Spirituality Jokes

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Re: Spirituality Jokes

Postby ashley72 » Sat Jul 16, 2011 12:58 pm

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Re: Spirituality Jokes

Postby ashley72 » Sat Jul 16, 2011 1:15 pm

Father Murphy, Reverend Philpot and Rabbi Nussbaum are playing cards together and gambling in the back room of the pub. All of a sudden a policeman comes in and they are arrested.

In court the magistrate asks Father Murphy, "You are accused of gambling. What do you have to say?"
The old priest looks up to heaven, winks and prays silently, "Oh, God! Just one little white lie! I'll never do it again. Okay?"

He then announces to the magistrate, "Not guilty."
"Okay," says the magistrate, "you can go. And what about you, Reverend? What do you have to say?"

The clergyman looks piously to heaven and then bows his head in prayer, "Oh, God! Just one little white lie! I will never do it again," and then says out loud, "Not guilty."

"Very well," says the magistrate, "you can go. Rabbi Nussbaum is next. You are accused of gambling," says the magistrate. "What do you have to say?"

"Gambling?" asks the rabbi. "With whom?"
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Re: Spirituality Jokes

Postby ashley72 » Sat Jul 16, 2011 1:16 pm

Swami Bharti Barfi, one of Shree Rajneesh's Indian disciples, is sitting on an Air India plane with the Shankaracharya of Puri and some of his aides. They are cruising at thirty-five thousand feet over the Indian sub-continent, when the shankaracharya suddenly feels very generous.

"If I throw this hundred-rupee note out the window," he says, "I will make one harijan very happy."
One of his aides adds, "But if you throw out two fifty-rupee notes, you will make two people happy."

And the other aide says, "Well, why not throw out one hundred one-rupee notes, and make one hundred people happy?"

At this point Swami Bharti Barfi stands up and says, "Why don't you make nine hundred million people happy and throw yourself out the window?"
 
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Re: Spirituality Jokes

Postby ashley72 » Sat Jul 16, 2011 1:22 pm

Late one afternoon at the Pearly Gates of Heaven, Saint Peter is inspecting twenty married women who have just arrived for judgment.

"Now, girls," says Saint Peter. "If any of you was ever unfaithful to your husband on earth, please take one step forward! And remember, no lying, and no cheating! I have ways of checking up on you!"

Immediately, nineteen of the wives move forward, but one woman remains standing alone. Saint Peter nods quietly to himself and walks over to the telephone. He dials up Hell.
"Hello! Satan!" exclaims Saint Peter. "I am sending down twenty unfaithful wives to you -- but be careful. One of them is completely deaf!"
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Re: Spirituality Jokes

Postby anewmirth » Sat Jul 16, 2011 10:18 pm

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Re: Spirituality Jokes

Postby anewmirth » Sun Jul 17, 2011 12:44 pm

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Re: Spirituality Jokes

Postby anewmirth » Sun Jul 17, 2011 10:09 pm

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Re: Spirituality Jokes

Postby anewmirth » Mon Jul 18, 2011 11:09 am

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Re: Spirituality Jokes

Postby anewmirth » Mon Jul 18, 2011 10:11 pm

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Re: Spirituality Jokes

Postby runstrails » Mon Jul 18, 2011 10:35 pm

ooh! I love the owl pic and the quote. Thanks!
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Re: Spirituality Jokes

Postby anewmirth » Tue Jul 19, 2011 11:08 am

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Welcome runstrails!
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Re: Spirituality Jokes

Postby anewmirth » Tue Jul 19, 2011 10:19 pm

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Re: Spirituality Jokes

Postby anewmirth » Wed Jul 20, 2011 12:36 pm

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Re: Spirituality Jokes

Postby anewmirth » Wed Jul 20, 2011 10:39 pm

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Re: Spirituality Jokes

Postby anewmirth » Thu Jul 21, 2011 1:30 pm

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