dont think enlightenment is for me

A place for anything that doesn't fit into the existing forums
Post Reply
monmonn
Posts: 49
Joined: Wed May 05, 2010 12:20 pm

dont think enlightenment is for me

Post by monmonn » Mon Oct 04, 2010 7:49 am

Well how to start, I got into this stuff because I use to suffer heaps in the past, even though i lived a pretty good lifestyle (good life style, had my ups and downs, lots of friendships, risk taking, alot of moments to remember). It cured the suffering but then it made matters worse, what started the suffering was the suppression of my desires. But in the process i was trying to get present i would always make an effort on it, and its done alot but then I didn't feel like myself anymore, i wouldn't pursue things that I love, my friendships didn't feel as important anymore, I never experienced aggression, I became more lazier because I didnt feel the urge to see friends much, became less of a risk taker because I believed I am happy myself. All these things were coming down in my life and slowly my self esteem was lowering and i also found myself making an identity of being an enlightened being.

Recently i read some books on self esteem and it talked about self esteem and one of the needs of getting self esteem is integrity, which is basically being honest with yourself and trusting yourself. When it comes to desires I succeeded a lot in the past and yyeh i also failed a couple of times but I always was able to get back onto my feet. When i started studying spirituality (And i will also mention the media) I found myself very tense and I was suppressing a lot of desires (I quit beer and other substances for 14 weeks!), this was the fact that I was always worried bout being in consciousness and being concerned whether i am present or not most of the time. I found myself being more alone and scared of things, I didn't make many new friends (i still had my close friends, maybe because i created that bond ages ago). But i started building up my integrity, owning my desires and working hard to achieve my goals, and the feeling you get when you completed something is what made me get happy again, and I think that's how boys become men according to fight club :P, achieving happiness is from pursuing any random desire we have.

So the old me is coming back but I am not going to not recommend this material, I still use it, to meditate and quieten the mind, to feel my body more, not to judge so much and also taught me to see the past as something you cant change and take responsibility for things. :)

Basically don't make ego-death a goal, pursue other things worthwhile in life. Like anyone in our generation should spend their lives trying to hit rock bottom just to lose their identity

hanss
Posts: 673
Joined: Fri Jul 30, 2010 4:14 pm
Location: Gothenburg - Sweden

Re: dont think enlightenment is for me

Post by hanss » Mon Oct 04, 2010 10:21 am

Yes, I see what you mean. And your way of living life is a good way imo. Just be careful with this statement and examine it closely. Is that really true? :
monmonn wrote:.. achieving happiness is from pursuing any random desire we have.
"In today's rush we all think too much, seek too much, want too much and forget about the joy of just Being."
(Eckhart Tolle)

User avatar
erict
Site-Admin
Site-Admin
Posts: 1812
Joined: Mon Nov 22, 2004 9:24 pm
Location: Israel
Contact:

Re: dont think enlightenment is for me

Post by erict » Mon Oct 04, 2010 2:59 pm

One of the things I remember from Jed McKenna, is that awakening only makes sense, if you feel like it is the only choice you have left. That the only thing worse than going through the process of awakening, is not doing it. Otherwise, enjoy your life.

Here's a nice excerpt I like, from Jed McKenna's Spiritual Warfare:
"If I talk about food poisoning or stomach flu, does everyone know
what I mean? From personal experience?"
This is met with a chorus of groans which I interpret as a yes.
"What?" I ask in mock dismay. "no one likes violent stomach flu?
Cramps, nausea. vomiting? No? Diarrhea. fever. chills? Nobody? Jeez,
tough crowd. Curled up on the bathroom floor all night? Your body
wracked and heaving? No one? Wait a second. I haven't told you the good
part. How about a violent stomach flu that lasts for a year and a half. maybe
two years? Any takers?"

Nope.

"Come on, seriously. what would it take?" I prod them. "What would
make two years of violent stomach flu worthwhile for you? What would
make that worth enduring? What would make you want it?" I pass my gaze
over the entire group. "A million bucks? An extra twenty years of life? The
return of a loved one who died?" They sit in motionless silence. "Or wait,
I've got it. How about nothing? Anyone? Two years of gut-wrenching
purging for absolutely nothing? The line forms to the left. Who's first?"

"Stay with me. please." I say. "This analogy is tight. Violent stomach
flu is very much the physical counterpart of the spiritual awakening
process
, and it's one of those great metaphors that just gets better the more
you play with it. I see how you re all looking at me.

They settle in to a more attentive mood.
"The main feature of both of these processes, spiritual awakening and
physical stomach flu, is the violent and indiscriminate evacuation of all
contents: physical in one case. mental and emotional in the other. By indiscriminate.
I mean no picking and choosing: if it can go, it does go.

Upheaval. downheaval. every-which-way-heaval. Emergency purge. Blow
all tanks."

I'm aware that this is all just talk to them. They haven't gone through
this process I'm describing and I doubt any of them will in this life, but
this is my last time addressing a group and it's a great analogy and I'm not
going to let it—sorry—go to waste.
"Be sincere; don't ask questions out of mere interest. Ask dangerous questions—the ones whose answers could change your life."

karmarider
Posts: 2141
Joined: Wed Mar 25, 2009 8:00 pm
Location: Florida
Contact:

Re: dont think enlightenment is for me

Post by karmarider » Mon Oct 04, 2010 6:49 pm

Take a break.

In my experienced, there really is no turning back once you've had the initial insight. Take a break and you will naturally come back to it.

