Being aware of being aware or resting as awareness?

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Nyseto
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Re: Being aware of being aware or resting as awareness?

Post by Nyseto » Mon Aug 10, 2020 12:44 am

Kiki, remember when you mentioned to keep one foot in activity and the other in awareness? Is that just a halfway stage in understanding that has to be abandoned as well since even the activity is ultimately awareness? Rupert Spira would mention how at first it's helpful to separate awareness from everything else so that we can differentiate between the mind and awareness but then he says that ultimately the mind is made out of awareness and as such awareness is the dissolving of subject and object. Since awareness is absolute then that means it has no opposite, not even conceptual knowledge can be its opposite since it is made of awareness itself. To the mind it may seem that one has to balance doing and being but from the perspective of awareness, doing is an expression of being, it is not separate from being. That's just what my experience shows me.

There is always going to be a much more subtle understanding of awareness or a more subtle thorn replacing a different thorn but ultimately nothing comes close. To even talk about awareness is blasphemy. I notice a tendency for the mind to try to hold onto even the most subtle concept bringing it closer and closer to the edge of its own end. There is no escape from love. I have come to know so much that I'm at the point where knowing anything fails me over and over again. I'm forced to just dissolve unless I want to suffer.
"There is no such thing as enlightenment. The appreciation of this fact is itself enlightenment." -Nisargadatta Maharaj

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Nyseto
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Re: Being aware of being aware or resting as awareness?

Post by Nyseto » Thu Aug 13, 2020 2:17 am

Had a few more insights the past couple of days. I've noticed that I have two modes of engaging about awareness depending on the type of person I'm talking to. If it's a non religious person, I use more practical words such as space, awareness, etc. If I'm talking to a Christian for example, then I talk about awareness using the word "God" instead. I've noticed that religious people and non religious people are two sides of the same coin: they both believe they are separate entities. More over, when I remain present and talk about these things, it is sometimes contagious to the other person and they become more alive or they become fearful as if I'm making them feel like they are "disappearing". I was talking to this one Christian and he was asking me if I believe in God. I told him I can't believe in something I already see. They couldn't believe what I said because they think God is beyond and can't be seen. However this moment is already beyond everything, no one has ever been able to find the essence of life. On top of that, the moment you believe in something, you automatically create doubt. This is why I see so many religious people in conflict with themselves, they are stuck in dualistic thinking and it reflects in their zest for life. Even though I see them as myself, there's compassion for them. This simple ordinary moment is all there is...just like God is all there is. My mind kept trying to play tricks on me that I'm going mad or crazy, but in fact I wasn't. That's my mind testing me to see if I can allow those thoughts the space to be. And above all that's what I've realized the most: all thoughts and emotions seek to be accepted..not changed or pushed away. I used to make mistake of trying to be present to get rid of thoughts and feelings but that's not what I really wanted. All I wanted was to be free. Not free from them, but free in the absolute sense. In a way you have to become a nobody to be free but at the same time you are still a somebody...you are the one self. That self is infinitely more beautiful because it's entirely fearless. Happiness/love/freedom is the absence of fear. This really is the natural state of everything, it could not be otherwise. All questions regarding "why life", "who am I" are utterly pointless to ask in hopes of getting an objective answer. We are the infinite potentiality that is inherent in existence, to this moment. People living in fear are not just afraid to die, they are also afraid to live. They want to exist outside of life and death, it's not possible. In life you find death, and in death you find life. The ego wants to be outside of this but it's too late, you're already alive! From the point of view of awareness, fear is the one thing it can't understand..meaning it can't understand its opposite because it doesn't have one! There is nothing but a deep silent openness that prevails. Even if fear existed, it would be transformed into love because everything is witnessed. Welcome the end of your mind because that's when you finally arrive back home.
"There is no such thing as enlightenment. The appreciation of this fact is itself enlightenment." -Nisargadatta Maharaj

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