lucy wrote:7Worlds,
Would you say that your actions are based on an impulse rather than thought? For example, you come to a fork in a road, you have an impulse to take the longer route, but you are running late for an appointment, you decide to take the longer route because you are honouring an impulse that arises as opposed to what your mind thinks you should do?
I'm not sure I'd use the word "impulse" because it has connotations, as if it's a rash decision. It's a feeling as if the energy of life - whatever that is - is guiding or urging but not that it's a separate entity. It can happen in different ways depending on the situation. Sometimes it is clear in advance, like with moving flat. It comes up as an insight/thought (I don't really know), you know its going to happen but you don't know how, and so then you forget about it and leave life to sort out the details. So then when the time comes it is quite clear. Although anything can change it at any moment. Mostly you just DO completely spontaneously in the moment. The action is so at one that you don't even know you have done anything. It's only later you can see the synchronicity of it. Now and again there may even seem to be indecision, as if you have to watch the body delaying over something. The seeming indecision is not treated any different because you aren't labelling it, but from the point of view of an onlooker, it might look like your hesitating. In your example I would have to follow through on the long route.
A good place to see this in action is in conversation. So much of our conversation is conditioned, a total waste of energy. All the pointless niceties, "hi, how are you? blah blah blah...". That can be difficult to overcome because we want to be polite and liked by others. There's many who envision the 'enlightened state' as being full of love and compassion, as if you'll be so outwardly warm and friendly to all. I'm keen to point out that is false. People get this idea that everyone will want to be around you but it's not the case. There are many times when that urge will not want to say anything. For a long time I found phone calls to family and others difficult because it seemed too forced to go through all the pleasantries and talk about rubbish. I just couldn't do it anymore. That makes some people feel very uncomfortable when you are with them and hardly say a word or don't give the reactions they expect. Someone got annoyed because I hadn't congratulated them on their wedding. I don't celebrate Christmas or birthdays anymore. It's not that I'm against them but they just don't mean anything to me anymore. I'll still take part if I'm asked and feel like it but you won't catch me getting into the festive spirit because I can't relate to it. Most people around you, and especially those who know you well, will not understand all of this. They think they know you and so its in their interests to keep you as you are. If you start following that spontaneous inner drive it will threaten their identity. If you stop celebrating Christmas and explain why, they don't want to hear it because they might just see what an insane event it actually is. You have to have the strength and courage to stand firm to what your own self is telling you even when those around give you crap for it. For most of my 20s I felt in despair because I seemed to be isolating myself. I felt like it was happening out of my control but now it makes perfect sense. I now only have a handful of people I deal with regularly and they are very understanding. The rest of them weren't meant to come along for the ride and so life removed them one way or another. It created space I needed to listen to this and be myself, and so now, I know those who end up around me will take me as I am or move on.
It's like when I post here. You may get the impression I have a lot to say and I'm like this all the time but we are here to discuss this. It's like it fires into life whenever this is the topic of conversation while the rest of the time it's bear minimum of conversation to get by. Not always. I have to listen to that same pulse of life wherever and whatever. Whereas others may deliberately limit their posts because they don't want to offend others or be taking over, I can't put those boundaries down. I might post 5 times a day for weeks and then you may not hear from me for months. I never know. If I read a post, and something is there, ready to come out, I have to follow through. I can't say to myself "no, I better wait a few days because I've already posted too much". Who would be applying that as a rule? This happens with food also. I might go 3 months where the body is craving sweet things. The thought might come "this is unhealthy", but I must listen to the body. So you surrender to it and follow it through whole-heartedly. Then it might suddenly change to lots of dairy stuff and completely not interested in sugary foods. You can't do that if you're listening to what all the 'experts' are telling you. I pretty much eat the same thing for my tea (dinner) every night. Some would wonder how I could do that at first because their mind craves varieties of taste. It seems fresh to me every time. I used to eat meat regularly but hardly ever now. It's not that I'm a vegetarian but I just know the body doesn't want it. Now and again I might. I would much rather be writing music and expressing what I need to express through music but for some reason I find this is the main form of expression right now. The aches, pains and movements in the body make it difficult to do music whereas typing words is one thing I can do so maybe that's why. I don't know.
Sorry this is so long, I have to say it like this. Some of you might be interested in watching these two videos of Mooji I came across the other day. The first clip relates to what I've just written and the other is a longer interview and although it's not the same I can recognise many of Mooji's experiences:
Don't Disturb Your Natural Silence -
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2AZhvAAvk4U
Concious TV interview -
http://conscious.tv/consciousness.html? ... 2541431001