Happygolucky
Posts: 6
Joined: Thu Sep 30, 2010 9:33 pm

Re: dont think enlightenment is for me

Post by Happygolucky » Mon Oct 04, 2010 7:50 pm

I know exacly what you mean, I also stopped beign as social and chasing after my desires and goals. The confusion for me came when I was playing a round of golf. When beign just "happy as I am" I lost all motivation for hitting a good shot or having a good round, knowing that even an amazing round would only cause fleeting happiness :/ The desire to play and play well has gone and with that realization :(

garuda
Posts: 367
Joined: Thu Jan 31, 2008 8:44 pm
Location: USA

Re: dont think enlightenment is for me

Post by garuda » Mon Oct 04, 2010 9:33 pm

monmonn wrote: Don't think enlightenment is for me.
Hello monmonn,
I jumped into the spiritual journey quite blindly, wanting refuge from the old patterns of fear, anxiety, confusion, etc. Like you, I thought the singular goal was to extinguish ego as quickly as possible. I grossly misunderstood the teachings in the beginning. From my experience, I learned that first we start with an unhealthy ego that brings us the myriad suffering and delusion. So we pursue a chosen therapy or path to transform the unhealthy ego into some semblance of a healthy ego. I believe we first need a healthy ego in order to even hope for any meaningful spiritual progress, regardless of the level of attainment we are shooting for. So ego is needed in various degrees to help you along the path you choose.

The healthier the ego becomes, the more we are able to apply techniques effectively to purify the deluded mind, establish a pattern of virtue to replace the old pattern of dysfunction, and eventually gain enough conscious mental clarity to really decide how far up the spiritual ladder we want to climb. Some people are total contented by achieving a healthy ego in combination with some degree of clarity of consciousness. And they function quite well and find much happiness and contentment in life without aspiring to the highest levels. You will likely have a much better feel for where you want to be spiritually after you have attained better clarity as time goes on. So please don’t be in a rush to determine your destiny right now. Put your toe in the water first. Don’t set your expectations too high at first. Then later you can start making waves when you’re more familiar with the journey and your spiritual proclivities. Eventually you will gain good judgment and insight into your ultimate goal as you reach each stage along the way.

This forum is here to help you with your spiritual journey and assist you in finding your way through the obstacles and any land mines along way as you pursue your choices in personal development. Just as it has helped me find my way. Your options are wide open; you can achieve anything with proper determination. Good luck!
Recognize present awareness......... rest in that awareness..........don’t become distracted.

monmonn
Posts: 49
Joined: Wed May 05, 2010 12:20 pm

Re: dont think enlightenment is for me

Post by monmonn » Tue Oct 05, 2010 11:53 am

Yeh thanks guys! I am not saying studying this stuff hasn't helped I just got too caught up in it when i got my 1st reliasation of presence. I live normally now and getting back to my old self but I also keep in touch with my inner body time to time and combine that with integrity you can appreciate yourself and other things while reaching your goals. I also wanted to add its fun putting tension between you and other people (What I use to do back in my 'trying to be enlightened' days is act nice to everyone and trying not to hurt them and not care at the same time :( ), this tension and then the release is what seems to bond people together.

@Handd, Not talking bout happiness in general but that feeling you get when you achieve something, thats something thats been missing in my life for a while

@Happygolucky I PLAY GOLF 2! i love it

PeterL
Posts: 6
Joined: Tue Sep 07, 2010 2:44 pm

Re: dont think enlightenment is for me

Post by PeterL » Thu Oct 07, 2010 9:38 am

Hi Eric,
erict wrote:One of the things I remember from Jed McKenna, is that awakening only makes sense, if you feel like it is the only choice you have left.(...)
Violent stomach
flu is very much the physical counterpart of the spiritual awakening
process
Great quote. But doesn't that contradict ET when he says that spiritual awakening used to be a long dark night of the soul, but it is now available to many more people and without having to go through an incredibly painful process first ?

If not, what does ET mean then ?


Peter.

User avatar
erict
Site-Admin
Site-Admin
Posts: 1812
Joined: Mon Nov 22, 2004 9:24 pm
Location: Israel
Contact:

Re: dont think enlightenment is for me

Post by erict » Fri Oct 08, 2010 1:47 am

PeterL wrote:Great quote. But doesn't that contradict ET when he says that spiritual awakening used to be a long dark night of the soul, but it is now available to many more people and without having to go through an incredibly painful process first ?
That's a good question. I feel like Jed in his books is trying to make the point that awakening isn't what most people think it is, and maybe he overly emphasizes the difficulty, pain and suffering involved in the process.
I guess, though, it doesn't really matter. All these books and teachings, I think it's important to remember, they are just pointers. There will always be contradictions (or at least appear to be, as long as we keep dealing with these issues on a conceptual level).
"Be sincere; don't ask questions out of mere interest. Ask dangerous questions—the ones whose answers could change your life."

User avatar
Natalie
Posts: 559
Joined: Sat May 08, 2010 9:44 am
Location: Florida, USA

Re: dont think enlightenment is for me

Post by Natalie » Fri Oct 08, 2010 2:21 am

erict wrote:
One of the things I remember from Jed McKenna, is that awakening only makes sense, if you feel like it is the only choice you have left. That the only thing worse than going through the process of awakening, is not doing it.
This is exactly how I feel!!!!!!!! So nice to read that it has been experienced by someone else before.

Natalie

Post Reply