On resistance and awareness

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L. Bryson
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Joined: Sun Jan 08, 2006 10:39 pm
Location: No. Ca.

On resistance and awareness

Post by L. Bryson » Mon Jan 09, 2006 7:02 am

Reading away here this evening and throughly enjoying all topics and contributions. :) Recently I experienced a great and humorous awareness while attempting to assemble a new lamp I had purchased.
Although my attatchment to material objects has always been grounded in an " it is what it is " reality I freely and openly admit to a fetiish for unusual lamps. On this particular occasion my ego created the perfect excuse and rationalzation for why I deserved yet another artsy lamp.

The choice was concious albeit somewhat impulsive.
Upon arriving home with my latest " enlightend object " I set about assembling the lamp only to discover that the kid from the store had disassembled the lamp into 3 peices, one of which was NOT intended to be broken down. I set about forcefully attempting to put the lamp back together again determined that by sheer force and will I could somehow
jam the two cracked welds back together!

After sevral minutes of struggle and more thanm afew choice words I
composed myself and observed my resistance to what was.
Then I set up an entirely different scenario. I propped the lamp up against a wall, wedged between a table and corner chair convincing myself
that I could prop it up accordingly and maintain an illusion of uprightness!
Of course the physics of this broken lamp would not ( could not ) accomodate my dillusional thinking!

But THEN... the brilliant idea that I could tape the shade to the wall came over me! THIS WAS GOING TO WORK! I found a roll of packing tape and cleverly set about taping the shade to the wall. ( only untill I had the lamp repaired of course ) YEAH RIGHT, maybe when I'm 106!
Then the anger moment showed up, aaah yes! Quite amusing!
I sat down laughing outloud but still quite annoyed at the prospect of a 50 mile round trip return trek.

After collecting myself for a few minutes and apppriciating my awareness of this unfolding I determined to create a better outcome.
First the " A" word... acceptance... then a positive visual of the following days return trip replete with the intention of finding an even more wonderful lamp than this one.

And.... Lo and behold the next day there were 3 new lamps on display one of which was even more perfect than the original!
Hence " Rosemary" came to grace my living space.
Being present enough to watch this whole process unfold with humor and compassion for the programming was a blessed moment.

Just "seeing" myself, outside myself was brilliant.
A silly example perhaps but enlightening to me.
I'm still too new here, I'll save my Djembe playing goose story for another time!


L.
L. Bryson

DavidK
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Post by DavidK » Mon Jan 09, 2006 7:21 am

Hilarious! I love it. :D

-Dave

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spatialbean
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Post by spatialbean » Mon Jan 09, 2006 9:10 am

Wow! Taping it to the wall?? hahahahaha Now that's determination.

Ok let's hear about the drumming goosey.

Spill it!

be-lank
Posts: 415
Joined: Thu Nov 10, 2005 7:50 pm

Post by be-lank » Mon Jan 09, 2006 6:46 pm

Hi L,

Wonderful, humorous story! And one we can all identify with- struggling with objects. Trying to make them work! And how well you used this experience for acceptance!

Now about this fetish for lamps. Maybe we can shed some Light on this!

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