Before this you said,You will find that the love you have for your daughter is something completely solid and exists prior to any thoughts, fears and attachments and will continue to exist after any kind of awakening.
I would not call the core fear of emotional pain an illusion. I would say it is precisely this fear which enables the stream of thinking to maintain the illusion that it is actually what you are. Granted, the image of separate self that the mind perpetuates can never be more than an image. Yet, the unawakened mind can go years if not lifetimes interpreting reality as if it actually is this image of self. As such, the ability for the mind to block out emotional hurt based on this false notion of being a certain person is something which can manifest here and now, particularly in love relationships.The only advice I can offer is to tell you that these fears are illusions.
If there is some repressed emotional glue underlying certain thought tendencies, then love can take us to it. The mind unconsciously projects its own pool of repressed emotions onto those that it loves, because on a subconscious level, it believes its going to lose love, that its going to feel pain, because the emotional body is yearning to feel emotions which have not been fully expressed. Denying the fear of emotional pain as belonging to the "person who doesn't exist in the first place", or calling it an illusion, allows the mind to bypass the emotional hurt that subconsciously it wants to feel. However, until the mind is taught to seek out the pain it wants to avoid, thinking grounded in fear and control will continue to manifest here and now in one form or another.