This is my last post on this forum

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Amorbis
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This is my last post on this forum

Post by Amorbis » Tue May 03, 2011 12:10 am

Seeing as nowhere else anyone is there a chance anyone will take me seriously.
Please, someone tell me there's a way to go back before the PON- I am tired of sleepwalking braindead without a sense of direction while everyone else around me has lifes, goals and are realizing their ambition. I am currently enrolled in the best university in Canada but as it stands right now, considering pursuing my studies in all seriousness is absoultely luedicrous as it stands right now. In fact< i sometimes feel pursueing degree in any way, shape or form seems ludicrous right now. I don't want to quit my studies but I can't get my mind to strive trapped in this state- it's almost impossible to do so. I'm not looking to complain or anything like that but my mind does not really want to do anything and i can't live this anymore. there's no sense of purpose in my existence as it is right now- i don't really obtain enjoyment from anything anymore- so many things i valued have lost meaning to me and i feel totally directionless and it makes me sick looking at everyone around me who are really doing something with their lives (have degrees, careers and everything) while as for me.. well.. THe SHIP HAS LANDED- let's just put it that way. I need a way out of this if there is one- if there isn't just someone please message and let me know and I guess i'll start searching for the next best thing to suicide.. but there HAS to be a way out of this HAS TO BE.. I can't have been totally changed just by a simple book that i've read.. RIGHT?

Amorbis
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Re: This is my last post on this forum

Post by Amorbis » Tue May 03, 2011 12:11 am

**Anyone who wishes to respond please send me a private message- I'M OUT

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Onceler
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Re: This is my last post on this forum

Post by Onceler » Tue May 03, 2011 2:58 am

Peace out, brother. I hope you find what your looking for....you may want to rule out depression or some other psych disorder.
Be present, be pleasant.

mikanike23
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Re: This is my last post on this forum

Post by mikanike23 » Thu May 05, 2011 10:12 am

afdssssssss
Last edited by mikanike23 on Sat Jul 16, 2011 10:42 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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HandfullaMinerals
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Re: This is my last post on this forum

Post by HandfullaMinerals » Thu May 05, 2011 11:55 am

One of the initial traps in the start of the awakening process is this sense of 'why even bother'.

I've been there, I have a vague idea of what you are going through. And idea yes, but I do not KNOW what you are going through. Never will, never have done, and I don't know what you are going through.

I have some idea of the machinery involved (your minds, which are as ET says - emotions and thoughts), so there lies your problem.

My mistake was this, I was aloof, like a ghost wandering about in once-familiar surroundings. Once-familir people, now resembling strangers that I despised.

You are merely jumping from one end of the scale to the other. And I know of that scale that operates in the mind. See it as a message with big flashing lights and sirens, trying to rob awareness of itself.

Jumping about on that scale is futile. Drop it every time it arises.
It is the ego which raises difficulties, creating obstacles and then suffers from the perplexity of apparent paradoxes. Find out who makes the enquiries and the Self will be found.

xkatex
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Re: This is my last post on this forum

Post by xkatex » Thu May 05, 2011 5:29 pm

am tired of sleepwalking braindead without a sense of direction while everyone else around me has lifes, goals and are realizing their ambition.
I think you're missing something here, or have fallen into a trap. If you feel your body and those feelings of fear, if you feel the radiant source of life within, it's not a braindead state with no sense of direction. It's peaceful and alive, and you will know what to do from there.

It was distressing to read your post, as I really want to help you, but I think you've got this idea of enlightenment in your mind as a dead or empty state, when it's only empty of self. It's full of life, and personally it helps me with my studies. Re-read the book, try the portals, please give it another chance.

Peace

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HandfullaMinerals
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Re: This is my last post on this forum

Post by HandfullaMinerals » Thu May 05, 2011 5:43 pm

xkatex wrote:
am tired of sleepwalking braindead without a sense of direction while everyone else around me has lifes, goals and are realizing their ambition.
I think you're missing something here, or have fallen into a trap. If you feel your body and those feelings of fear, if you feel the radiant source of life within, it's not a braindead state with no sense of direction. It's peaceful and alive, and you will know what to do from there.

