Enlightened2B wrote: First of all, I've never had an OBE. I said I've experienced the very early stages of them, meaning the pre-cursors to them in the vibrational stage.
This is the depth of experience, where we can work to cleanse the mind. As long as we can see the arising and passing(impermanent nature) of the experience then this is good enough. What one practices to activate this can depend on ones individuality and past conditioning, but it is not necessary to gain deeper experience than this to begin. This activation will shake up the past traumas, and we are to work with whatever presents itself. A deep misery may come to the surface and this is what we need to work with, generally deep miseries come to the surface and we must muddle our way through them. At any time a deeper subtler experience may present itself, and then this is what we work with. In your case its likely these anxieties will manifest and you will experience much tension in the chest and stomach, the practice is to simply observe these tensions(sensations) and see that they are in a continuous state of change, you will also observe mind while experiencing this, is mind balanced, or is mind full of aversion, when balanced what is the experience like, when full of aversion how do these thoughts affect this flow of energy. This is where wisdom is developed.
On one retreat, I began to really miss my kids, I began to become anxious, and this let to darker thoughts, I began imagining people locked in solitary confinement, never seeing their kids again, as I was working in isolation I had no stimulus to distract the mind, for six days I sat with these terrible thoughts, I had slipped into a very dark place, my chest was aching it felt like there was boulder in there, my meditation sittings were full of pain and discomfort. Finally on the sixth day, I simply started to look at the anxious sensation instead of trying to push it away. I began to realise that on its own it was not really that bad, it was like a strong hunger pang, little by little I came out of this fear and probed deeper and deeper into the body, my thoughts of fear and anxiety were replaced with those of curiosity and excitement, then this tension began to break apart and this very fast vibration was experienced. I realized this is excitement, my mind was full of craving for this excitement, sitting with this for some time, my mind calmed and the flow of energy became softer, and subtler energies became apparent in different parts of the body. Now this is not the out of body experience, but in this retreat I worked not only through the aversion but also the craving. As soon as the energy flow regained stability I sat with this for some time and then another trauma came to the surface, and initially I pushed it away craving for the calmness to come back, and it strengthened, until I began to look at it, and then I worked with this, in similar fashion to the other trauma. Some traumas are very deep, and I've noticed sitting long retreats, that sometimes something I was working on in a past retreat resurfaces on the next one and I carry on looking at this, it seems like, my practice on retreats is working with one trauma(storm) after another. Nothing spectacular just trauma after trauma as they naturally come to the surface.
For the first two year of my practice, I brought up so much stuff that I was working as intensely at home as on retreat, I thought I was going to get divorced I was so miserable at times, I was continually aware of tension within the body, not much of a break from this.
I returned for another retreat, and I'm telling you fire and brimstone came to the surface, I sat with what felt like acid pumping through my veins, for whatever reason this extreme pain propelled me into a very deep concentrated state, I think it was that when I was not concentrated the meditation sittings were absolutely unbearable, nothing but gross pain burning and misery, when I concentrated and really looked within, there was the subtle flow of vibration underneath the burning heaviness, I bounced back and forth for many days experiencing moments of subtleness and greater moments of this burning pain, then the body began to open up, like the hard crust broke apart and out poured the lava, this hurt like hell but finally the lava was moving instead of just sitting in there, little by little it cooled and by the end of the retreat I felt fantastic, I mean fantastic, I had never felt this light before it was as though a huge weight was removed.
I left the retreat and was in the bus station, I'm telling the truth here, I could look at every individuals facial expression, and I knew exactly what they were thinking, a homeless man came into my view and I could tell he was sad and lonely, I was so unbelievable happy that he just kept coming towards me, and he just started to pour out all his problems to me, and we just talked like to human beings it was beautiful, it was as if this joy just kept running out of me and anyone I came into contact with became happy.
When I got home my kids just attacked me daddy, daddy, daddy, they were clawing at me, we were hugging and kissing, it was great, then all of a sudden this feeling of incredible darkness came over me, this really thick heavy darkness, it was coming like a wave, and I knew there was no stopping it. I asked my wife to be excused to go lie down. It was as if death was approaching and like an animal who senses death approaching, it finds a quiet place to lie down, this is what I felt and instinctively I went to lie down in privacy, there was no fight in me, no resistance to this, just total surrender.
Before my head hit the pillow, I was in the body of an older man, he lived in a dusty ashram type setting, he was walking about interacting with people. Now this experience was just like any experience in my day to day life the only difference is that I was this other person, I(my identity) was in this other being. The difference was in the purity of mind, none of my normal sarcastic impure thoughts were there, whomever this person came in contact with he saw a his children there was nothing but thoughts of love and kindness, and everyone loved this person.
Suddenly, I became aware that the people in this ashram were beginning to panic, and as I turned around I saw a band of men with swords killing the residents, still no thoughts of hatred or fear arose in the mind, just a calmness, then I spoke, Oh my this is not good, then a feeling of crushing weight became apparent, but like when you are at the dentist and they freeze your mouth, no pain, just thuds and plunges, and extreme pressure. All the subtle sensations flowing through the body began to fizzle out, I knew I was going to die, A womans voice, an angelic voice, said "you will be missed so much, I love you" and this seemed to further calm the mind, the subtle sensations remaining grew even finer until they were gone.
Instantly, mind expanded, it had been released from body, there was no sense of self, this is difficult to express in words, there was none of the 5 senses active, no pain no sensation whatsoever, just mind expanding out infinitely, and in an instant, this was not a long experience, it was instantaneous, the link from body was severed and mind was free to expand freely into space.
Then it was as if mind approached a what I would describe as a black hole, mind was drawn to this point of nothingness, again no feeling perhaps merely perceiving this occurring, mind then proceeded into this point of nothing and then ......
Can't describe the next part other than no perception mere conscious awareness, no self whatsoever not a trace. This experience had no concept of time associated with it but when I woke up back in this familiar body, 45 minutes had passed.
I cannot explain it but this experience has brought an incredible amount of insight, I have no real questions anymore, just understanding, and a huge boulder of heavy self has been eliminated, I still have plenty of stuff coming up but the real heavy burning stuff has not ever returned, and I simply do not generate thoughts of ill will as I use to be capable of.
It is like being reborn, I still look the same but the identity has changed, the old me has literally died. This conscious awareness is always, Its beyond subtle, unknowable to the self, but I can simply be this awareness observing past traumas arising and passing.
Enlightened2B wrote: it doesn't sound like you really have an understanding of what out of body exploration actually is.
This was one experience there have been others, but this was definately the deepest. But I don't crave for this to happen again or try to induce these experiences, I simply work through whatever trauma presents itself as best I can from moment to moment. If a being desires to make contact, I do my best to observe this entity in a calm balanced fashion. Little by little the universe is unfolding, I have no doubts that this is the path to purification.
Enlightened2B wrote: You seem to claim to know so much about out of body exploration, past lives, and the fractal nature of reality
Not really, I just know how to work through these traumas.