How to push oneself to go back to work

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eagle2phoenix
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How to push oneself to go back to work

Post by eagle2phoenix » Mon Mar 02, 2009 4:11 am

Having suffered from depression for 5 years, still under therapy/on medication and medically boarded out 6 months ago by former employer, how does one prepare oneself to go back to work when one is aged 45? One cannot think deeply as one is often just sitting down reading or listening to the sounds around or walking in the park or gardening. One is somewhat lost and confused on whether one is truly aware or not.

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Onceler
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Re: How to push oneself to go back to work

Post by Onceler » Mon Mar 02, 2009 4:16 am

There's walking in the park awareness and going back to work awareness. Aren't they the same?

You've done it before and can do it again. Going to work will certainly hone what you learned in the last six months....
Be present, be pleasant.

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Re: How to push oneself to go back to work

Post by eagle2phoenix » Mon Mar 02, 2009 4:31 am

but one feels fearful. One is uncertain if one can fit in to society again. The superficial society.
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Re: How to push oneself to go back to work

Post by Onceler » Mon Mar 02, 2009 4:35 am

Fear is okay.

How can society be superficial if you experience it in a deeper way?
Be present, be pleasant.

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Re: How to push oneself to go back to work

Post by eagle2phoenix » Mon Mar 02, 2009 5:06 am

because I feel superficial in all my social interactions. We talk about things which seem so unreal like politics. I just spent several days away from my own family, to be with my own siblings. I find that I have to put on different masks. I became a sister to 2 older sisters and 1 older brother. The 2 older sisters are trying to get me out of my "depression". They talk about so many things which I feel do not benefit my spiritual self. I would have preferred to remain unattached but I have to play the role. I could see how the different egos of my siblings work in situations. It makes me almost sick.
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Re: How to push oneself to go back to work

Post by Webwanderer » Mon Mar 02, 2009 2:29 pm

eagle2phoenix wrote:because I feel superficial in all my social interactions. We talk about things which seem so unreal like politics. I just spent several days away from my own family, to be with my own siblings. I find that I have to put on different masks. I became a sister to 2 older sisters and 1 older brother. The 2 older sisters are trying to get me out of my "depression". They talk about so many things which I feel do not benefit my spiritual self. I would have preferred to remain unattached but I have to play the role. I could see how the different egos of my siblings work in situations. It makes me almost sick.
Look at it as progress. You were seeing conditions without identification with them. Recognition of playing a role is a perception from a clearer perspective. Continue and that perspective will deepen and become clearer still. With patience you will find it a more peaceful sanctuary to live from while the roles (yours and other's) play out. Now just recognize the judgment that makes you sick. You can't change other's ego identification, and attempts to do so (and unconscious judgments are an indication that something inside you believes they should be different) only separate you from presence.

WW

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