Hi eweryone

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Hi eweryone

Postby Hopeful » Mon May 28, 2012 2:59 pm

I have as long as I can remember been living a life constantly daydreaming and dreaming I was somewhere else or someone else. Think it was some sort of defence mechanism that set in.

I grew up with a mother who used to yell at me and beet me. I can not understand my father, he is a nice person who looked after me, but he is always «right» in every discussion. It is pointless to have discussions with him. He is wery stubborn and difficult at times.

At school I was constantly bullied for ewery possible reason. Had almost no friends growing up, but lived much of the years daydreaming and completely lost in my on thinking. Mostly negative and apocalyptic thinking. I also talked alot with my self or another self when I was alone. When I was with others I could not stay present, but my brain started to think and wish I was somewhere else. Or I got lost in some pointless thinking and daydreaming. Not beeing aware of much around me.
I did not complete an education and I am stuck in a job I don't like.

This has led me until this day to resort alot to daydreaming letting my mind choose whatever carachter it wanted to be without being able to stop it.
I have been reading and listening to e-books of Tolle for a few years and it was an eyeopener that my brain was acting so dysfunctional.
I found it wery difficult if not impossible to live in the present moment and I still have that problem.

I have a feeling that I am able to stop thinking and live more in the moment. I have experienced that my mind do not wonder off so much when I am in meetings, watching a movie or beeing with friends.

When I drink the thoughts come out again, without me being able to stop or letting them pass. Its like alcohol trigger something in my brain and I can't stop thinking.
I still tend to want to be someone I am not, but not to so much anymore.

I still have a problem with not identifying with my thoughts and I still tend to daydream about me being someone else or somewhere else. The thoughts that come are mainly negative and negative focused. I would like to have more positive thoughts.

Now that I am aware of what a healthy mind chould do I have not the same tendency to let my mind take over me, but can sit still and just relax without thoughts for a while. Not for long though, just a few moments.

I think that reading and listening to Tolles e-books have changed mee from being completely lost in my thougts to see things more clear.
Hopeful
 
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Joined: Sun May 27, 2012 6:08 pm

Re: Hi eweryone

Postby karmarider » Mon May 28, 2012 7:20 pm

Hopeful wrote:I still have a problem with not identifying with my thoughts and I still tend to daydream about me being someone else or somewhere else. The thoughts that come are mainly negative and negative focused. I would like to have more positive thoughts.


Daydreaming is not a problem. Thinking is not a problem. And there is a great myth in the spiritual world that we can and should move attention from negative thoughts to more positive thoughts.

The deep identification with daydreaming (and thoughts and emotions) can keep attention trapped in particular corners of the mind, and for that you're already using the technique of "observing", and I think that is an effective way to do. John Sherman's "looking at you" is also highly effective and I think much easier to understand and do.
karmarider
 
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Joined: Wed Mar 25, 2009 8:00 pm
Location: Florida

Re: Hi eweryone

Postby Hopeful » Mon Jun 04, 2012 10:17 pm

That is the opposit of the teaching is it not?
Hopeful
 
Posts: 2
Joined: Sun May 27, 2012 6:08 pm


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