Why does the mind seem to gravitate towards conflict?

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Why does the mind seem to gravitate towards conflict?

Postby Admiral Akmir » Sun Dec 24, 2017 12:39 am

Why is it that my default state of mind seems to be to seek conflict in my own thoughts? Someone made a comment last night that really hurt me, and I've been replaying it over and over again, and with each iteration it becomes more deranged, and my response more aggressive. Finally, this afternoon, I had had enough, and pulled myself out of it. The thought remains, but I will no longer be a part of it. It doesn't feel good to be angry all the time, but there does seem to be a desire for it. Something keeps me in that thought, recalling it over and over again. It's an itch that can never be scratched enough, I know this, because I've found myself revisiting conflicts that are decades old. If twenty years isn't enough, then no amount of time will be. Where does this desire come from? It feels like there is some voice that wants desperately to be heard and listened to.
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Re: Why does the mind seem to gravitate towards conflict?

Postby rachMiel » Sun Dec 24, 2017 1:16 am

I know exactly what you mean. Conflict is addictive. Not only psychologically, but physically I would wager: Conflict is arousing, it gets the blood and endorphins flowing.

We are taught to find, create, nurture conflict from the earliest age up. Be better than, beat, win, never be satisfied with yourself or the world but always strive to improve things, earn more, do more, have more friends, get stronger, smarter, sexier. It's endless.

Arguably even the way we think is grounded in conflict. I/subject think about others/objects. This approach to life posits that I and others are separated, at odds, essentially different, in competition, in a struggle for survival of the fittest, etc.

We humans love our conflict. Back when I was in fiction writing groups, one of the first questions we were asked during the critiquing of our stories was: What's the main conflict driving the characters and plot? Without a good juicy conflict, the stories usually came off boring. And ya know what they say: Life mirrors art.
Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily ...
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