Observing Pain Body and Addictive Voice

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Observing Pain Body and Addictive Voice

Post by heidi » Tue Aug 23, 2005 7:54 pm

In response to Ray's intro, I'm starting this topic. It could be put in Personal Experiences, but it fits here just fine too, since some may have general input.

To begin, I'll state that the addictive voice is what one hears and then makes a decision either to act on it (feed the addiction), to be dualiststic about and react to it as a negative thing, OR, to acknowledge - to observe it without an emotional charge, and decide to ignore it or just let it pass.
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Learn so much here...

Post by Sandy » Wed Aug 24, 2005 10:37 am

Hello Heidi, I have not posted here since shortly after I signed up. However, I usually check and read new posts every day or two, rarely missing more than a few days. In a way, I have not been posting because I did not want to be intellectualizing in words a lot of my recent experiences. I tend to word everything to death.

So many times over the last several weeks, I have been dealing with some setback, some return to negativity after a while of some progress. I drop in here as usual, and there will be posts that reflect my own issue. In reading Ray's intro and replies this morning, I feel so at home in my heart here. We are in this together.

The messages about watching the "addictive voice" or the flare-up of the "pain body" have been helpful. Actually for a few days I have been in a better mood and less in pain physically or mentally. Then, whammo, as I have seen before, some inner backlash occurs. I ate my way through a bag of those green leaf spearment candies while reading up on news topics last night on the Internet. My mind had wandered off out of the present moment indeed.

Seeing here how others have dealt with really huge challenges and reclaimed -- or maybe for the first time realized -- some "self-control" is encouraging. Except it is not about what we can make ourselves do ultimately. Looks like when I sign off, I am just going to witness a while what is going on inside and be with the anxiety and the calls of mindless addiction to food and news or whatever. Thanks for starting this topic. Sandy :wink:

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Post by erict » Wed Aug 24, 2005 9:20 pm

The pain-body... restlessness, anger, boredom, irritation, impatience, etc. Yeah, there's plenty of that in my everyday life.

Somehow none of those bother me as much as one other particular expression of the pain-body - depressiveness. It comes up every once in a while and although there is much less of it in my life than before, the important change, in my opinion, is that when it overtakes me and I start feeling bad about my life, there is some conscious awareness that I feel this way because I feel this way, and not so much because of the circumstances of my life. This changes a lot. Now instead of thinking that I need to fix my life, so that I could feel better, I know that I need to fix only myself. And maybe fix isn't a good word. To be at peace I know I don't need to fix anything, I just need to change my way of being.
"Be sincere; don't ask questions out of mere interest. Ask dangerous questions—the ones whose answers could change your life."

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Post by heidi » Thu Aug 25, 2005 12:24 am

Okay, so doing an addictive act such as smoking or eating or whatever in its essence is very un-present. You have to plan to do it, and then afterward you can have your remorse of the past that you did it. So that's the un-present part. But, for me, say, smoking is very grounding when I'm actually in the present and doing it. There is something about the actual act that is present , which may be why it's addictive - it's just all the stuff surrounding it that isn't :)
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Post by heidi » Tue Aug 30, 2005 3:24 pm

Relationships - From Addictive to Enlightened

Adapted from The Power of Now, by Eckhart Tolle (New World Library, 1999).

Simple Solution

Can we change an addictive relationship to an enlightened one?

What is an addictive relationship, anyway?

How do you define it?

More importantly, how do you transform it?

Find out what this great spiritual teacher has to say:

Every addiction arises from an unconscious refusal to face and move through your own pain.

Every addiction starts with pain and ends with pain.

Whatever you are addicted to--alcohol, food, legal or illegal drugs, or a person--you are using somebody or something to cover up your pain.

That is why, after the initial euphoria has passed, there is so much unhappiness, so much pain in intimate relationships.

They do not cause pain and unhappiness.

They bring out the pain and unhappiness that is already in you.

Every addiction does that.

Every addiction reaches a point where it does not work for you anymore, and then you feel the pain more intensely than ever.

This is one reason why most people are always trying to escape from the present moment and are seeking some kind of salvation in the future.

The first thing they might encounter if they focused their attention on the Now is their own pain, and this is what they fear.

But addictive relationships can be changed into true ones.

Being present and intensifying your presence by taking your attention ever more deeply in to the Now is the key, whether you are alone or living with a partner.

For love to flourish, the light of your presence needs to be strong enough so that you no longer get taken over by the thinker or the pain-body and mistake them for who you are.

