losing interest/having no personality

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lord12
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losing interest/having no personality

Post by lord12 » Fri Jun 19, 2009 11:53 pm

I've been practicing the PON for quite some time. But I realize that I have lost my sense of humor. I've become indifferent and very quiet. My mind is absolutely blank sometimes. Is this bad?

Plorel
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Re: losing interest/having no personality

Post by Plorel » Sat Jun 20, 2009 12:37 am

hmm... Maybe a sign that you "practise" it too much and "live" it too little?
Just go with the flow, let it unfold and enjoy the experience :)

peace
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Re: losing interest/having no personality

Post by Ananda » Sat Jun 20, 2009 12:45 am

lord12 wrote:I've been practicing the PON for quite some time. But I realize that I have lost my sense of humor. I've become indifferent and very quiet. My mind is absolutely blank sometimes. Is this bad?
Only the mind could ask such a question. Indefference and quietness are noble qualities, enjoy that, dwell in that silence, bliss comes with it, and you will start to laugh at everything!

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Re: losing interest/having no personality

Post by domokato » Sat Jun 20, 2009 2:51 am

That is similar to what happened to me. I think that means that you have stabilized in presence and that now you can start living everyday normal, egoic life and not get lost in it like you used to. So go ahead :). Let yourself have a sense of humor again.
~housecat

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Re: losing interest/having no personality

Post by Sighclone » Sat Jun 20, 2009 6:18 am

I like what Domokato says. Explore the world of classical music. See if there is some resonance there for you. Do not bemoan the loss of a sense of humor right now. It's likely to be a little different when it returns, which it will, naturally. Spend some time with children and in nature. Relax...

Namaste, Andy
A person is not a thing or a process, but an opening through which the universe manifests. - Martin Heidegger
There is not past, no future; everything flows in an eternal present. - James Joyce

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Re: losing interest/having no personality

Post by Electrophant » Sat Jun 20, 2009 6:34 am

YES! This happens to me too. This is deep inner peace. Sometimes my mind is so shut off I don't even decipher and compute what people are saying or read words on things, just seeing the shapes and colors.

You will have to use your mind in this world, but use it as a tool, then put it away when you don't need it. In this world, it's better to turn the mind off when alone....or people will think you're on drugs, which can be funny too. Accept it as it is and just be aware of both your body and everything around you.

If your egoic mind is saying that you have no personality or are indifferent, just let it do its thing and be aware that it's thinking, smile at it, laugh.

Just bask in the Isness. We can 'feel' the essence of everything in this mode...Look at anything intensely and and you can feel it say "I see you looking at me." This is being. But we do need to interact in this dimension...even enjoy form --without identification.

If I don't want to be quiet, what works for me is this: just start moving your body. Move your hands around in front of your face and just look at them as they are moving. This will make you smile (or usually just bust out laughing) and you feel enthused to do anything and have fun.

Yes turn on your mind to function in the physical world, don't let it carry you away though. Use it to PLAY with this world, PLAY with people. Since you know nothing real can be threatened, you can't take anything too seriously...life becomes a big game --free of worry and full of joy.

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Re: losing interest/having no personality

Post by Sighclone » Sat Jun 20, 2009 6:36 am

We can 'feel' the essence of everything in this mode...Look at anything intensely and and you can feel it say "I see you looking at me." This is being.
Very nice, E-phant...

Namaste, Andy
A person is not a thing or a process, but an opening through which the universe manifests. - Martin Heidegger
There is not past, no future; everything flows in an eternal present. - James Joyce

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Re: losing interest/having no personality

Post by Webwanderer » Sat Jun 20, 2009 6:15 pm

lord12 wrote:I've been practicing the PON for quite some time. But I realize that I have lost my sense of humor. I've become indifferent and very quiet. My mind is absolutely blank sometimes. Is this bad?
It's a commom "zombie" state that one goes through in the transition from a purely ego identification and world view, to a more awakened state of presence awareness. Remember the reference by some ancient master:
First there is a mountain,
Then there is no mountain,
Then the mountain is once again.

(forgive the paraphrase if the wording is not quiet accurate)

First there is a mountain - The normal everday perception of an ego/mind based identity/perspective. This is the normal life of a consciousness living through adopted concepts and random stories. Appearances are accepted as reality.

Then there is no mountain - Everything is seen a BS. It's all illusion. The process of awakening and developing clear sight turns one into a kind of mindless zombie because all previously held references are suspect. There is a transition from established concepts as one adjusts to seeing without the habitual lens of previously held perspectives. This is a challenging state as one's familiar world is lost and one often finds him/her self alone in a seemingly unfamiliar condition.

Then the mountain is once again - A gradual return to integration with appearances takes place, only now with a new paradigm or perspective from which to view our life's conditions. No longer are we so likely to be seduced by emotional judgments and appearances. There is a new transparency that allows us to engage with life in ways that promotes healing and integration. There is much of the old perspective that may continue to raise its head, but in general clarity reigns and such invasions are short lived. Truth is now seen in a way that is not easily forgotten. But the pure zombie is gone. There is still a prefenence for alone times, but they are not lonely. Rather they are embraced as a condition of renewal. The world is not entirely avoided but seen as an opportunity for a more enlightened participation. The opportunity to help others is seen as gift not to be taken lightly.

Be patient, and be curious about this new found clarity. Tolle spent a couple of years on a park bench getting through the transition. I experienced my own time of staring into space. I suspect it's that way with many. Realizing that the ego's world view is illusion is just the beginning. Again be patient. There's more to the nothingness than nothing. Look to the beauty in nature, and allow that recognition to be the ground of a new perspective on being in this world. Life is beautiful. Honest curiosity bears this out.

