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Stay presence during conversation

PostPosted: Sat May 27, 2017 2:39 am
by ben10001
Hi, I am introvert. I tend to not to speak. I realize that whenever I say anything, I loss presence(most of the time). On a good day, I can keep my presence during conversation, and feel the power within the words that I speak. Just wondering if anyone has any experience that they can share. How can we be presence during our conversation?

Ben

Re: Stay presence during conversation

PostPosted: Sat May 27, 2017 4:11 pm
by eputkonen
ben10001 wrote:How can we be presence during our conversation?
Ben


When you talk...just talk.

Do not reflectively think about talking or the experience of talking.
For example: Did that sound right? Am I speaking too fast? Crap, I'm stuttering. Now I'm mumbling. I should or shouldn't said this, that, or the other thing (critiquing), etc. etc.

While you are talking...just talk...don't critique, judge, or otherwise reflectively think about the talking while you are in a conversation.
When you stop talking...listen...don't think.

Give this a shot.

Re: Stay presence during conversation

PostPosted: Sun May 28, 2017 1:37 pm
by Onceler
Good advice, Eric. It's all presence. Are you present? Even in the midst of self recriminations, in the midst of judging? I don't think anyone has a completely present focus.....or few do. This is a much hyped aspect of spirituality that grows with time and doesn't happen overnight. The judging about how present we are is a form of meta-analysis that takes us further away from presence. As the clutter in our minds subsides, we are freed up to pay attention. As we hone our attention and focus thru meditation and other exercises we are more present.

I like to count my breaths 1-10 and then start over again when I need to refocus, whether I awake at night or lose focus at work. This was my first Zen meditation practice and I've come back to it 30 years later as a basic grounding tool. It's all I need.....ever needed.