It was distressing to read your post, as I really want to help you, but I think you've got this idea of enlightenment in your mind as a dead or empty state, when it's only empty of self. It's full of life, and personally it helps me with my studies. Re-read the book, try the portals, please give it another chance.

Peace
My lack of articulation during my student life was hampered by my technical ability in the subject (Computing), I think now I would probably murder a degree course with the quality of 'working mind' as opposed to 'thinking /worrying mind'. So I feel what you're saying
It is the ego which raises difficulties, creating obstacles and then suffers from the perplexity of apparent paradoxes. Find out who makes the enquiries and the Self will be found.

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Midnight
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Re: This is my last post on this forum

Post by Midnight » Thu May 05, 2011 6:07 pm

Having been through a dark period after awakening, I can sympathize to a certain degree. I had days where I physically couldn't pick up a pen because I was just totally blissed out. There was almost no thought. Somehow things leveled off and now I can get things done, I feel perfectly content despite whatever comes to me. There have been some physical side effects and some changes in behavior

However, I don't think I've seen you post about your experience. I find it very hard to take you seriously when you post like this. Your still mind-identified, otherwise you wouldn't have such a strong belief in what it's telling you.

What was your experience man? Your saying you read TPON and that was it? Suddenly your brain just fried? It doesn't add up.

IF (and that's a big IF) you've had some kind of awakening, you have to let it pass and not freak out. You need to shut up and let mind do it's thing, but stay firmly rooted in the self, the witness, what you are. Abide in that, don't allow the mind to wander, bring it back in to the source and rest there.

You may have depression, but I'm really no expert. As Enigma pointed out to you previously, your playing a mind-game with yourself which your not even conscious of yet otherwise you wouldn't still be posting the same stuff.

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Webwanderer
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Re: This is my last post on this forum

Post by Webwanderer » Thu May 05, 2011 7:18 pm

This is what can happen when you buy into half-truths. The new mind-set becomes a delusion of nothingness. It's just another mind-set or concept reality. There is a greater reality.

WW

Beliving
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Re: This is my last post on this forum

Post by Beliving » Fri May 06, 2011 6:45 pm

Amorbis wrote:Seeing as nowhere else anyone is there a chance anyone will take me seriously.
Please, someone tell me there's a way to go back before the PON- I am tired of sleepwalking braindead without a sense of direction while everyone else around me has lifes, goals and are realizing their ambition. I am currently enrolled in the best university in Canada but as it stands right now, considering pursuing my studies in all seriousness is absoultely luedicrous as it stands right now. In fact< i sometimes feel pursueing degree in any way, shape or form seems ludicrous right now. I don't want to quit my studies but I can't get my mind to strive trapped in this state- it's almost impossible to do so. I'm not looking to complain or anything like that but my mind does not really want to do anything and i can't live this anymore. there's no sense of purpose in my existence as it is right now- i don't really obtain enjoyment from anything anymore- so many things i valued have lost meaning to me and i feel totally directionless and it makes me sick looking at everyone around me who are really doing something with their lives (have degrees, careers and everything) while as for me.. well.. THe SHIP HAS LANDED- let's just put it that way. I need a way out of this if there is one- if there isn't just someone please message and let me know and I guess i'll start searching for the next best thing to suicide.. but there HAS to be a way out of this HAS TO BE.. I can't have been totally changed just by a simple book that i've read.. RIGHT?
Instead of denying the self, attempting to deny the SELF can only lead to further suffering. It's not the "simple book" but the truth it points to that has been revealed. The mind is trying to tell that "you" want to be out of this while the heart is telling you otherwise. Maybe listen to the heart and find out what you really love to do. The mind may then follow, including what to study...

Wish you well!

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