Is it okay to masturbate?

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Is it okay to masturbate?

Postby jjnaguitthegreat » Sun Nov 27, 2016 8:29 am

Hi sorry for my question I m 19 yrs old applying tolle's teaching and I just don't see tolle talking about it or close to it :D
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Re: Is it okay to masturbate?

Postby dijmart » Mon Nov 28, 2016 12:36 am

My view is that it's normal and natural, especially at your age! Like anything it could become an issue if done in extremes, otherwise it's fine, unless you plan to be a monk or something.
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Re: Is it okay to masturbate?

Postby Webwanderer » Mon Nov 28, 2016 3:40 pm

Is it okay to masturbate?

That's not the most revealing question. It kind of puts it in the context of right or wrong. A better question might be 'how does masturbation affect my well being?'. 'Does it improve and expand my life experience, or does it diminish and constrict my life experience?' It could be either or both depending on context. Of course the same could be said for all life interests and attractions. Trust your insight and feelings on the matter. In any case, don't make it a matter of right and wrong.

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Re: Is it okay to masturbate?

Postby turiya » Tue Nov 29, 2016 2:44 am

As long as you do it consciously... :lol:

I mean, as long as you're not unconsciously using it as an attempt to escape, remove, or anesthetize some kind of underlying unease, unhappiness, boredom, anixety, etc. within you, then I don't see any harm in it.
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Re: Is it okay to masturbate?

Postby jjnaguitthegreat » Tue Nov 29, 2016 3:28 pm

Is keeping sexual energy better?
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Re: Is it okay to masturbate?

Postby Webwanderer » Tue Nov 29, 2016 3:38 pm

jjnaguitthegreat wrote:Is keeping sexual energy better?

It could be. It depends on how it affects your focus of attention and resulting experience. There is no 'hard' fast answer that defines all situations. (Couldn't resist the pun :mrgreen: )

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Re: Is it okay to masturbate?

Postby Blenderhead » Fri Dec 02, 2016 7:19 pm

Masturbating will decrease your drive for women, making it less likely for you to find a girlfriend, since you will be less motivated. You should make it a habit to masturbate only a few times per week or less if possible and preferably only to fantasy. This is my conclusion after 10 years pondering the same question.

I have definitely had more succes with women this way. And also had a few very nice girlfriends, that made my life so much sweeter 8) 8) :mrgreen: :D

You should also consider not watching porn, since porn will make you masturbate 8)
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Re: Is it okay to masturbate?

Postby maaref » Sat Dec 03, 2016 11:56 am

I would avoid indulging in masturbation for a simple reason that it does not do anything to support your spiritual growth which focuses on getting rid on all desires and knowing yourself. Having said that, if you can't take it out of your mind, then that would hinder your spiritual growth and in this case do it to a minimum.
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Re: Is it okay to masturbate?

Postby Webwanderer » Tue Dec 06, 2016 3:47 pm

maaref wrote:I would avoid indulging in masturbation for a simple reason that it does not do anything to support your spiritual growth which focuses on getting rid on all desires and knowing yourself.

So you are saying that a designed feature in the human body (pleasure) is destructive to spiritual growth? And are you also saying spiritual growth is dependent on being free of desires? It seems curious that something as ubiquitous as desire in the human experience should be something to be purged. What about the desire for spiritual growth? Should that also be avoided? Failure of avoidance seems to be a recipe for a debilitating guilt trip, in all manor of what one chooses to avoid. Wouldn't inclusion of such natural processes be more valuable in the growth of consciousness?

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Re: Is it okay to masturbate?

Postby maaref » Tue Dec 06, 2016 6:23 pm

Webwanderer wrote:
maaref wrote:I would avoid indulging in masturbation for a simple reason that it does not do anything to support your spiritual growth which focuses on getting rid on all desires and knowing yourself.

So you are saying that a designed feature in the human body (pleasure) is destructive to spiritual growth? And are you also saying spiritual growth is dependent on being free of desires? It seems curious that something as ubiquitous as desire in the human experience should be something to be purged. What about the desire for spiritual growth? Should that also be avoided? Failure of avoidance seems to be a recipe for a debilitating guilt trip, in all manor of what one chooses to avoid. Wouldn't inclusion of such natural processes be more valuable in the growth of consciousness?

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I would avoid labeling things are destructive or constructive as it all depends on the individual, situation and where the individual is in his journey to awakening. That is why I pointed out to the OP that if he found it hard to avoid masturbating, he should do it to a minimum. There is no one answer fit all in this situation.