To know yourself as the Being underneath the thinker, the stillness underneath the mental noise, the love and joy underneath the pain, is freedom, salvation, enlightenment.

If you stop investing it with “selfness,” the mind loses its compulsive quality, which basically is the compulsion to judge, and so to resist what is, which creates conflict, drama, and new pain.

The moment that judgment stops through acceptance of what is, you are free of the mind.

You have made room for love, for joy, for peace.

First you stop judging yourself; then you stop judging your partner.

The greatest catalyst for change in a relationship is complete acceptance of your partner as he or she is, without needing to judge or change them in any way.

That immediately takes you beyond the ego.

All mind games and all addictive clinging are then over.

There are no victims and no perpetrators any more, no accuser and accused.

This is also the end of all codependency, of being drawn into somebody else’s unconscious pattern and thereby enabling it to continue.

You will then either separate--in love--or move even more deeply into the Now together.


The Power of Now

Copyright: Adapted from The Power of Now, by Eckhart Tolle (New World Library, 1999). Copyright © 1999 by Eckhart Tolle. Reprinted by permission of New World Library.
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Post by heidi » Thu Sep 01, 2005 2:32 pm

Yesterday I neither smoked nor drank. When the addictive voice would pop in, I realized how that part of my mind is a prison, and like Summer (I think it was summer) who visualizes thoughts like water mist vaporizing, I see that part of my brain (and it's that lizard brain stem part where survival stuff has gotten perverted) as a jail cell, and the coolest thing is that my spirit can waft right out of there instead of staying with it. I am free, and that freedom and stillness is where the joy is :)

Also, I have decided that (paradoxically since I'm telling it here) that I'm not going to "ride" on the story, the story of the quest or the battle or the challenge or victory or whatever, since it is no longer that; that's just another brain/ego thing that puts your spirit back in the cell. I'm just observing that voice and my choice to be free of it... right now :)
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Post by Clare » Thu Sep 01, 2005 7:07 pm

Well, that's odd. It seems my post has disappeared altogether. Oh well, so long as you read it, Heidi.

Well done for bypassing the addicitve voice like that. I find it strange in myself how much I stay in places that don't empower me becasue, somehow, without consciousness, the familiarity feels safer.

I'm paying more attention also to what I do to avoid disomfort and pain. I ate a chocloate mousse today to avoid it, and the thing is, I am not sure yet what this deep seated pain is that I am avoiding.

Hoping this one manages to stay. If it's because of all the swearing and lewd comments in the last post, Heidi, you're just gonna have to tell me straight. :twisted:

Clare

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Post by barbarasher » Fri Sep 02, 2005 4:44 pm

who visualizes thoughts like water mist vaporizing,
Heidi, hi, I am the water vapor lady you mentioned.

I thoroughly enjoyed this posts.


The following is my story of overcoming an addiction.

As I may have mentioned once, Sept 15th will be one year since I gave up the habit of bulimia, which I had for 18years. I have also lost 5 kilo this year since then.

I actually stopped around the time I stated reading the first ET book "The Power of Now". I think it was while I was reading it.

I write this to be of help to you all, because obviously this subject is a bit embarrassing.

I did it without telling anyone that I would, since it was my dirty little secret that no one knew.

I was able to do it since my mind was quieter and there was less general pain of being alive (I don't mean physical pain).

There were two levels at which I gave it up.

One: Somehow with all the reading and journaling and thinking about presence and consciousness, I was overcoming my mind's addiction to thinking, thinking, thinking. This thinking is the cause of much pain for me. When this pain was lessened, the need for the food addiction was lessened. There was less pain and food was not the way to ease the pain. Food was less important. With my parents food is practically priority number one in life.

Two: Technically, I decide, that I wouldn't do it. When the urge came, I just felt the pain of wanting so much to eat, or the pain of having eaten too much of whatever of wanting to throw it up. I heard that the Kabala says that it takes 70 times to do something (or not to) to overcome a habit. The first few times, it hurt a lot, the wanting was so intense. After that it lessened, sometimes flaring up though.

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Post by heidi » Fri Sep 02, 2005 5:14 pm

Thanks Barbara, It was lazy of me not to go back and attribute the mist to the correct author :oops:

I am so glad you are sharing your experience with us, as you are helping other members so much. Thank you! :)
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Post by barbarasher » Fri Sep 02, 2005 5:54 pm

Don't be so hard on yourself, I never gave it a thought.

