Spirituality Jokes

A place for anything that doesn't fit into the existing forums
Enlightened2B
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Re: Spirituality Jokes

Post by Enlightened2B » Sat Jun 20, 2015 5:12 am

DavidB wrote:E2B, that guy is bloody hilarious, he managed to highlight most of what I thought about the new age spiritualist and did it in a way that was very funny.

You know, it's probably been already said, and not exactly a revelation, but not taking yourself seriously, is really important. :wink:
Yeah, I found the video really funny. My favorite part is where he's doing yoga and he says "Yeah, I really feel this one in my spirit" :lol: So ridiculous.

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anewmirth
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Re: Spirituality Jokes

Post by anewmirth » Thu Dec 31, 2015 12:39 pm

Image

painBody
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Re: Spirituality Jokes

Post by painBody » Wed Jan 04, 2017 9:52 am

ET mentioned this one.

Some Christians have bumper stickers that say "Born again".

What does the bumper sticker of a Buddhist monk say ?

"Born again, ... and again, ... and again"

Ntwarr76
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Re: Spirituality Jokes

Post by Ntwarr76 » Sat Jan 14, 2017 1:37 am

I have no jokes but I like messing with people. Compared to me everyone at work are spiritual cavemen so they have no clue what I'm talking about.

I'll just say random things like "what if I dreamt that I was a butterfly but it was the butterfly dreaming it was me". I'm still waiting to use "I am awareness disguised as a person" when ask who I am. Or what time is it? "Now" or where are we? "Here"

borris83
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Re: Spirituality Jokes

Post by borris83 » Fri Feb 10, 2017 2:24 am

A Zen student asked his master, "Is it OK to use email?"
"Yes," replied the master, "But no attachments."

....................

A woman get cheated by her husband.
Devastated, she doesn't know how to continue to live her life. She heard that there's a very wise monk who lives up in a mountain, and decide to go there to consult him. After few days of traveling, walking, climbing, she reach the top and meet the wise monk. "I have spent my whole life with him, my youth was dedicated to support him, take care of him. And now he left me with a young women. My life is stolen, and I'm left with nothing. I don't know what to do". The monk gives her a cookie and asks her to eat it. After she finishes eating, he ask: "Is the cookie delicious?" "Yes"- she answer. "Do you want another one?" "Sure, please". The monk look her in the eyes and said "Do you see the problem now?" The woman thinks for a while, and then slowly speak. "I guess human nature is greedy. You got one, then you want more, maybe a new one, bigger one. It's never enough. And nothing lasts forever, anything is impermanence. We should be aware and not disappointed for that". The monk shake his head "No, I mean you are too fat, you should eat less."

.................................
Four monks were meditating in a monastery when, all of a sudden, the prayer flag on the roof started flapping.
The youngest monk came out of his meditation and said, "Flag is flapping."
The second, more experienced monk said, "Wind is flapping."
The third monk, who had been there for more than twenty years, said, "Mind is flapping."
The fourth monk, who was the eldest, said, "Mouths are flapping!"
.........................

So the next day the Buddhist phones again, “Can you please come to my house for a blessing?”
“Sorry,” said the monk, “I’m busy.”
“What are you doing?”
“I’m doing nothing,” replied the monk.
“But that was what you were doing yesterday!” said the Buddhist.
“Correct”, replied the monk, “I’m not finished yet!
................................

There are three monks, who had been sitting in deep meditation for many years amidst the Himalayan snow peaks, never speaking a word, in utter silence. One morning, one of the three suddenly speaks up and says, ‘What a lovely morning this is.’ And he falls silent again. Five years of silence pass, when all at once the second monk speaks up and says, ‘But we could do with some rain.’ There is silence among them for another five years, when suddenly the third monk says, ‘Why can’t you two stop chattering?
..........

painBody
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Re: Spirituality Jokes

Post by painBody » Fri Feb 10, 2017 5:41 am

^ borris83, I like the first two :lol:

borris83
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Re: Spirituality Jokes

Post by borris83 » Thu Feb 16, 2017 10:23 pm

Thanks Painbody,

Here is another one:

It happened once that Mulla Nasruddin owned a hotel. Then he was arrested and brought to the
court of the town, because he was caught mixing horse meat in chicken cutlets. But he confessed
and he said, ”I have been committing this crime,” and he pleaded guilty.

The magistrate asked, ”Nasruddin, will you tell me what the proportion was? How much horse meat
were you mixing into how many chicken cutlets?”

Nasruddin said, very truthfully, ”Fifty-fifty.”

But the magistrate was not convinced so he asked, ”What do you mean by fifty-fifty, Nasruddin?”

Nasruddin said, ”It is so obvious. Fifty-fifty means fifty-fifty – one horse to one chicken.”

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anonymousUser
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Re: Spirituality Jokes

Post by anonymousUser » Thu Jun 15, 2017 10:50 pm

Neo-advaita:

Image

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turiya
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Re: Spirituality Jokes

Post by turiya » Mon Jul 17, 2017 5:18 am

This isn't a joke, but it's pretty funny (to me, anyway):

https://youtu.be/9EilqfAIudI

:D
“We ourselves are not an illusory part of Reality; rather are we Reality itself illusorily conceived.” - Wei Wu Wei

NuanceOfSuchness
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Re: Spirituality Jokes

Post by NuanceOfSuchness » Sat Jan 20, 2018 12:28 am

I have no claim on this: :D

There are three monks, who had been sitting in deep meditation for many years amidst the Himalayan snow peaks, never speaking a word, in utter silence. One morning, one of the three suddenly speaks up and says, ‘What a lovely morning this is.’ And he falls silent again. Five years of silence pass, when all at once the second monk speaks up and says, ‘But we could do with some rain.’ There is silence among them for another five years, when suddenly the third monk says, ‘Why can’t you two stop chattering?

NuanceOfSuchness
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Re: Spirituality Jokes

Post by NuanceOfSuchness » Sat Jan 20, 2018 12:32 am

Ntwarr76 wrote:I have no jokes but I like messing with people. Compared to me everyone at work are spiritual cavemen so they have no clue what I'm talking about.

I'll just say random things like "what if I dreamt that I was a butterfly but it was the butterfly dreaming it was me". I'm still waiting to use "I am awareness disguised as a person" when ask who I am. Or what time is it? "Now" or where are we? "Here"
Magic! :D Not literally magic but a wonderful play with words. :wink:

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turiya
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Re: Spirituality Jokes

Post by turiya » Sat Jan 20, 2018 7:00 am

“We ourselves are not an illusory part of Reality; rather are we Reality itself illusorily conceived.” - Wei Wu Wei

NuanceOfSuchness
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Re: Spirituality Jokes

Post by NuanceOfSuchness » Mon Jan 22, 2018 11:08 am

Finally! Figured that one out. Phew! :D :D :D

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jukai
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Re: Spirituality Jokes

Post by jukai » Wed Feb 21, 2018 7:49 am

Picture an emergency scenario wherein a commercial passenger airplane with hundreds of passengers on board needs to make an emergency landing, with Eckhart flying the plane and making radio communications to the ATC:

Eckhart: "Mayday, mayday, mayday. Need to make an emergency landing at Boston airport. Will need full emergency services upon arrival to treat injured passengers."

ATC: "Roger. Confirm souls on board."

Eckhart: "One"

har89
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Re: Spirituality Jokes

Post by har89 » Tue Aug 28, 2018 2:36 pm

One Buddhist monk leaned over to another and quietly asked, “Are you not thinking what I’m not thinking?”

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