Another good old metaphor:
Before enlightenment - Chop wood and carry water.
After enlightenment - Chop wood and carry water.

Before, it was a labor of necessity.
After, it is a labor of love.

WW

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Re: losing interest/having no personality

Post by karmarider » Sat Jun 20, 2009 6:29 pm

It seems to be part of the process to isolate oneself, detach, be apathetic...possibly the old drivers are falling away...it passes.

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Re: losing interest/having no personality

Post by steph H » Sun Jun 21, 2009 4:15 pm

Hi lord12 :D
I've been practicing the PON for quite some time. But I realize that I have lost my sense of humor. I've become indifferent and very quiet. My mind is absolutely blank sometimes. Is this bad?
I agree with WW and E-phant :D I love that metaphor, by the way, it makes complete sense!! (the before and after enlightenment thing)
Yeah, i think what you're currently experiencing is being in the state of the present--grand awareness/ Being. Yup. Perhaps it's a mix-up between indifference/apathy with being in the NOW and contentment? Like what others have said, the Being is your essence/Self. It is fully manifested when you're in the present--which is the only reality, thus, in a sense--a very general sense,bceause your Being is reality, YOU ARE EVERYTHING-- your Being at oneness with everything-- this is like enlightenment (being in the present with the mind being silent and at one with your surroundings/down to earth feeling) Eternal or long-term contentment of the Being. Not satisfaction (short-term, contentment of the mind) but contentment (contentment of the Being) which perhaps is what you're experiencing? haha. Hope so :D

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Re: losing interest/having no personality

Post by Wings » Sun Jun 21, 2009 6:03 pm

[quote]Yes turn on your mind to function in the physical world, don't let it carry you away though. Use it to PLAY with this world, PLAY with people. Since you know nothing real can be threatened, you can't take anything too seriously...life becomes a big game --free of worry and full of joy.[/quote]

Electrophant, the above rings well. Your tune resonates and kind-of gives a need to follow in kind. Thanks

Even the words to describe the drift, the seemingly fall from feeling care for something who’s currents previously swam in and about me, now just has a familiar presence but has lost the way it used to carry me. When I see things who’s heaviness moved me but now, just is, as it has always been without me reading more into what my mind can create, this may be difficult to say or comprehend but now in has more sort of a vanilla state, which becomes even more satisfying, easier and more pleasant in its acceptance. Rush, demanding needs, large appetites for a need for more to satisfy, kind of fades, but still lingers telling whatever urgency may have arisen or wants to arise, to cool it, it will change, in mood, consistency and necessity.

This continues, and somehow leads me into a kind of surrounding simplicity about myself, things about and around me and people as well. Seemingly, everything sort-of is anticipated and therefore a bit comical and yes, a sense of humor about it gives way to quicker smiles and a kind of awareness which getting caught in negative moments losses its attraction. Does it make sense when I say; resigning oneself to less in many ways is more – or something akin to this?

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Re: losing interest/having no personality

Post by Ethan+H » Wed Jun 24, 2009 1:42 am

Hello,

Your post touched me, because I believe I know what you mean in a sense, although there is a discrepancy between how others perceive me (or how I fear they perceive me--as apathetic and disinterested) in juxtaposition to my private experience of the world as alive at every moment when I can be present.

When my inner voice tells me I'm apathetic or bored, I'm sure it's ego trying to goad me into doing something that is not good for me. This is just me and doesn't apply to anyone else: I know it is most likely an excuse to draw me into some kind of activity that will have a more immediate gratification.

Good luck on your journey.

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Re: losing interest/having no personality

Post by OneLove » Fri Jul 03, 2009 7:25 am

I'd say this blankness and loss of personality is reality my friend. I've experienced this for a very long time. It's been about two years now and it doesn't seem to shake. I've been very present through it all and it just won't leave. I'm afraid this is what we bought amigo, there is no refund.

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Re: losing interest/having no personality

Post by Sighclone » Mon Jul 06, 2009 1:40 am

I've been practicing the PON for quite some time. But I realize that I have lost my sense of humor. I've become indifferent and very quiet. My mind is absolutely blank sometimes. Is this bad?
Bad? No. It just is true for you now. Adya talks at length in several satsangs, books and CDs about a period of disorientation. That happened to me, but there was no indifference and withdrawal, just a surprise and amazement at how different yet similar the world appeared. Over time, the newness of my perspective has faded (but the "newness" or "suchness" of now has not changed.) Acceptance is one of the three modalities of awakened action - the other two are Joy and Enthusiasm. Re-read the Power of Now on this...towards the end.

Unconditional love accompanies awakening, too. Although there really is no subject vs. object in unity consciousness, in maya, there are "other people." Go find one to help, or a group. Or animals, or trees...

Namaste, Andy
A person is not a thing or a process, but an opening through which the universe manifests. - Martin Heidegger
There is not past, no future; everything flows in an eternal present. - James Joyce

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Re: losing interest/having no personality

Post by D'ray » Tue Jul 07, 2009 12:12 pm

I haven't write here a long time and I feel your "problem".

This indifference has caused me some problems because I just don't care anymore about things that profit me in someway :D (Sounds bad)

Is this somekind of zombie second state I don't know. Maybe I shoul'd listen to ET but it feels useless. I know all the principles but I haven't felt any inner peace for a long time. Perhaps I'm drifting to wrong direction.
There's no "I" to become enlightened. The "I" can have spiritual experiences.

DON'T resist the RESISTANCE! The resistance is there. Walk into it. Feel it. Become one with it.

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