You do so much for this site. I am very thankful for that.

And I suspect like me sometimes you expect so much perfection of yourself.

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Post by heidi » Sat Jan 14, 2006 5:03 pm

I'm resurrecting this thread because of the heartfelt posts scattered about by be-lank about the lure of the forum, the paradox of its noisiness, and how being part of discussions brings about the same dynamics in some as any addiction.

So, what are the dynamics?

I think the biggest is the dualistic nature of wanting/not wanting; enjoying/admonishing.

And then there's that un-present aspect of anticipation, planning, and after either regret or some ego-based loss or victory.

I'm a rebel who often rebels against my own rules. :) Talk about dualism in addiction; that's where that picture of the devil on one shoulder and the angel on the other seems to have originated. :lol:

What say you?
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Post by phil » Sat Jan 14, 2006 6:02 pm

heidi wrote:I'm resurrecting this thread because of the heartfelt posts scattered about by be-lank about the lure of the forum, the paradox of its noisiness, and how being part of discussions brings about the same dynamics in some as any addiction.
Good move Heidi, I too thought be-lank opened an interesting door. I can certainly relate to her observations and experiences.
heidi wrote:I think the biggest is the dualistic nature of wanting/not wanting; enjoying/admonishing.
Could I invite you to expand on that a bit?

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Post by L. Bryson » Sat Jan 14, 2006 6:06 pm

Yes, all addictive behavior is grounded in a pain/ fear place
Again though, we are all subject to our own judgements. The mere fact that one has reached a place of self- observation is in itself a huge breakthrough into conciousness. You are now free to stop pushing the pellet dispenser and choose a healthier alternitive.


Be kind to yourselve's..... it all begins with self-love, 1st & foremost.
And desire to be free from creating more pain.
Desire= motivation=action= manifestation.



Love....L.
L. Bryson

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Post by heidi » Sat Jan 14, 2006 6:39 pm

heidi wrote:
I think the biggest is the dualistic nature of wanting/not wanting; enjoying/admonishing.


Could I invite you to expand on that a bit?
The most interesting thing about that dynamic is that something that is pleasurable becomes a burden. Something one desires becomes undesireable, and that's all mind stuff. To take away the charge, which is something we've created in our minds, is to take away the foundation of addiction.

I find that when I get really present, I am able to rest. I don't feel the need for nicotine or alcohol or caffeine to switch my consciousness. I can give myself the gift of relaxation, and maybe I am learning that the thing that could be called my "pain" is simply an unwillingness to give in to relaxation.

Also, to face whatever it is, the "pain" which I think for many is very hard to define and therefore acknowledge, underneath the substance, or shall I say the focus of the addiction, is to allow for presence. And the good news is: in presence there's no past or future, so addiction doesn't exist. :)


Professor Heidi
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Post by phil » Sat Jan 14, 2006 9:11 pm

Dear Professor Heidi,
heidi wrote: To take away the charge, which is something we've created in our minds, is to take away the foundation of addiction.
"To take away the charge"? Can you put that another way, I didn't follow.
heidi wrote: and maybe I am learning that the thing that could be called my "pain" is simply an unwillingness to give in to relaxation.
OK, that sounds interesting. Do you mean like you find yourself all wound up in errands and various activities as a way to fill the time and space and cover up the pain?

Or, is that not what you meant?

Busyness surely seems like it is often an addictive type behavior similar to forum discussions. Very clear in our house. I'm the philosopher type, so I come here to busy blowhard. Kathy isn't the philosopher type, so she does busy errands and stuff. Different flavors of the same thing it seems.

Neither of us want to spend the day just sitting in a chair being. I can do that for awhile if I have my nature crutch, but without the crutch it's tough sledding.
heidi wrote:Also, to face whatever it is, the "pain" which I think for many is very hard to define and therefore acknowledge, underneath the substance, or shall I say the focus of the addiction, is to allow for presence.
OK, facing the pain with presence. Can we observe that more closely?

I have some pain. I want to turn and face it, not paper it over with some form of busyness.

This is where it seems to get tricky. If I'm clear with myself, I observe my motivation for entering presence is to replace the pain with peace. The dogma says no, but common sense tells this is likely precisely why me and perhaps most of the rest of us are interested in presence. Just trying to be clear.

Is presence accepting what is, accepting the pain?

Or is presence yet another way to reject the pain?

Don't know. If your fingers feel like typing, I'm listening.

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