Nonetheless, I would say that the "designed feature in the human body (pleasure)" as you pointed is there for a reason. It is not destructive by itself. Similar to eating, sleeping or any other natural act in the human behaviour. It exists/designed to serve a purpose(s). However, all these "designed features" can be destructive if not used in a proper fashion. For example, eating unhealthy food, over-fasting or overeating would not only lead to heath issues but would also affect your spiritual growth in both the short and long term (more on that upon discussing desire below). The point is that everything must be done as per its "design/purpose" to support the individual's state of awakening.

The best practice is to do it to the extent/manner necessary and appropriate to fulfill your needs and not over indulging in it. Masturbation is usually performed for two reasons (i) instant relief of sexual tension and (ii) for pure pleasure. I would argue that the latter would usually hinder your spiritual growth (especially if you are not fully awakened) as you would be drawn to the dream state as oppose to the awakening state.

Do not get me wrong. Being awakened does not mean you stop enjoying yourself and fulfilling the "designed features in the human body". Being awakened is a merger between the dream state and the absolute truth (relative to which nothing is real). Merger of the two opposites. In that you are aware of the truth and from it you see all that is in the dream (or in another words, you are aware of the consciousness and through it all that appears in it), making you less likely to be entangled by the dream. Therefore, what you do in this awakened state (merger of the opposites) would become less personal and more aligned with your true nature/consciousness.

This general rule applies to all desires. You should not fight desires, as doing so would only make you more entangled in the dream state (as you rightly put it, would lead to "a debilitating guild trip"). Instead, your focus should be on the absolute truth/consciousness, which makes you see things as they are and then to efficiently use the mind (rather than being used by it) to determine what is best for you/others in any given situation. This is what is sometimes referred to as the "greater/consciousness intelligence".

Desires should not be fought. But, similar to thoughts and emotions (being the parents of desire), you should see yourself above it at all times. In this sense, being free from desire (thoughts and emotions) would allow for the greater/consciousness intelligence to kick in.

Needless to say, what we talk about is hard to conceptualize as words lose their meaning. I hope I was able to clarify my view.
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Re: Is it okay to masturbate?

Postby Webwanderer » Wed Dec 07, 2016 7:31 am

maaref wrote:I hope I was able to clarify my view.

You did. I just prefer a simpler way. I find that a primary component of 'spiritual growth' is a significant measure of simplicity. Resistance of desires can be a bigger problem than the desires themselves.

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Re: Is it okay to masturbate?

Postby painBody » Wed Jan 04, 2017 9:38 am

I applaud you on your courage to ask a question about a topic that, perhaps, most would find awkward or even sinful. Sex is definitely NOT my domain of expertise, but I'll throw in my two cents anyway, because this is an important topic (to me personally, as well).

Regardless of whether ET talks about it or not, I'm certain that he would never deny that we have to live with the limitations/constraints of our physical form. Dogs cannot build airplanes, Tigers cannot earn PhD's in Psychology, and most humans (Google "Asexuality" for the exception to this rule) cannot live without some form of sexual expression. We have to honor the form we have manifested as. That includes eating, sleeping, defecating, and having sex.

Personally, I think that consensual sex with a human partner is a wonderful thing in many ways, and is the best form of said sexual expression, but some of us either don't have access to that pleasure portal, or we do but still feel the need for right hand love ... some of us more than others, and some of us more often than others. And, I don't think there's anything wrong with it.

Now, if you're asking about things like pornography, the answer is I don't know. I don't see anything fundamentally wrong with it. Despite that, I feel ashamed when I fall victim to the urge to consume it.

Personally, if given a choice, I would love to throw every ounce of Testosterone out of my body and be asexual like the lucky few. I'd be far happier and at peace. It is actually quite amazing what a huge impact the lack of love/sex has had on my life.

I guess the short answer to your question is a resounding unequivocal "Yes ! Knock yourself out !"
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Re: Is it okay to masturbate?

Postby DavidB » Wed Jan 04, 2017 3:02 pm

Eckhart doesn't specifically mention masturbation, but he does say that whatever you do, do it consciously.

So I say, enjoy your masturbation, just be present while you do it. :D

(Conscious doing = presence)
“Wisdom is knowing I am nothing, Love is knowing I am everything, and between the two my life moves.” ― Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj
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Re: Is it okay to masturbate?

Postby Ntwarr76 » Tue Jan 10, 2017 2:12 pm

No. Can you imagine Jesus or Buddha doing that?

If you want some self mastery and power check out NoFap.
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Re: Is it okay to masturbate?

Postby painBody » Wed Jan 11, 2017 1:41 am

Ntwarr76 wrote:No. Can you imagine Jesus or Buddha doing that?


No, but Jesus and Buddha didn't log on to any internet forums, either ... to my knowledge.

If the best answer is really "no", I don't see a worse reason than the one you provided.

I don't mean to offend you or any other follower of Jesus or Buddha, but I have to be honest too.
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