resisting and sexual attraction

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BrahmanEternal
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Post by BrahmanEternal » Mon Sep 10, 2007 1:01 am

shappy wrote:
BrahmanEternal wrote:Is there a way to speed up breaking free from this negative ruminations cycle?
I tried shouting "STOP!!!!! " :)
ha ha... I like that. :)

We all go through very similar situations... you're not crazy (confused, yes - crazy, no).
[no_ego]Why do you think i m confused?[/no_ego]
I'd love to share with you how I sped up breaking free from that negative cycle.

First of all, as a preface, I'll describe where I was at the time (which was only about a month ago). Essentially, I simply couldn't go on the way I was any longer. I was in therapy for years, I was recently separated and living back at home with my parents (I'm 31). I did not have a job, I was alone, and I had so many debilitating beliefs that I had a hard time picking up the phone and calling my banking representative for advice (I just thought she'd think I was stupid or something of the sort).
I can relate in a way, i m having hard time looking people at their faces because i might see darkest judgments on their face.
I'd also like to add that I think stuff like the law of attraction (and other similar techniques) ultimately just prolong a false reality. It's simply fine-tuning the delusion. If you feel truth in the process, then by all means go for it. Otherwise, stay away.
You can use LOA to visualize enlightenment, see yourself all happy, calm, serene, essence states, empathy.
You can also use other techniques like making a declaration "i will become enlightened", notice the positive vibrations these carry, these vibrations attract this kind of reallity. Because even enlightenment is a dream. It can not be understood but it can be dreamt about just as you dream about a mercedes or new house. Its a tool, it can be used or misused like any other tool.

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Seancho
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Post by Seancho » Mon Sep 10, 2007 1:25 am

shappy wrote: Then I realized that all the thoughts (and the emotions that followed) that created this distressed "me" were not actually me. I am separate from that. It's just a massive trick.
Kapow!

When the mind-generated pain is intense enough, and you realize that trying to fix it only makes it worse, all you can do is surrender. Then its you and the thoughts face-to-face, with no struggle.

And nothing happens. None of the dire predictions come true, none of the dreaded labels have any meaning at all. Its a fairy tale. All the pain and fear has been a big mistake.
If you stop believing in fear, is it still scary?

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BrahmanEternal
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Post by BrahmanEternal » Mon Sep 10, 2007 1:38 am

Seancho wrote:
shappy wrote: Then I realized that all the thoughts (and the emotions that followed) that created this distressed "me" were not actually me. I am separate from that. It's just a massive trick.
Kapow!

When the mind-generated pain is intense enough, and you realize that trying to fix it only makes it worse, all you can do is surrender. Then its you and the thoughts face-to-face, with no struggle.

And nothing happens. None of the dire predictions come true, none of the dreaded labels have any meaning at all. Its a fairy tale. All the pain and fear has been a big mistake.
Sounds so good.

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Seancho
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Post by Seancho » Mon Sep 10, 2007 1:45 am

BrahmanEternal wrote:Sounds so good.
Only one way to find out...
If you stop believing in fear, is it still scary?

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Post by BrahmanEternal » Mon Sep 10, 2007 1:49 am

I will not doubt my abillity to enlighten.
I will not think i m too stupid to reach it.

Imagining essence states exchanging.

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Post by BrahmanEternal » Mon Sep 10, 2007 1:51 am

Is having friends a delusion too?
I m feeling so alone.

shappy
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Post by shappy » Mon Sep 10, 2007 2:56 am

friends aren't a delusion, but what drives one to loneliness is.
BrahmanEternal wrote:
I'd also like to add that I think stuff like the law of attraction (and other similar techniques) ultimately just prolong a false reality. It's simply fine-tuning the delusion. If you feel truth in the process, then by all means go for it. Otherwise, stay away.
You can use LOA to visualize enlightenment, see yourself all happy, calm, serene, essence states, empathy.
You can also use other techniques like making a declaration "i will become enlightened", notice the positive vibrations these carry, these vibrations attract this kind of reallity. Because even enlightenment is a dream. It can not be understood but it can be dreamt about just as you dream about a mercedes or new house. Its a tool, it can be used or misused like any other tool.
To be quite honest, I don't even know what law of attraction is. But it sounds like it just perpetuates the belief that one's mind has the answers. I don't believe that it does. But it sounds kind of "cool"... if you try it out, I'd love to hear about your progress.

