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children

Posted: Mon May 23, 2011 4:20 pm
by xxx
I wanted to share the innate enlightenment in our children.
My 3-year-old daughter:

"Stop being busy, Mama."

Re: children

Posted: Tue May 24, 2011 12:25 am
by snowheight
"out of the mouths of babes", just perfect!

Re: children

Posted: Tue May 24, 2011 5:53 pm
by WhatisMu
xxx wrote:I wanted to share the innate enlightenment in our children.
My 3-year-old daughter:

"Stop being busy, Mama."
Fantastic. Love this!

Re: children

Posted: Tue May 24, 2011 7:02 pm
by Sighclone
How wonderful!

Andy

Re: children

Posted: Thu May 26, 2011 6:14 am
by AaronJ
MY 5 year old came to me at my computer while i was studying for an exam. She said, "Daddy, what are you doing?". "I am doing my homework for school," i said. "Why are you doing that?" she asks. I say that it is so i can get a good job and make more money. "Why do you want more money?" she asks. At this point i was starting question my own motives as well. "Well, sweety, because we dont have enough of it." "What do we need more of?" she asks. She returns with some change she found on the ground and hid somewhere and says "Here you go daddy, here is some more money, now come and play with me."

I of course did go and play with her at that moment, but she had me stuck between two worlds, her world of love and the greater world of 'reality'. I feel this often throughout the day, this interplay between two worlds, and feel strongly that Tolle's and others word about connecting external action with internal purpose is essential.

That exchange with my daughter made me realize that my time with her and our play together was a priority for me but that i had been putting my schoolwork first. However, i only had been putting my schoolwork in that time slot because i was sleeping more than i really needed to and those hours of sleep eventually were replaced with studying such that my time with my daughter was lengthened. I did however keep some study time in that evening time slot but it now served an actual purpose, that of introducing and modeling an important aspect of living in this world, rather than just being a byproduct of me sleeping in.

Thanks for reading. Children and there why questions are fantastic.

Re: children

Posted: Thu May 26, 2011 2:54 pm
by runstrails
Great insight, Aaron!
Hanging out with my young daughter always has a similar effect on me too. BTW, Welcome to the forum!

Re: children

Posted: Thu May 26, 2011 4:42 pm
by arel
I think you are a good dad AaronJ. Pure attention is the most precious gift you can give to someone, and it seems to be most important to children. Love is there.

Re: children

Posted: Thu May 26, 2011 5:13 pm
by snowheight
AaronJ wrote: I of course did go and play with her at that moment, but she had me stuck between two worlds, her world of love and the greater world of 'reality'. I feel this often throughout the day, this interplay between two worlds, and feel strongly that Tolle's and others word about connecting external action with internal purpose is essential.
Amazing story Aaron. Perhaps maintaining an attitude of gratitude for what is a very demanding life situation will result in a higher probability of remaining present.

I'm sure everyone here would be very interested to know more about what brought you to this forum.

ps: Don't underestimate the value of being well-rested, and while your daughter might not understand why you are studying to improve the life situation of your family the group of apparent individuals that manifests as the financial department of her future university will.

Re: children

Posted: Thu May 26, 2011 6:31 pm
by Sighclone
Welcome Aaron -- wonderful reminder.

Here is another side (which you also allude to):

"Dear loving daughter, thanks for the extra money. Let's go play!....(later)...Did you like your breakfast? Do you like to be inside when it rains? Do you like television? Would you like to go to [wherever]? Do you want to go to the doctor if you are sick? Do you like to choose your clothes? Of course you do, and I want you to have that freedom, that flexibility. In the world of today we have to work to have these things, and while the coins you brought to me are wonderful, I do not help you have the best future possible if I do not consider my career, and that means some studying now. You are sweet and dear and a great reminder of priorities we all have. But if I play with you every time you ask, we both will suffer later because then, we will not have a place to live...so sometimes, dear girl, I will have to say 'no'."

Andy

Re: children

Posted: Thu May 26, 2011 7:24 pm
by Natalie
snowheight wrote: "ps: Don't underestimate the value of being well-rested, and while your daughter might not understand why you are studying to improve the life situation of your family the group of apparent individuals that manifests as the financial department of her future university will."

Oh that's too funny.

Andy, I loved the tenderness in your answer.

Re: children

Posted: Thu May 26, 2011 10:58 pm
by xxx
Money and Success are of no value. Relationships with those around, especially children, are of great value. You can go to school later, you can only spend this moment with her this moment.

However, if you enjoy school, it is of significant value too. If you instead value the possibilities more education present, then your daughter sees it more clearly.

That is: Why do you need more money?

We went with less stuff, instead of more $$. I think this can work for others. Ambition is a trait highly valued in our culture, but I think it is very very misleading.

Re: children

Posted: Thu May 26, 2011 11:00 pm
by xxx
Or, as my daughter would say

"Stop being busy Aaron"

Re: children

Posted: Thu May 26, 2011 11:22 pm
by walken
xxx wrote:I think this can work for others. Ambition is a trait highly valued in our culture, but I think it is very very misleading.
It is. People think if they work really hard that their achievement will result in lasting happiness. Unfortunately, it doesn't work that way. The pendulum always swings and that's what keeps people dissatisfied, searching for something permanent.

Re: children

Posted: Fri May 27, 2011 1:57 am
by AaronJ
Thank you for your comments and insights here, and for the warm welcome. Yes, many of the things that were said are what i was contemplating, and i love how considering each aspect of my commitment to this life brings about a richer experience, and one that leads to a more active participation and interface with the forms that abound. The comment that listed the many reasons for being engaged in school and the pursuit of some security through clothing, food, shelter and such was insightful into how connected our actions at any moment are with the lives of those around us and our collective future. Much as Tolle emphasizes that planning for the future is quite neccessary but be careful that such planning is not instead an anxiety or fear propelled thought, or however he words that concept. Taking the time in that situation to aknowledge my daughter, and the priority of being present, in the end did not mean that i changed my actions all that much, but i am now realizing that just understanding there link, the internal and the external, allowed me to experience those moments with a more rich sensation, or whatever you call it when the moment seems to be alive of its own, not just a passing obstacle or step towards the next.

I am glad to be apart of this community and look forward to reading stories as well as posting those i come to contact, Peace to all, and a goodnight to some!

Re: children

Posted: Fri May 27, 2011 4:46 am
by snowheight
walken wrote:
xxx wrote:I think this can work for others. Ambition is a trait highly valued in our culture, but I think it is very very misleading.
It is. People think if they work really hard that their achievement will result in lasting happiness. Unfortunately, it doesn't work that way. The pendulum always swings and that's what keeps people dissatisfied, searching for something permanent.
The "one-thing-after-another" syndrome described by Tolle revolves, for many if not most, around material ambition. I know that it did for me.

I'm going to hazard a guess that It is the endless quest for more money that most people pop their heads up from when one of these messages resonates, and, for me at least, it was even more powerful than the wealth vortex when I realized that I didn't have to wait until I was rich before I could find inner peace. Maybe most people just don't think about this ... it can be viewed as a question of values ... is it that most people seem to not know what they are missing?