the right approach. Nothing in your past is worth harming the present. The present, the precious present is all we have. The rest is just memories and imaginations. Find ways to enjoy the present and you will create a whole new set of memories to celebrate. For the sake of your own life experience, and those who share much of it with you, choose fun, and joy, and love, and appreciation. Life can be a treat. It's just a choice.

WW

ps: I recommend you reread this entire thread. See if you can get a sense of the mindset that creates a happier more enjoyable life. It's not in this detail or that so much as a way of looking at life that perceives life's conditions as opportunities for growth while having fun along the way.



only a week or so on, I can tell the difference your words have helped me. Thank you so much. May I impose on your generosity again.

Since I stared on the spiritual path, I do notice things and experiences that I did not before. I do understand the grace hiding behind all disaster. When I see something of beauty, which is usually just tree's shimmering in the sunshine, or the sun setting over the sea time seems to stand still. Also sometimes, something just listening to the birds sing and I feel totally at peace and I feel as though nothing is this world matters too much, but that does not stay with me for too long then it is gone. This is something I did not experience or notice before I read the power of now. Does this mean that I am growing spiritually do you think?

But what sometimes seems to make me think I haven't is when I speak to friends my own age, or even younger than me who are talking about their young families. I feel bad because its something I had and lost, and I feel as though it will be a difficult life to contemplate without having this in my life. It make me feel inadequate as a Human being as its something I want but I lost, and I feel like time is running out. When these thoughts occur its very hard to stop and the pain takes over, even though there is usually some awareness in the background telling me I have lost the present moment.

Do you have any advice?
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Re: Help/thoughts Sought regarding my pain body

Postby Onceler » Thu Aug 04, 2016 6:23 pm

Hello Andyzen,

I'm sorry to hear you are going thru a rough time, but I have also found my most painful times to be ground for growth. I have found the work of Frank Kinslow to be quite helpful in healing physical and emotional pain. He is very much in line with Tolle and other teachers of 'Awareness' but also offers some very simple, concrete tools to get there. I can say that they have been instrumental in helping me recover from painful physical conditions, but also a chronic nagging depression.....probably related to chronic physical pain. They have also exponentially opened my meditation practice.

His site has two free downloads that are quite wonderful meditations in pure awareness. Very simple and practical, yet quite powerful. If your interest is piqued after that, I would recommend his book, The Kinslow System. This sums up a lot of his books and is a 10$ download on Kindle. He also has a Batgap interview that is an overview of his work.

I hope you things are better and you turn a corner soon,

Jack
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Re: Help/thoughts Sought regarding my pain body

Postby Pennee101 » Fri Aug 05, 2016 10:59 am

Webwanderer wrote:
Find a thought that feels better than the one that is bringing you pain. If you are depressed, get angry. If you are angry, get frustrated. If you are frustrated, reach for hopeful. If you are hopeful, reach for confidence. If you are confident, reach for appreciation. If you are feeling appreciation, enjoy your day. You are now feeling the love of life.

You can't likely jump from the bottom to the top. It's done one step at a time. Each one is a better feeling place than the one below. Learn to recognize these small steps and appreciate them. :wink:

WW


Hi Webwanderer: I remember you from a couple years ago when I was here. It is nice to see you again and to see how you are still helping people!

I found your comments on feelings really interesting and I used it on this one feeling that is provoked by a thought that has been popping up in my head for a long time. I went through the stages and darned if it didn't work! Thank you so much for that!

Does this come from somewhere or did you find it out yourself?

Pennee
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Re: Help/thoughts Sought regarding my pain body

Postby Webwanderer » Fri Aug 05, 2016 6:30 pm

Andyzen wrote:Since I stared on the spiritual path, I do notice things and experiences that I did not before. I do understand the grace hiding behind all disaster. When I see something of beauty, which is usually just tree's shimmering in the sunshine, or the sun setting over the sea time seems to stand still. Also sometimes, something just listening to the birds sing and I feel totally at peace and I feel as though nothing is this world matters too much, but that does not stay with me for too long then it is gone. This is something I did not experience or notice before I read the power of now. Does this mean that I am growing spiritually do you think?

It certainly means you're growing in consciousness. Let's consider for a moment what growing means. While refocusing attention on beauty - singing birds, sun rises and sets, nature in general - is a critical step up in awareness of life, more fundamentally it's about inclusion. Just the simple act of letting more stuff into consciousness that you weren't so much previously aware of is an actualization of growth. The opposite, at least in the human experience, is also true. That which you reject, resist, or deny, is an act of limitation and even constriction.

Ideally, unconditional love, or genuine appreciation for all life's conditions and experiences, is the most inclusive state there is. From the greater consciousness reality, that becomes quite clear. From our human perspective, it's a bit more challenging. But then, we came for the unique challenges this human experience offers. Being in law enforcement offers some excellent opportunities. I was a deputy sheriff for about nine years so I speak from experience. Few places offer the consistent contact with how distorted people can be in perceiving their world. Being able to see through that to the eternal being underneath the appearance offers quite an adventure.

So, back to your question on growing spiritually, or in consciousness. The best answer is to decide for yourself. Are you being more inclusive with the events and conditions of your life? Or are you being more constrictive? More than what you think about it, how does it feel to you? What can you let in? What can you appreciate? Inclusiveness is the true path to growth. And there is no final getting there. It's really a life long opportunity and challenge.