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Post by BrahmanEternal » Mon Sep 10, 2007 10:11 am

shappy wrote:friends aren't a delusion, but what drives one to loneliness is.
What drives one to loneliness is not so simple, people can be loving and compassionate but unfit.

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Post by shappy » Tue Sep 11, 2007 3:32 am

If they believe and think they are unfit, then they probably aren't unfit. If they are unfit then they probably don't realize (or care) that they are unfit. And if that's the case, then they probably aren't lonely. A pet can be a great friend, for example. Or even a plant.

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Resisting and sexual attraction

Post by presentlybythesea » Tue Sep 11, 2007 10:05 am

BrahmanEternal wrote:
shappy wrote:friends aren't a delusion, but what drives one to loneliness is.
What drives one to loneliness is not so simple, people can be loving and compassionate but unfit.
"People can be loving and compassionate but unfit." Loving and compassionate is the essence of Self. Unfit is an ego comparison to "others". Just be. No need to compare. Stop chasing. Just stop. It's been said, "When you always do what you always did you always get what you always got."
You're "stuck and stuck" I believe YOU said. Stuck in Loneliness.

Try doing things that are out of the circle of things you always do. Even if it's scary. Shake it up. Maybe a little Funetics. You may find yourself laughing and saying "screw it all". Something different may happen. Someone next to you might be laughing with you. Someone might be next to you. If so, that could be cool too.

I wish you peace
Presentlybythesea
Every encounter in the present, an opportunity to affect collective human consciousness.

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BrahmanEternal
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Post by BrahmanEternal » Tue Sep 11, 2007 12:54 pm

I m so insecure in myself that i will doubt almost every thought i have or anything i say to other person and probably will judge it as inadequate, not smart enough.
So i usually withdraw from people to not experience this wave of frustration and headache as i simply can not talk to them in peace without experiencing these obsessive thoughts.
I think this stems from the fear of lonelyness, i m so afraid of lonelyness that i simply can not relax, something is always on the line! Will they like me and if they dont omg i ll be lonely!
I think if i reached the present moment i would realize that its not so big anymore the stakes are not so high anymore i would experience lot less obsessive thoughts as result.
Ok there we go, all these big fears, one related to other.

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Post by mikel » Tue Sep 11, 2007 1:56 pm

YOU yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection. [Buddha]
If i saw you immerersed and suffocating in quicksand I would pull you out into open space where you can breath again.

to be immersed, suffocating in these thoughts you are having is not disimilar

but it is up to you to pull yourself out, no one or nothing else can or will do it...

trust the open space... trust yourself

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Post by eseward » Thu Sep 13, 2007 11:12 pm

Sorry if this doesn't sound too helpful, BrahmanEternal, but as long as you're identifying with those thoughts you mentioned (as long as you think they actually represent you), you're basically screwed into a life of suffering. No woman, no matter how beautiful, can alter your self-imposed suffering, regardless of your ego's opinion on the matter.

You might want to address first things first. It is amazing how conditions transform as we begin to fix our problem of mistaken identity. :)

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Post by BrahmanEternal » Fri Sep 14, 2007 12:53 am

No no i think you are right on the money, let me tell you what happened 5 years ago.
I was in a club and i felt very depressed that night, a charming girl approached me and hugged me , i said "why did you do that?" all in wonder, She said "You looked lonely and i wanted to make you feel better" with a nice smile on her face, so we chat a bit and she says "This is very important what i will tell you now, You have identity crisis, and it will get better" , i thought she means i have low self esteem and that i dont love myself much, but eversince i read about Buddhism and Tolle i truly realized what she meant with those words.
To hell with ego.
I think its only a matter of time before Brahman finds this gift called Presence and i think not all of the suffering but a big load will get off my shoulders then.
Brhaman thinks it will not use word I anymore because it carries wrong meaning, but dont worry Seancho i will not approach that girl as "Hi i m Brahmin the Eternal wanna meditate in extacy with me? *horny look*"
Today is funeral of the little me.

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Post by kiki » Fri Sep 14, 2007 1:21 am

eseward wrote:You might want to address first things first. It is amazing how conditions transform as we begin to fix our problem of mistaken identity.
Yup. It all goes back to that. Well said, eseward.

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