Feeling empty inside

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Feeling empty inside

Post by winstonthebish » Sun Mar 24, 2019 9:15 pm

Lately I've been feeling empty inside. There is this void inside me, mixed with feelings of sadness. I can't really explain it. I try to go into it, stay with it, but it just makes me feel sadder. It just takes me over completely. I don't want to just play some upbeat music, or watch something funny, because I know that feeling will be back. I have plenty of pointers I use e.g "Accept what you can't accept", nature, negating time, obsessive thoughts as a reminder to stay present. They certainly help in day to day life. However, I just can't "go through" this sadness/emptiness. I have had it for at least 2-3 years, it comes up from time to time, especially Sundays where I have nothing to do. It can be kind of related to situations in my life. I know that right now it may have something to do with this girl I'm seeing who couldn't meet me this weekend. If she texts me later today, I'll probably feel a little bit better, and I know that this emptiness will subside sooner or later, but I also know it will come back. I don't want to be dependent on other people/things/situations to make it go away.

Even if I wasn't seeing anyone, it would appear either way. Coupled with maybe loneliness and looking at myself as victim, when I can't get girls or have more active friends who want to do things with me. Writing this out, I realise it may have something to do with fearing to be alone, but this emptiness also shows up when I'm with friends or even with that girl sometimes. What can I do about it? Do I just try to stay present over and over until it goes away? I can quiet the mind, and try to "look" at it, but it just stays there. It really is screwing with me, and I'm tired of it to the point of even crying in despair. Any help would be greatly appreciated!

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Re: Feeling empty inside

Post by Loffe » Tue Mar 26, 2019 8:56 am

If you have difficulties to being in presence when feeling that emptiness, which is probably painbody, use inner body awareness. Find how that feeling feels in the inner body energy field. Where it is. It can be contraction, pain, cold, buzzing or just part of the energy field you cannot feel yet. Try to feel the whole inner body energy field and then this particular area, then go back feeling the whole energy field. Play with it.
In my opinion, when we need to deal with painbody, inner body awareness is most effective at the beginning. We don't have much presence and tend to become a pain(identified with pain). Much easier is to see the pain in the inner body and realizing that we are not the pain but we FEEL pain.
I suggest also learn how to rest in the inner body energy field.

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