new Person here

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new Person here

Postby Kelly Lee » Thu Dec 22, 2011 4:37 am

Hiya :D I see you all aren't big newbie greeters.Thats okey I'm kind of used to lurking around on my own anyway. I'm just getting tired of it all. But hey maybe I can learn to use my profound loneliness. Its teaching me already.
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Re: new Person here

Postby Webwanderer » Thu Dec 22, 2011 7:18 am

Hi Kelly. Glad you found us.

Why do you think you feel so lonely?

WW
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Re: new Person here

Postby kiki » Thu Dec 22, 2011 4:06 pm

Welcome to the board, Kelly Lee. What has profound loneliness taught you?
"Miss Kelly, perhaps you'd like this flower. I seem to have misplaced my buttonhole ... Miss Kelly, you know, when you wear my flower you make it look beautiful." Elwood P. Dowd
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Re: new Person here

Postby Kelly Lee » Fri Dec 23, 2011 3:43 am

Thanks for the welcome. I'm enjoying the site. I'm working on "be here now". I feel lonely bec I am alone. I am 53 single and never been married. Have no children. All these "I"'s I need to cut some of them out.

But this condition, I find myself in for no better term but the state of "profound loneliness". It has led me here. Right hmmm? It has forced me to search for some answers as to why I find it so hard to let things go that are way in the past and still messin with my head. Thats not right, but somehow over time I have let myself become enslaved by this past. Angry,hurt,sad, frustrated. tired of people and there BS. All these things I feel are the result of dredging crap from the past up and having those things control me now. Memories can be good or bad, but I only seem to remember bad things that right off start making me feel something that isnt real. Its made up in my head and I need to learn how to resolve this issues within myself. Im tired of feeling like crap all the time. I'm tired of not having someone special to share the rest of my life with. Im tired of wandering thru the only life Im going to remember hopelessly lost.

Im seeking out answers to all this and I felt after reading some of your post that I am NOT alone in my feelings. That these emotions I have that were like boxed goods and we all got a package of the same stuff. I hope I dont seem like a real slob here. I work very hard and am an engineer and I just dont like what Im doing anymore. So we are going to try something else.
Kelly Lee
 
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Re: new Person here

Postby randomguy » Mon Dec 26, 2011 5:41 pm

Hi Kelly.

I like the "boxed goods" analogy, it's like a modern humanity confusion kit we get to start playing with at childhood right? It's great that it can be seen that we are not that stuff.

Here are some lines from Hafiz for you.

Don't surrender your loneliness
So quickly.
Let it cut more deep.
Let it ferment and season you
As few human
Or even divine ingredients can.



Our capacity to experience states at peace, as peaceful stillness, is a deep well. Noticing and trusting this depth within brings lightness to experienced states like loneliness.
Do the yellow-rose petals
tremble and fall
at the rapid's roar?
- Basho
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