Awakening in troubled marriage

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OneLove
Posts: 86
Joined: Mon May 11, 2009 5:50 am

Re: Awakening in troubled marriage

Post by OneLove » Tue May 26, 2009 7:38 am

You should definitely try to change your situation the best you can. Don't let your spirituality interfere with maintaining a functioning and healthy family. Don't just "stay present" and let your daughters succumb to emotional abuse. If things are starting to gall into disarray, now is not the time for spirituality. You've got to remember that this is your own personal gamble with truth and that you shouldn't be letting it interfere with your family life. Most people don't share this same belief with you, and I'm betting that your husband and young children definitely don't. Your family needs you... Don't leave them for "nirvana". Be responsible... please.

nutrition
Posts: 344
Joined: Mon May 11, 2009 12:15 pm

Re: Awakening in troubled marriage

Post by nutrition » Tue May 26, 2009 9:01 am

OneLove wrote:Don't just "stay present" and let your daughters succumb to emotional abuse. If things are starting to gall into disarray, now is not the time for spirituality. You've got to remember that this is your own personal gamble with truth and that you shouldn't be letting it interfere with your family life. Most people don't share this same belief with you, and I'm betting that your husband and young children definitely don't. Your family needs you... Don't leave them for "nirvana". Be responsible... please.
Staying in the present has meant, for me, staying fully present, not just staring at the wall. i take care of the family fully. the home is fuctioning, i am a perfectly functioning individual from the "uncoscious or main stream" point of view.
OneLove wrote:You should definitely try to change your situation the best you can. Don't let your spirituality interfere with maintaining a functioning and healthy family.
the whole point of ET teaching is really not to try and change anything but to accept it as is. then act upon it. it is in the acting upon part, the letting go of my relationship with my husband that i am having a hard time. this is becaouse i do not come from presence right now. i have climpses of it but my decisions are still all mind made. i am not letting the greater intelligence come thru me and act.
my husband is not yelling or screaming. he treats me like a friend. he is also unfaithfull but he isn ot bringing women at home nor receiving calls from them in our presence nor forcing me to sleep with him...he really treats me like a friend. i love him and want the best for him. a real act of love would be to let him go. i really have to admit i do not know what letting go really feels like in practice. i have all the concepts and nice descriptions (as much as words can really do that...only pointers really) but i do not know how to practice the letting go. i would if i could, but still i do not live in full presence yet
blessings

spiritual_guidance
Posts: 3
Joined: Fri May 22, 2009 12:57 am

Re: Awakening in troubled marriage

Post by spiritual_guidance » Tue May 26, 2009 8:53 pm

With all the positive feedbacks I got from this forum, as well as getting more practical tips from Dr. Phip's Rescue Relationship, I had a very positive experience this weekend with my husband.

I explained to him why we fought, and how we were unconscious, it is of no one's fault because our pain bodies were activated. I also showed him that by not allowing our egos to get in the way, we can help each other to stay presence, and avoid pain body to take over, so we can minimize conflicts. My positive energy was flowing this weekend because of the awakening exercise, our communcation was very positive, and we are now committed to help each other to overcome our very dense pain bodies and be loving to each other.

I was never at ease with communicating difficult feelings, or in difficult situations. You guys are right that my husband is my spiritual teacher and this trial was a big awakening. Not only that I feel the inner space, I am finding happiness once again in a very short period of time. I know this positive energy is inspiring my husband, and he is slowly seeing the grace of God.

Nutrition, I wish you all the luck. The good old heart-to-heart talk will help, maybe it will free you up from the current dysfunctional relationship if he no longer loves you or sees the goodness in you, or it will be an big awakening to him, when he sees that you are flowing with positive energy and is the same woman he used to fall in love with. Either way, have to courage to talk to him and shared the lessons that you learned from the painful experience, and that you are finally awakened. Best wishes.

nutrition
Posts: 344
Joined: Mon May 11, 2009 12:15 pm

Re: Awakening in troubled marriage

Post by nutrition » Tue May 26, 2009 9:45 pm

Thank SG and Mistral for your wonderful and inspiring post. SG, i am happy for you and your husband you seem to go towards a conscious relationship.
I am listening to J.Lennon's mind games song. listening to music seems to help me and mind games seems to be very appropriate for this situation. my husband is truly into a mind game with himself... for a while now, the game is: i can do absolutely what i want even if i am still married,i know i can be happy with someone else and not with you...you are the past that keeps coming up again and again. ET says you really need lots of presence to be with someone you share a lot of past with. My husband has no presence so how can he cope with me if all he sees is me as i acted a year or more ago (he still thinks of stuff i did 15 years ago!!! I am sure.
I have changed, i am pleasant and most of the time consciuos. in the world of forms i would be described as attractive, educated etc...
I had a heart to heart talk with him on Fri. He is not on my same wavelenght and still left to spend the week-end elsewere (and maybe with someone else.) i had a bad rash a few days ago and had to go to the dermatologist, he never even asked me about it. he looked at me as if i had leprosy. this is what life piles on you...i welcome it. he is like that with all his close family, all the people he knows well:detached. but if some aquitance or someone new has a problem then he seems to become really caring...i don't know i think he is cut off totally from his feelings. he needs some strong emotions from the outside to be able to respond...
i love him and accept him in absolutely every aspect every thing. he is not mine. I am not mine.
Blessing

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