The knot of self-contraction

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dancer
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The knot of self-contraction

Post by dancer » Tue Sep 25, 2007 7:16 am

There is an unconscious activity you and I do all the time to maintain the separate sense of self.

I found tonight that when I see this activity at work and see that I am doing it, I also automatically drop the activity. When you do the activity and are aware of it, you realize how painful it is to maintain this activity, this separate sense of self.

So what I'm saying is that a totally unconscious activity was made conscious this evening by reading this:
Quote:
Full Awakening from the dream also requires self-understanding — understanding of the activity that is the ego.
Furthermore, from the Awakened Viewpoint, it is also clear that the reason “me” seems and feels in every way to be an absolute reality — despite the fact that it is not — is because of a primal activity of separation that each of us is doing unconsciously all the time. Literally, we are re-creating our “self” in every moment through an activity of “contraction” that is something like making a fist. Whatever else you may want to say about the occasional pleasures that can be experienced within the “me” capsule, they are nothing compared to the “open hand”, the Bliss felt when the sense of separation is transcended. The primal self-contraction also creates secondary “knots” throughout the body, some of which are directly recognizable by many people, such as the “vital shock” or knot near the navel or solar plexus.

So understanding of self is a matter of observing the “self” in feeling (not merely intellectually) to the degree that the primal act, the self-contraction, is discovered as one’s activity. That discovery, which Avatar Adi Da Samraj calls hearing, then becomes one’s capability from that point on. In any moment, one can directly locate this activity and feel beyond it, transcending the sense of being a separate self.
It should be noted that the self-contraction doesn't just stop forever after hearing. The self-contraction is a deeply ingrained habit. Hearing simply gives one the capability to not enact the self-contraction in every moment. But one must still remember and choose to do so in every moment. It's an easy choice to make though, because after hearing, the self-contraction is obvious, only painful, and easy to not do.

Penetrating to the core of the ego and discovering the sensation that is the self-contraction (the sense of being a separate self) is the same as discovering that the self-contraction is one's own activity. The moment of discovery is the moment of freedom, because the instant one discovers that the self-contraction is one's own activity, one can (and will spontaneously) stop doing it. But how do I discover that the sense of separation is my own activity? I have to consciously be the one doing that activity. It can’t be something I am “looking at” from the outside.
And then I sat still for awhile and saw for myself what it was I was doing to maintain this separate sense of self. It gave me much greater understanding in how the ego works.


The quote, by the way is from Adidam.
:)

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Seancho
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Post by Seancho » Tue Sep 25, 2007 7:48 am

Yeah, you can feel the contraction right in your body. Habitual muscle contractions. "Holding yourself together." "Getting a grip on yourself." And the contration stops the free flow of energy through the body. Thats what the ego does, tries to make flowing energy solid.

Thats why you get that amazing spacy body pleasure after a massage. My friend is a massage therapist and she tells me that people frequently burst into tears when massage loosens certain muscle groups.

All the same -- physical rigidity, mental rigidity, emotional rigidity. Modern humans are uptight, stressed out and tense.

Contraction on all levels, mental, emotional, physical. Thats the goal of the ego. Although the ego isnt really anything other than our own belief in separation.
If you stop believing in fear, is it still scary?

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Post by Webwanderer » Tue Sep 25, 2007 1:27 pm

Excellent posts. In light of this valuable pointer, that would make the ego a contraction of judgments and beliefs about life and the nature of identity.

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Post by kiki » Tue Sep 25, 2007 4:08 pm

Nice post, dancer, and good comments from Seancho and Webwanderer. What consciousness discovers is unconsciously held begins to dissolve.

dancer
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Post by dancer » Tue Sep 25, 2007 7:29 pm

Webwanderer wrote:Excellent posts. In light of this valuable pointer, that would make the ego a contraction of judgments and beliefs about life and the nature of identity.
There's more to it than that in my own experience.

I was able to see in a particular moment that the flow of energy or awareness was turned inward towards this so called "self" and it felt very restricting and painful.

So, what I'm trying to say is that anyone who is living the reality of being a separate person is actually doing an unconscious activity of turning the flow of awareness inwards unto the false self and this is how it is maintained. But it's unconscious until you actually see it.

In my case I saw it clearly because most of the time that activity had ceased and yet when it was pointed out in the quote I could could reboot the activity by seeing myself as a separate person. What's interesting is I tried to do again later and was unable to repeat it, I don't know why.
:)

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Post by dancer » Tue Sep 25, 2007 7:37 pm

So what I'm suggesting is that if you sit quietly and purposely see yourself as a separate individual, you may actually see the activity of turning inwards upon the self. It's like redirecting the flow unto itself, into a knot.
:)

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Post by Webwanderer » Wed Sep 26, 2007 1:11 am

dancer wrote:
Webwanderer wrote:
Excellent posts. In light of this valuable pointer, that would make the ego a contraction of judgments and beliefs about life and the nature of identity.
There's more to it than that in my own experience
dancer wrote:So what I'm suggesting is that if you sit quietly and purposely see yourself as a separate individual, you may actually see the activity of turning inwards upon the self. It's like redirecting the flow unto itself, into a knot.
You offered a valuable pointer in your expose' of clinching. I have a good sense, from observed experience, of how the clinching of consciousness creates a tension in perception, and thereby a separate sense of being. Within this tension, qualities of resistance resulting from judgment of imagined wrongs, and restricting beliefs about the separate nature of identity, form into an experience of personal individual existance.

There are many different takes possible as to how clinching is seen, and affects the observer/identifyer. Whatever works for you in clarifying the muddy waters of separate self identity can only be a good thing.

Still, a great insight, however it's used. :D

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