Regret unconcious decisions

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Enlightenednow
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Regret unconcious decisions

Post by Enlightenednow » Tue Mar 06, 2018 4:15 pm

Dear forum,

Now that I am enlightened I realise that I have been very unconcious. I have made a lot of unconcious decisions, egoistic even. I now regret decisions I have made, which I know is in turn unconscious. How do I deal with this feeling of guilt? Should I tell people I have lied to cover up my own mistakes?

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Webwanderer
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Re: Regret unconcious decisions

Post by Webwanderer » Tue Mar 06, 2018 5:28 pm

Welcome to the forum.

Here's my take: Because you have gained some clarity in life due to a measure of self reflection does not necessarily prove 'enlightenment'. One who is truly enlightened would not regret their past choices and decisions to the point of suffering, they would truly learn from them, appreciate their insights, and include them in a larger more understanding worldview. Enlightenment brings inclusiveness and expansion of consciousness. Regret is more likely to contract one's conscious perspective. Recognition does not need to bring on self-judgment, but rather greater understanding of self and others.

WW

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jukai
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Re: Regret unconcious decisions

Post by jukai » Thu Mar 08, 2018 9:50 am

I don't remember where I read this, but I believe it was in a Psychology book. It said something like this - We all make the best decision possible with the information at hand, at any given time. No one says "Let me make a bad decision this time." Later, when you have more information and can see the bigger picture, it becomes clear that that past decision may not have been the best after all. In other words, regret is inescapable. We will always make some decisions that prove bad later. And, we will all have regrets :)

This is what I tell myself when I go into regret mode and start kicking myself.

sardinelover
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Re: Regret unconcious decisions

Post by sardinelover » Fri Mar 16, 2018 3:04 pm

If I got a dollar for every time a person here says that they are enlightened then immediately proceed to talk about their problems, I'd be $50 richer.

Awareness is the solution. Be aware of your thoughts and the thoughts will cease. Your become present, in the now, where there is no past or future.

Guilt, regret and bitterness require past, anxiety, stress and worry require future. In the now you are free of them all.
Relax your face

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jukai
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Re: Regret unconcious decisions

Post by jukai » Sat Mar 17, 2018 12:21 am

sardinelover wrote:
Fri Mar 16, 2018 3:04 pm
If I got a dollar for every time a person here says that they are enlightened then immediately proceed to talk about their problems, I'd be $50 richer.
That's quite a statement, but let me try rephrasing it - if I got a dollar for every instance someone on this site simply parrots what Eckhart says, without showing any real understanding of it but pretending to understand, and then chastises others for being honest, I'd have enough money to move to Mars.

Being enlightened doesn't mean your problems disappear. On the contrary, being enlightened means being honest and bringing out the problems in the light. I think the real issue is that people have some glorified idea in their heads of what "enlightment" is and try to attain that state. There are people in bamboo huts who have nothing but problems and yet are more enlightened than most of those who go to expensive Eckhart Tolle retreats and are able to parrot fancy concepts they hear coming out of someone else's mouth.
sardinelover wrote:
Fri Mar 16, 2018 3:04 pm
Awareness is the solution. Be aware of your thoughts and the thoughts will cease. Your become present, in the now, where there is no past or future.
Guilt, regret and bitterness require past, anxiety, stress and worry require future. In the now you are free of them all.
More fancy words. No piece of prose or poetry is or ever can be the truth. Truth is to be found in the experience of life, not in its description in words. You don't know it if you don't live it.

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Webwanderer
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Re: Regret unconcious decisions

Post by Webwanderer » Sat Mar 17, 2018 1:06 am

jukai wrote:
Sat Mar 17, 2018 12:21 am
Truth is to be found in the experience of life, not in its description in words.
Sounds like something Eckhart Tolle might say. :wink:

WW

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smiileyjen101
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Re: Regret unconcious decisions

Post by smiileyjen101 » Sun Mar 18, 2018 9:27 am

How do I deal with this feeling of guilt?
be grateful for it teaching you that there are better ways of being, and better choices to make going forward.
Should I tell people I have lied to cover up my own mistakes?
far better to just be who you are in this moment, folks will figure it out themselves.

Awareness, capacity, willingness.
They each play their part in our choices, actions and feelings.