But what sometimes seems to make me think I haven't is when I speak to friends my own age, or even younger than me who are talking about their young families. I feel bad because its something I had and lost, and I feel as though it will be a difficult life to contemplate without having this in my life. It make me feel inadequate as a Human being as its something I want but I lost, and I feel like time is running out. When these thoughts occur its very hard to stop and the pain takes over, even though there is usually some awareness in the background telling me I have lost the present moment.

Do you have any advice?


Having a family is not the litmus test for growth. It may be the platform, but growth is way more personal than any platform we may operate in. It's what you do with the conditions as they are that matters. When I was young, I looked on my own life experience and decided I did not want children. I didn't like my own childhood felt totally unqualified to be a parent. Even had a vasectomy. The life coming my way however, didn't care a bit. At the age of 41 I met and eventually married a woman with two boys, ages two and four. They are both grown now and have wives of their own. I love them dearly and appreciate their being in my world.

The point is, be open and live in the present. By the time they came into my life I had gotten over my resistance. I was available consciously. Life tends to bring us what we need when we stop creating the barriers that keeps it away. Focusing on what's not, or living in regret, will only set you up consciousness wise, to make choices that are not to your best advantage - like jumping into a relationship of co-dependence, instead of one of love and appreciation. Be okay and appreciative with your life as it is, and be open to the right relationship for you. Allow life to unfold naturally. Set your consciousness to feel what's right. That's the nature of alignment and relying on that alignment for guidance. How does it feel? Feeling after all, is the language of spirit.

WW
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Re: Help/thoughts Sought regarding my pain body

Postby Webwanderer » Fri Aug 05, 2016 6:36 pm

Pennee101 wrote:
Hi Webwanderer: I remember you from a couple years ago when I was here. It is nice to see you again and to see how you are still helping people!

I found your comments on feelings really interesting and I used it on this one feeling that is provoked by a thought that has been popping up in my head for a long time. I went through the stages and darned if it didn't work! Thank you so much for that!

Does this come from somewhere or did you find it out yourself?

Pennee

Nice to see you back Pennee. As far as helping others, it is something that gives me more than it gives out I think. Much appreciation for the opportunity to connect.

As I wrote it, it came from my own perception and experience. It is a process that I use in my own life. It was pointed to me however, through the teachings of Abraham. While I have studied the feeling nature of life and clarity from other teachers for some time, it was Abraham's teaching that really brought it to a useful practice for me.

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Re: Help/thoughts Sought regarding my pain body

Postby Pennee101 » Sat Aug 06, 2016 8:49 am

But what sometimes seems to make me think I haven't is when I speak to friends my own age, or even younger than me who are talking about their young families. I feel bad because its something I had and lost, and I feel as though it will be a difficult life to contemplate without having this in my life. It make me feel inadequate as a Human being as its something I want but I lost, and I feel like time is running out. When these thoughts occur its very hard to stop and the pain takes over, even though there is usually some awareness in the background telling me I have lost the present moment.

Do you have any advice?


Hi Andyzen:

I have to say those thoughts that you are having are imprinted on us by society! So many false beliefs, like believing you are inadequate as a human being because you had a relationship fail or are not in one now. That is taught to us. But just as I view the hard times I went through when I was younger as a blessing to me now because they forced me to seek out spiritual comfort which has led to growth is it possible that the situation you find yourself in right now might be a blessing? You are obviously growing spiritually because of it! It might be harder if you had a family running you around so for right now this might be the perfect place for you.

Think of how many people become monks and nuns so they can grow and also so they can be of service to others. If you Google, "The world's happiest man" you will find a monk from France who has meditated extensively on compassion and who the scientific community used via brain scans to prove that the happiness centers of his brain are very very active, much more so than an average person. He chose a life of celibacy and he is the happiest man in the world!

In Buddhism we are taught that the Buddha, (this can be Jesus or God or whatever) will put situations in your life to help you grow past an obstacle on your way to enlightenment. Sort of like that bible saying, "What man means for evil God means for good" Is it possible that the belief that you are, "less than" depending on your life situation is a belief that needs undoing? How would you feel if you didn't have that belief? And can you say that it is absolutely true?

Anyway, just my experience. :)
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Re: Help/thoughts Sought regarding my pain body

Postby kutto » Tue Oct 11, 2016 1:49 am

You can't likely jump from the bottom to the top. It's done one step at a time. Each one is a better feeling place than the one below. Learn to recognize these small steps and appreciate them. :wink:


If you are depressed, get angry. If you are angry, get frustrated. If you are frustrated, reach for hopeful. If you are hopeful, reach for confidence. If you are confident, reach for appreciation. If you are feeling appreciation, enjoy your day. You are now feeling the love of life.


Thanks for that advice WW.

I have suffered severe depression in the past and have moved to a state where I am not strictly depressed but am very unhappy and can feel acres of anger and rage under the surface that I have repressed for a long long time.

I note your advice to 'get angry' but I find this so hard to do - Has anyone had experience venting deep anger and rage obviously without hurting / directing it anyone. The anger gets recycled inwards to the point I am a tense as a rock and my whole body quivers in its own negative energy field. I am certain there is a lot of sadness beyond the anger but I dont know how to get past the anger.

Cheers

Simon
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