What can I do for my girlfriend?

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Learner
Posts: 117
Joined: Thu Jun 25, 2009 9:13 pm

What can I do for my girlfriend?

Post by Learner » Wed Sep 07, 2011 4:04 pm

My girlfriend went on this big rant today about how self conscious and insecure she is about her boobs. It's really weird too because she has DDs and they look awesome... But she said she was teased about them back in elementary school because they were so big... But she's 24 now and I find her being so concerned about her boobs and what everyone thinks of them to be EXTREMELY unattractive. For example, she won't even wear a tank top without wearing a vest or sweater or something over it even in 80-90 degree weather. I understand that she has her insecurities but I find this to be pretty ridiculous and unattractive. I talked to her about it today and she said she just doesn't like when guys stare at her boobs and make comments. I feel like she's too concerned about what others think and say, especially for a 24 year old! The other thing too is that having big boobs is considered an ATTRACTIVE and GOOD feature... There are a lot of girls who are insecure about having small breasts but she has great ones but she's still insecure. It just sucks because she won't wear a lot of stylish things or even as I said simply tank tops which look GREAT on her because of this. Or, she will wear them and she'll be all paranoid the whole time until she puts a sweatshirt on or something.

What's a good approach to this? I've tried plenty of reassurance and compliments over the past 2 years but that doesn't help apparently.

soren008
Posts: 95
Joined: Tue Jan 05, 2010 10:06 pm

Re: What can I do for my girlfriend?

Post by soren008 » Wed Sep 07, 2011 5:44 pm

You have a problem with the way she is, just accept, she is self-conscious about her big breasts, that's how she is for now, work on accepting that behaviour in her
Because this is your problem

As for her well I don't think there is anything you can do, you don't seem to be very accepting at all, so she has a problem and you have a problem with her problem

You have a problem with the way she is, it's you where the problem lies, not her

If you accept her self-consciousness fully, without imposing (internally or verbally) your own resistance to the way she behaves, then maybe it will cease

Maybe by being around a presence so deeply rooted in acceptance of what is, she'll forget her form altogether

-I'm interested in what others will write on this

soren008
Posts: 95
Joined: Tue Jan 05, 2010 10:06 pm

Re: What can I do for my girlfriend?

Post by soren008 » Wed Sep 07, 2011 6:01 pm

in a shorter -

What can I do for my girlfriend?

Accept her.
Last edited by soren008 on Wed Sep 07, 2011 6:02 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Rick
Posts: 485
Joined: Sat Apr 09, 2011 7:30 pm

Re: What can I do for my girlfriend?

Post by Rick » Wed Sep 07, 2011 6:02 pm

I sense you are annoyed with her attitude about her breasts. Some girls love the attention big breasts bring while others loath it. To some having men look at them lustfully is thrilling...to others it is degrading...and to others it doesn't move them either way, it all depends upon prior conditioning and experience. In any case I would look at your own attitudes towards her breasts. Are her breasts the reason you were attracted to her? Are they a trophy for you? Do you need her to show them off? Are you upset with her because you want others to be envious of the good catch you got? What are your attitudes here? This is really where you need to look. If you loved her your concern would be for her pain. She is hurting inside and yet your concern is about your comfort level and how you think she should behave. As for her, right now I would leave her alone about it and accept that she is uncomfortable with her breasts for the unwanted attention they bring her. She may need to work this out but she needs to work this out in her own way and in her own time. Love is patient and kind about these things. It accepts and never pressures others to be what they are not. When you are certain that you are OK, truly OK with her as she is, then you may be ready to help her learn to remain unaffected by others. But now, how can you teach her to be unaffected by others attitudes/behavior when you yourself are affected by her attitude/behavior? On the other hand, if you need to have a girlfriend proudly displaying big boobs out in public for whatever reason perhaps you need a different girlfriend.
Daily life IS spiritual exercise.

soren008
Posts: 95
Joined: Tue Jan 05, 2010 10:06 pm

Re: What can I do for my girlfriend?

Post by soren008 » Wed Sep 07, 2011 6:06 pm

Rick wrote:But now, how can you teach her to be unaffected by others attitudes/behavior when you yourself are affected by her attitude/behavior?
Lol
Yeah
I never thought of his own processes about the breasts as well, that's good Rick

unbornawakened
Posts: 338
Joined: Mon Mar 16, 2009 5:09 am

Re: What can I do for my girlfriend?

Post by unbornawakened » Wed Sep 07, 2011 10:55 pm

Not everyone likes 'big boobs', some like them small and firm, perhaps that is one reason. Another is that having big boobs becomes a liability once you start hitting old age ... they become ugly flabby pendants that hang down to your waist - but don't tell her that.

What you should remind her of is that many people are indifferent to such physical characteristics in selecting a friend, mate, companion. And if someone likes or dislikes her because of her boobs, then he is probably not worth attracting.
Learner wrote:The other thing too is that having big boobs is considered an ATTRACTIVE and GOOD feature... There are a lot of girls who are insecure about having small breasts but she has great ones but she's still insecure. What's a good approach to this? I've tried plenty of reassurance and compliments over the past 2 years but that doesn't help apparently.

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