Maybe now you will be able to be compassionate and forgiving towards others who may have different levels awareness, capacity in areas you haven't noticed before.

We're all human.
Our rights start deep within our humanity; they end where another's begin~~ SmileyJen
http://www.balancinginfluences.com

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turiya
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Re: Regret unconcious decisions

Post by turiya » Mon Mar 19, 2018 4:05 am

Here's Eckhart with pointers to self-forgiveness:

https://www.eckharttollenow.com/s/bzespj

:wink:
“We ourselves are not an illusory part of Reality; rather are we Reality itself illusorily conceived.” - Wei Wu Wei

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eputkonen
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Re: Regret unconcious decisions

Post by eputkonen » Wed Mar 28, 2018 2:37 pm

Enlightenednow wrote:
Tue Mar 06, 2018 4:15 pm
Dear forum,

Now that I am enlightened I realise that I have been very unconcious. I have made a lot of unconcious decisions, egoistic even. I now regret decisions I have made, which I know is in turn unconscious. How do I deal with this feeling of guilt? Should I tell people I have lied to cover up my own mistakes?
We define enlightenment differently, because I would say the enlightened have seen through the illusions of the mind and no longer suffer...and so there would be no regret or guilt.

I would suggest delving into the regret and feelings of guilt. Embracing it and inquiring into it. In delving into regret and guilt, you may discover and see through the misunderstanding, ignorance, or mental illusion that is causing it...and with the dawning of understanding - it may vanish.
Namaste,

~ Eric Putkonen
@EngagedNondual on Twitter
Blog at http://www.EngagedNonduality.com - Insights into Nondualism and Living Awake & Engaged

meetjoeblack
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Re: Regret unconcious decisions

Post by meetjoeblack » Mon Apr 23, 2018 1:00 am

Enlightenednow wrote:
Tue Mar 06, 2018 4:15 pm
Dear forum,

Now that I am enlightened I realise that I have been very unconcious. I have made a lot of unconcious decisions, egoistic even. I now regret decisions I have made, which I know is in turn unconscious. How do I deal with this feeling of guilt? Should I tell people I have lied to cover up my own mistakes?
The second I have ever taken on the ego that, 'I am enlightened,' I found out quickly that I was a fool, and the crash happened abruptly.

IMHO, you could but I would lead by example and make good. If a child is lost, is he bad or is he just lost?

I am seeking self knowledge and exploring consciousness. In doing so, I viewed life through the lens of a child again. I was curious about this life again. If we viewed ourselves as the child we once were, still holding ourselves accountable, I think we could come to love ourselves more, and begin the forgive our periods of unconsciousness.

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Onceler
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Re: Regret unconcious decisions

Post by Onceler » Wed Apr 25, 2018 3:24 am

I don’t have much wisdom for others but I have become somewhat wise about my own life....I searched for enlightenment for thirty years, gave it my best shot, and it wasn’t until I gave up that I started living fearlessly, without regret, and without suffering. Enlightenment wasn’t what I thought it was. I still don’t know what it is but believe we can live a satisfied life without it.
Be present, be pleasant.

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MissNikki
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Re: Regret unconcious decisions

Post by MissNikki » Mon Apr 30, 2018 6:17 pm

Dear Enlightenednow,

I think all of us have made unconscious and egoistic decisions. I don't know about everyone else but I still do make these mistakes, and I am still a work in progress every day.

Sardinelover made me laugh with this one: "If I got a dollar for every time a person here says that they are enlightened then immediately proceed to talk about their problems, I'd be $50 richer." :lol:

Oh and this from Jukai: "That's quite a statement, but let me try rephrasing it - if I got a dollar for every instance someone on this site simply parrots what Eckhart says, without showing any real understanding of it but pretending to understand, and then chastises others for being honest, I'd have enough money to move to Mars. " :lol:

I see two ego's at work there. And that's okay! IT HAPPENS TO ALL OF US. :D No one is perfectly perfect.

To the original poster, try not to ruminate on your guilt - let it go and move on, and try to live your life as honestly as possible going forward. :D
Posted by MissNikki.

LaetitiaBondy
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Re: Regret unconcious decisions

Post by LaetitiaBondy » Fri May 11, 2018 7:01 am

I agree people do regret making unconscious decisions.

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