Overcoming Infatuation

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oak tree
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Joined: Mon May 20, 2013 6:10 pm

Overcoming Infatuation

Post by oak tree » Sun Nov 20, 2016 7:07 pm

Hi all,

Recently I have developed an infatuation on a man who works in same building. Initially we were both flirting and it was playful. We are both single. In the last month he seems to have totally taken over my thoughts. I'm distracted and can't seem to concentrate on anything else. I keep trying to be present and stay in the Now but this infatuation keeps taking over.

Once, in the pub, he suggested we get drunk and have sex. I explained I need to get to know someone better and spend time with them before getting intimate.

However, it's difficult to forget him and move on when I see him everyday. He is still very friendly which makes it harder.

Any comments appreciated.

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Joined: Fri Jun 11, 2010 4:35 pm

Re: Overcoming Infatuation

Post by dijmart » Sun Nov 20, 2016 11:33 pm

Like any desire, if you stop giving the thoughts your attention, the desire will die down...eventually. You're feeding the thoughts, breathing life into them by entertaining them, focusing your attention on them.

See them as an object appearing to you, awareness. If you want to take action, because of the thoughts, then do that or investigate why you keep thinking of this person who basically just wanted to use you for sex. Seems to me if he wanted more then that he'd ask you out for a proper date, but apparently that hasn't happened. So, if you want to ask him out, then do that, otherwise...I'd move on.
Take what you like and leave the rest.

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Joined: Sat Dec 03, 2016 9:45 am

Re: Overcoming Infatuation

Post by maaref » Sat Dec 03, 2016 11:30 am

The problem you are facing is that you are trying to fight the thoughts. Instead just be an observant to them. Know that giving yourself to these desires (which clearly does not suit your intellect) would only lead to undesirable results which would further effect your state of mind.

Be a walking talking dead. Only engage on matters that would support your enlightened state of mind, soon you will get rid of all kind of desires that are harmful to you and your heart would be filled with love and joy.

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