Sometimes it feels like my ego is taking me on a ride wherev

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Sometimes it feels like my ego is taking me on a ride wherev

Postby Scouser » Mon Jan 09, 2017 7:31 pm

"Sometimes it feels like my ego is taking me on a ride wherever it pleases and I am just a passenger"

On the same hand I think my awareness is growing, as I'm noticing these things more and more. However that doesn't seem stop my ego, taking me on a emotional rollercoaster, whenever it so desires. I think I may have some mild depression, as a result of some very testing emotional circumstances over the last couple of years, which are ongoing. The effect of this seems to pull my mind towards indulging negative thoughts, more than usual. I'm not one for medication and feel practicing my meditation, mindfulness, awareness and understanding is a better route for me.

So back to my original point, what doesn't help is not fully understanding ego I guess. It feels like it's part of me, which I suppose it is, then it all starts getting confusing, with things like " the ego is not you, the real you is the person who watches the ego " I guess in a nutshell, I think of me, as the ego, the entity or whatever it is, that is other than the ego and our body. What is the most simplistic way of viewing this duality ?

I suppose what sometimes surprises me, is how I can, so surreptitiously, be drawn into these "negative thinking scenarios" sometimes for long periods of time before I realise what's going on and on some occasions it's difficult to turn it around, almost like it's worn me out emotionally. Generally I catch these thoughts in their early stages
and see them for what they are, if they relate to things that understandably warrant compassion, I accept and treat accordingly, more importantly, I never ignore or try to "sweep under the carpet" but I try not to give roots either, this strikes me as a reasonable balance. Never the less, it puzzles as to why my egos default, seems to be "how can I create some troubling scenarios"



Well if there is anything I'm not already doing , I'd like to know about it ;)
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Re: Sometimes it feels like my ego is taking me on a ride wh

Postby dijmart » Mon Jan 09, 2017 9:36 pm

"Sometimes it feels like my ego is taking me on a ride wherever it pleases and I am just a passenger"


Good observation!

On the same hand I think my awareness is growing, as I'm noticing these things more and more.


Awareness is all prevading and ever present, it is removal of ignorance of your true nature, that is bearing fruit within the mind that allows you to notice the ego, instead of being the ego.

So back to my original point, what doesn't help is not fully understanding ego I guess. It feels like it's part of me, which I suppose it is,


The ego is simply the false self, the I-thought that associates with this, that and the other...it can not stand alone. However, the ego can never be gotten rid of or eradicated, it's needed to experience this "apparent" world. So, the best we can do is see it for what it is and see through its antics. But, when the mind understands fully and completely that it is only "apparent" and not a volitional, seperate self, then the ego also understands this and for the most part reflects this knowledge.

then it all starts getting confusing, with things like " the ego is not you, the real you is the person who watches the ego "


So, let me re-phrase your sentence correctly, if I may-
"The ego is not you (awareness), the real you is awareness, who watches the ego".

I guess in a nutshell, I think of me, as the ego, the entity or whatever it is, that is other than the ego and our body.


This sentence seems a little butchered, no offense, I can't tell what you mean in the second portion, so I'll address the first half. Yes, it seems that we are the ego, that's what it "seems" like. Now, the ego is composed of, made from awareness (so is every-thing else), but it's inert and without pure awareness pervading, illuminating and enlivening it, it wouldn't function.

So, although it seems "real", it's only "apparently" real, this is a non-dual reality. Which means "no" separation. So, forms and object are you (awareness-that is what they are created from), but you, pure awareness (ie. The Self) are not them. As no object or the sum total of all objects could comprehensively define you. Objects/forms are ever changing, but you (awareness) remain the same.

So, you play your role in the apparent world, as best you can, because you (awareness) are "associated" with the apparent person as long as there is breath in the body. It will continue to "feel" as though you are a "person" but with the hard and fast knowledge that you actually are "awareness" ....playing a person. So, you do your best to play your part in the movie of life!
Take what you like and leave the rest.
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Re: Sometimes it feels like my ego is taking me on a ride wh

Postby Scouser » Mon Jan 09, 2017 10:25 pm

I suppose there are different levels of "I" as in I play guitar, I like to sing, after all nobody says "awareness is playing this guitar" so that's a kind of tag, whereas "I" could also be like an identity like the ego, obviously they are different, I suppose you could argue one is a part and the other is the whole. However the latter seems something that could take a lifetimes devotion.

Are we saying the ego has no benefit in our lives. It can seem somewhat contradictory, as when life feels good and thought is clear we don't lays notice ego, but it's still there, but when your feeling blue, it's there open armed, difficult to express exactly.
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