the one grudge i cant drop!

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void
Posts: 140
Joined: Mon Feb 27, 2006 12:45 pm
Location: preston, england
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the one grudge i cant drop!

Post by void » Sun Apr 26, 2009 2:05 am

I like to think of myself as aptetty easy going guy... it takes alot to provoke me. And i let things go that others generally wont or cant. Yet theres one grudge i cant seem to drop, that is towards my dad!!! He has seen me , and the rest of my family stuggle, financially, emotionally, etc... and done nothing to help... he has in fact in the past said . ... he doesntbelieve in helping others! ive lost jobs, been penniless, been upset, and he hasnt helped at all.
he has never bothered with his grandchildren, never shown the slightest bit of intrest in anyone buthimself. I know that he hs nearly £200,000 ($400,000) approx in the bank, but whenever ive mentioned financial difficulties he says he has nothing!... then two weeks later tells me hes off on a world cruise!
I still contact him, rang him, and cared for him when his partner died... but to notmuch avail really... he s my dad... i love him , but dont like him much... i know that sounds horrible. Thousands of times ive resigned mself to these facts, and told myself that he is missing out on family time, social gatherings, and just the company of his family, but whatever i do this grudge wont go away... i have confronted him and he says its jus the way he is....... any ideas? anyone else in this situation? let me know.
j.gibirdi

PlutoISaplanet
Posts: 33
Joined: Sun Sep 03, 2006 3:12 am
Location: Oregon

Re: the one grudge i cant drop!

Post by PlutoISaplanet » Sun Apr 26, 2009 2:46 am

Hi Void. I feel as though you could be helped greatly by using the four questions of Byron Katie regarding the situation with your father. Your belief, "My father should help me out financially" bears some examining. If you're not familiar with Katie's work, here are the four questions:

Is it true?

Can you absolutely know that it's true?

How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought?

Who would you be without that thought?

As I see it, your resistance to the situation as it is, and your insistence that your father act differently, are what's causing your suffering. For example, my father never helped out myself and my six siblings financially at all. We all worked to put ourselves through university, paid for our cars, our weddings, etc. I never suffered from this, because I never had the belief that he should help us out financially.

karmarider
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Joined: Wed Mar 25, 2009 8:00 pm
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Re: the one grudge i cant drop!

Post by karmarider » Sun Apr 26, 2009 3:58 am

Look into a release method that may work for you: EFT, Sedona, release, Byron Katie, and so on. Accept completely what you feel, and observe the feelings without judgment.

void
Posts: 140
Joined: Mon Feb 27, 2006 12:45 pm
Location: preston, england
Contact:

Re: the one grudge i cant drop!

Post by void » Sun Apr 26, 2009 12:40 pm

thanks guys will look into it... i cant go on feeling lke this all my life... i know that!
j.gibirdi

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