Not Reacting to Insults

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Rubber Soul
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Not Reacting to Insults

Post by Rubber Soul » Wed Jan 11, 2017 12:44 am

Why is that basically impossible?

davemill
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Re: Not Reacting to Insults

Post by davemill » Wed Jan 11, 2017 3:11 am

"You're such a stupid (whatever)." I reacted a bit to that just while typing it!

It's hard to ignore that because you want to prove to them, to everyone else who heard it, and indeed to the whole world that the insult is unfair and untrue.

So take a deep breath, meditate or listen to Tolle, then consider this:

What unconscious state must that person have been in, to have felt the need to hurl that insult?

My guess is, it was their ego in threat mode who insulted you, or possibly even their pain body.

In either case, there's nothing you can do or say to fix it or prevent it from happening again. So your ego, or your pain body, can react to it, or the timeless you can see the insult for what it is and let it pass.

By doing so, you may even raise their level of consciousness a bit!
I'm a Dad.

Rubber Soul
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Re: Not Reacting to Insults

Post by Rubber Soul » Wed Jan 11, 2017 10:02 pm

davemill wrote:My guess is, it was their ego in threat mode who insulted you, or possibly even their pain body.
I agree, but people are too good at hiding the fact that they feel threatened

davemill
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Re: Not Reacting to Insults

Post by davemill » Wed Jan 11, 2017 10:13 pm

I agree, but people are too good at hiding the fact that they feel threatened
Yes, this is the unconsciousness that Tolle discusses so frequently. But we ARE conscious, or at least we're all working on it...

So take a deep breath, meditate or listen to Tolle...you know the drill!
I'm a Dad.

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DavidB
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Re: Not Reacting to Insults

Post by DavidB » Thu Jan 12, 2017 2:01 pm

I don't react to insults.

I never find someones opinion of me to be insulting. I see peoples opinions as their own, not mine, none of my business, nothing I need to deal with.

If they have some constructive criticism, then ok fine, that's useful, but they can keep their unsolicited character diagnosis to themselves.

I found this to be very useful. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YwXH4hNfgPg Nonviolent Communication - San Francisco Workshop - Marshall Rosenberg - CNVC.org
“Wisdom is knowing I am nothing, Love is knowing I am everything, and between the two my life moves.” ― Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj

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dijmart
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Re: Not Reacting to Insults

Post by dijmart » Thu Jan 12, 2017 9:02 pm

DavemI'll said-
In either case, there's nothing you can do or say to fix it or prevent it from happening again. So your ego, or your pain body, can react to it, or the timeless you can see the insult for what it is and let it pass.
Yes, thats good advice, however, bad behavior doesn't have to be "allowed" either. Meaning, you can, in a calm fashion, let the person know their behavior is unacceptable and depending on who it is, there could be consequences if the behavior continues. So basically I'm saying, if it's someone you'll never see again flipping you the bird...well, let it go! If it's a family member yelling your a stupid a-hole, uh, thats not acceptable and there may be consequences if that behavior continues. No need to be a doormat.
Take what you like and leave the rest.

Rubber Soul
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Re: Not Reacting to Insults

Post by Rubber Soul » Thu Jan 12, 2017 11:34 pm

I think I had somewhat of a Satori last night after meditating on one of Eckhart's "mantras" (your life situation is illusory, your life is real, your life situation is mindstuff, your life is now)

I eventually started to laugh and say to myself "it's over", as if I just died and felt a subtle but definite peace, beauty and happiness

I'm back to ego again, but I'm definitely gonna keep this up :)

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eputkonen
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Re: Not Reacting to Insults

Post by eputkonen » Fri Jan 13, 2017 12:18 am

Rubber Soul wrote:Why is that basically impossible?
When we give our power away to others, it is impossible. When we are unconscious, it is impossible.

As Eleanor Roosevelt said, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."

Others really have no real power to make us do (or feel) anything. It is usually when we are unconscious that we not only consent to the insult (give our power to the insult) but also react to the insult. If we were a bit more conscious, we might consent to the insult, but not react at all and act instead in a totally different way. If we were a bit more conscious, we might not consent to the insult and thereby it would have no power over you at all and cause no reaction and we simply act.

Also, the root of the reaction would be from a mentally created self-image - the "I" we think we are - the "ego". The "ego", as a mentally created image, is not a stable entity and susceptible to damage (it can be be-littled). As long as we believe in this "I", there is a greater tendency for unconscious reaction for self-preservation of this mental image. So insults are seen as attacks and in the interests of self-preservation there is a reaction. If we see through this "I" for the mirage it is and see what we really are can not be more or less than what we already are...then insults can cause no damage...and so no reflex to protect oneself or fight back or flee.
Namaste,

~ Eric Putkonen
@EngagedNondual on Twitter
Blog at http://www.EngagedNonduality.com - Insights into Nondualism and Living Awake & Engaged

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dijmart
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Re: Not Reacting to Insults

Post by dijmart » Fri Jan 13, 2017 9:19 pm

Nice post EPU (I had to shorten it!)!

As Eleanor Roosevelt said, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."
Love this, so true!
Take what you like and leave the rest.

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Onceler
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Re: Not Reacting to Insults

Post by Onceler » Sat Jan 14, 2017 1:41 am

I don't see the reaction as a problem (unless you end up in jail, perhaps). It's all the second guessing.... if you're hurt, hurt. If you're angry, be angry. If you retaliate, do so with full acknowledgement of the consequences as any sensible human would do.

When you're free to react or not react, without self recrimination, evaluation through the spiritual lens, etc., then you're truly free.
Be present, be pleasant.

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