Shift

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dancer
Posts: 216
Joined: Thu Feb 02, 2006 5:44 am
Location: Ottawa, Canada

Shift

Post by dancer » Tue Mar 21, 2006 6:20 pm

Yesterday, my mother came over and as she sat down, she noticed something written on a piece of paper, taped to the computer monitor. She is naturally curious about this "transformation" taking place within me, she can sense it but doesn't understand what is happening.

So she was looking at this piece of paper and then sat down, and I said, "Nosy, aren't we". And she said, "Yes, I'd love to know what is written on that piece of paper". Her eyesight is failing and couldn't read it. So I asked her if she would like me to read it to her and I did. This is what I read:

"The challenge of enlightenment is not simply to glimpse the awakened conditioned, nor even to continually experience it, but to be and express it as your self in the way you move in this world."
After I read it, she said the same thing she says every time I talk to her about this subject "I don't understand". And so I said "What it says in a nutshell is that when you know you are God, you should act accordingly". And she said "Sometimes I really don't understand you" and the subject was dropped at that point.

Later in evening, after I had driven her home, I was perusing the boards, reading different threads and posting, generally doing what I do every evening at that time.

Suddenly I realized something I had posted was egoic and I was stopped in my tracks by that realization. I wondered what to do next, I could change the post or just leave it, I decided to edit the post.

After I had done that, something else hit me. And it hit me really hard!

I remembered what I had told my mother that afternoon.

I told her I was God!!!

I had been identified with what I told her, and actually believed what I was saying.

I could not believe I had done that, I was really upset.

And that's when it happened, I stopped again in my tracks and said to myself. "Hey who is upset here?" and after I came to the realization that the answer was nobody, I also realized it was nobody who had told my mother that I was God.

The mind immediately shut down because it could not deal with this.



I went to bed later and woke up in early morning and was semi-conscious when I had the impression something was going in consciousness.

I had the peculiar sensation or thought that awareness was aware of itself for the first time.

This was confusing at first because I thought I had been aware of it for a long time now.

But then I started waking up a little more, became more aware of the situation and felt something was quite different.

Awareness aware of itself had an entirely different quality to it.

And I was deliberately thinking of something, like what is the formula for the circumference of a circle, that it's pie times the radius squared, or what is the formula for the radius etc.... Time and time again I wanted to think, because something was different and I wanted to put my finger on it.

And so I realized something is very different.

A shift has occured.

Instead of being the "little me" consciousness in the mind, a shift in identity seems to have taken place, I am now identified with the space that the mind is in.

So when I am thinking , I am actually aware of the "little me" consciousness that is contained within the space that I am.

This seems to be a really radical shift, and I like it!!!

I don't feel cramped in the "little me" consciousness that I had been complaining about the other day while I was walking in the mall.

Something else about this shift that I notice.

When I am focusing on thinking, on posting, it's as if I am focusing my consciousness in (drawing it into) the mind. When I stop thinking, I stop focusing, there is a natural expansion of consciousness back into "space" which I am, which feels like Home.

This is really new to me, feedback would be appreciated.
:)

dancer
Posts: 216
Joined: Thu Feb 02, 2006 5:44 am
Location: Ottawa, Canada

Post by dancer » Tue Mar 21, 2006 8:09 pm

"This is really new to me, feedback would be appreciated."


Says the ego.

Ok, so there is identification here with the "story" of becoming, with the transformation process.

Is this a problem?

A problem for whom?

Since "the little me" isn't really real, who would have a problem with this?

And what about you guys, I'm beginning to have serious doubts about all of you.

As Ramana says, once the "I" arises, the other pronouns arise also, but what about when the "I" falls away? Then what? Eh?

It seems very peculiar to me, that no matter where I'm at, somebody manages to post something that is very useful to "me". Or I find it on my "own".

For instance Being of now just posted this:
"Do not seek any experiences, for they are fleeting and will melt like a snowflake in spring.

Simply Be Here Now with simple Awareness without thought and Wholness without distinction"
This really "sings" to me. It's right on.


But where does this come from really?

And do I really need it?

Or is this just all a play of form?



I notice every time I think, I get in trouble, I paint myself into a corner somehow. It's like a house of mirrors. :lol:
:)

Wings
Posts: 142
Joined: Thu Mar 16, 2006 8:50 pm

Post by Wings » Wed Mar 22, 2006 12:23 am

Hi Dancer,

As a concerned person, reading this and others, I come away knowing this is open mind chatter, noise, refuge dispelling itself in print. It was tedious, overbearing nit picking which is all to familiar and yes, nerve racking. It appears that you feed off of it (pain body) and identify with this feed fest as a normal transition one must accept as part of your spiritual quest. IMHO, not so. Incessant, minute examination, nit picking, if you will, adds credence to it and the pain body adores you for it. You’re the (Pain Bodies) pain slave and you know it but have some morbid, entertaining fascination with it which apparently garners you (pain body) others attention and which you allow to flourish. In other words, you are your pain body and your pain body can be a voracious (attention suck).:twisted:

Don’t feed it, let go, surrender and recognize its futileness and become the director of this production by giving it “no more than a glance” and weed out (ignore detrimental mine based illusions), your conscious self is well aware of it’s uselessness but your attention to it compels credence.

Liberation opens the door to your other self. The good and gentle self. You’ll get fewer complaints out of him…….:D

dancer
Posts: 216
Joined: Thu Feb 02, 2006 5:44 am
Location: Ottawa, Canada

Post by dancer » Wed Mar 22, 2006 6:00 am

Hey Wings!
You’re the (Pain Bodies) pain slave and you know it but have some morbid, entertaining fascination with it which apparently garners you (pain body) others attention and which you allow to flourish. In other words, you are your pain body and your pain body can be a voracious (attention suck).

Gotta whip??? :lol: :lol: :lol:
:)

dancer
Posts: 216
Joined: Thu Feb 02, 2006 5:44 am
Location: Ottawa, Canada

Post by dancer » Wed Mar 22, 2006 6:10 am

Don’t feed it, let go, surrender and recognize its futileness
This is good advice Wings. I don't feel I am feeding ego anymore at least not when I'm conscious. But clearly ego is still arising in the present moment and since I allow the present moment to be exactly as it is, then it is as it is.

Besides the arising of ego is not really seen to be such a problem anymore. It's seems more like a dying animal thrashing around. :)

As for posting everything that is happening in the now, I'm no longer "going there" as to why it's happening. Lets just say it is as it is.
:)

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Clare
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Post by Clare » Wed Mar 22, 2006 11:34 pm

Hey Dancer,

It's clear you are going through a spiritual process.

All of it is okay.

Spiritual narcissism is something that you might want to look up.

Nearly all people who reach for the chakras beyond the 7th, go through the heart in a way that often leads to "ME , and what about me, let's marvel at the fascinatediness of me" . And it's right.

Of course you are God. Who else would you be but product of your creator?

God's a tricky word, though. It never means what you think it does :)
"The day is full of birds.
Sounds like they're saying words."

Kate Bush - "Aerial"
:)

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