Desire Versus Preference

A place for anything that doesn't fit into the existing forums
Post Reply
the key master
Posts: 2078
Joined: Sun May 25, 2008 4:23 pm

Desire Versus Preference

Post by the key master » Sun Jul 13, 2008 8:32 pm

In Anthony De Mello's Awareness, he speaks on transmuting desires into preferences. (p. 108)

Desires lead to thrills, and by far my largest barrier to presence has been identification with these thrills, with excitement. On some level, believing that I was that excitement. After reading a few spiritual books, I stopped placing demands on the present moment. The problem was that I suppressed, rather than transmuted, my desires. On several occassions, I found myself with little energy to do anything. I didn't want to work, I didn't want to play. I felt like a zombie. Suppression obstructs understanding. Rather than suppress, or brush desire under the rug, understand it. Understand that the excitement experienced when desires are fulfilled are not who you are. Observe how you feel after exciting experiences pass. Is there a void? If there is, realize you are identifying on some level with experience. As all experience is fleeting, your sense of self necessarily diminishes. Realizing this identification within the field of awareness will transmute your desires into mere preferences. You can still experience excitement, but you are aware it is not who you are. The void left as thrilling experiences pass will eventually shrink into nothingness and corresponding depression/loneliness will evaporate. Prefer, don't desire. Accept, don't demand.

Best,
Jason

User avatar
RHRippere
Posts: 12
Joined: Sun Jul 13, 2008 9:02 am
Location: Present

Re: Desire Versus Preference

Post by RHRippere » Sun Jul 13, 2008 9:57 pm

Dear Key Master,

Very well put!

It's adrenalin we crave. I am guessing every emotion, touch, vision, sensation is served up with a garnish of adrenalin - and maybe, too, adrenalin comes in so many different "flavors" that we CRAVE each drip of adrenalin during that hang-gliding moment, that bang of the slamming door, the gust of mountain air, the barked order, the compliment in passing, the insult in passing.

I like how you take away all of the controlling power in DESIRE by changing this word to PREFERENCE. We can take away the CONTROL of desire and adrenalin! It does not have to lead me around by the nose - I can lead it simply by preferring it, opting for it when the moment is right.

User avatar
Sighclone
Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 6375
Joined: Wed Feb 13, 2008 6:22 pm

Re: Desire Versus Preference

Post by Sighclone » Mon Jul 14, 2008 5:57 am

I love deMello - he has the best sense of humor of any nondualist! In an earlier section in 'Awareness', just preceding the one referenced by keymaster, deMello reminds us that desires incline us to say "Unless I get what I desire, I refuse to be happy." Sure sounds like a big busy ego to me, and encourages attachment.

Andy
A person is not a thing or a process, but an opening through which the universe manifests. - Martin Heidegger
There is not past, no future; everything flows in an eternal present. - James Joyce

the key master
Posts: 2078
Joined: Sun May 25, 2008 4:23 pm

Re: Desire Versus Preference

Post by the key master » Mon Jul 14, 2008 9:21 pm

Yes DeMello, in my view, speaks more of the common man language. Very relatable and thoroughly enjoyable.

User avatar
heidi
Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 2703
Joined: Tue Nov 23, 2004 12:37 am
Location: 42nd parallel, Massachusetts, USA
Contact:

Re: Desire Versus Preference

Post by heidi » Tue Jul 15, 2008 12:03 am

Trust intuition, and then you'll see the difference between preference and desire, - Actually, it is neither.
Heidi
http://www.heidimayo.com
wonderment on the third wave

Post Reply