mom of special needs child ,new here!

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mom of special needs child ,new here!

Postby samarpana » Thu Dec 27, 2012 6:55 pm

Hello, my name is Sue and I just want to find peace behind and around and through all the mental and emotional illness of this world.

It seems hard to have strong healthy relationships , based on intelligence of awareness and pure peace.

I know it begins with me, so here I am. in my moment, asking how I can pay attention to WHAT TRULY IS, with out me getting distracted by all the drama that seems to be part of most situations that involve adults as well as children.

I have a Down syndrome child, age 11, and life seems hard for regular 11 yr olds, being I also have a 30 yr old son, and remember the hardships of being young in America, in a tough city, and then with ill adults in my older sons life.
Now I am sharing my d.s. childs shoes, having to walk with him, with each step, in a world that seems upside down, and inside out.
My son is full of compassion.towards everyone, yet he also is now reflecting back to others , it seems, their own pain, resentments, ect.
He does not seem to judge, though does react to others pain in unexpected ways.
I feel I need to learn to discover the peace behind situations and to teach my child this too, for us to have a peaceful and meaningful life. I am my sons guide as well as he being my guide and mentor, being he is unconditional and loving and innocent. I also am responsible for him to learn to express his intelligence in different ways, though with a background of peace, with the help of a community, our life can be one of healing and beauty and bliss!
I apriciate all and any feedback, and wish to learn and share and help others.
Peace, Sue
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Re: mom of special needs child ,new here!

Postby rideforever » Thu Dec 27, 2012 7:46 pm

Wishing you all the best Sue over this Christmas and New Year.

It's wonderful that you are taking such an interest in your son's wellbeing and your own.

I try to get out in the fresh air and walk around somewhere nice every day, it makes all the difference to me.

Be well.
I was proud, and I demanded the finest teacher
.. .. and when he appeared
.. .. .. .. I was so small
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Re: mom of special needs child ,new here!

Postby samarpana » Thu Dec 27, 2012 8:32 pm

Thank you ,Forever! A thought did come upon me this morning to take a walk in a beautiful place,here, near a beach. Also, I am today blessed with a most auspicious Mantra! the one that you carry diligently and share for ones like me........i am writing it down now. Hari Om
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Re: mom of special needs child ,new here!

Postby runstrails » Thu Dec 27, 2012 9:37 pm

Welcome, Samarpana. I enjoyed your wise words. Looking forward to more of your posts.
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Re: mom of special needs child ,new here!

Postby Mamaseeker » Mon Jan 07, 2013 9:14 pm

Hello Sue,
I'm a mama to a 9 year old daughter. I loved how you said that your 11 year old doesn't judge anybody and has compassion for everyone. Isn't that wonderful?? How many normal functioning adults can do that? Be a proud Mama, Sue. You a raising a special soul!!
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Re: mom of special needs child ,new here!

Postby MaPremSahasi » Tue Jan 08, 2013 3:29 am

Hi, I'm a special needs mom too (autism).

First, sending good feeling to you!!!!!!!!!! how wonderful to "meet" someone like you. I've been thinking that in many ways our kids are guiding us (if we let them).
Still, it's hard to "let go" of the typical life dream/NIGHTMARE (healthy, perfectly adjusted children), right? maybe me?

MUCH love,

Sahasi
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Re: mom of special needs child ,new here!

Postby Mamaseeker » Tue Jan 08, 2013 6:08 pm

MaPremSahasi wrote:Hi, I'm a special needs mom too (autism).

First, sending good feeling to you!!!!!!!!!! how wonderful to "meet" someone like you. I've been thinking that in many ways our kids are guiding us (if we let them).
Still, it's hard to "let go" of the typical life dream/NIGHTMARE (healthy, perfectly adjusted children), right? maybe me?

MUCH love,

Sahasi

Hi there Sahasi,
I know what Sahasi means in Sanskrit. The courageous woman! You are indeed courageous to take life head-on, mom. Welcome to the forum. I'm a newbie myself. It's good to see moms here. :)
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Re: mom of special needs child ,new here!

Postby MaPremSahasi » Wed Jan 09, 2013 1:31 am

Thanks Mamaseeker! what's your story? How many kids do you have? Have you studied Sanskrit? How long have you been on this path? (or are you?)
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Re: mom of special needs child ,new here!

Postby samarpana » Mon Jan 14, 2013 10:53 pm

Hi ALL,
I am happy to hear such supportive words about special needs children. My closest friends and relatives seem to not understand that these children reflect the people and the very immediate energy that they encounter.
These special needs children, and adults, do not lie, hide, put on masks, nor do they really care to appear to be anything more or less than whom they are! They do not hide their feelings,nor pretend to feel otherwise. And no matter how people and experts want to catagorize them ( as they do on paper) , these children defy catagorization!
They are all uniquely different, change according to conditions, and show their intelligence,in very subtle ways. What a terrible delima, for peoples ego"s. My son brings out the best and the worst in others, though I wish it were humorous! I get critized for his actions, critised for his nonactions. How do you tell a teacher that the child needs a loving aura to learn and excell?
So I deeply understand some of the challenges that come with these children.
I care about his academics because he teaches love, joy,timelessness, questioning spirit, The Now, happyness and joy anywhere; unprovoked!
He heals with a hug, brings loving tears to strangers eyes, approaches elderly as if they were his grandparents, beggers, as if they were his friends.
He recognizes sadness and shyness in specific people in a crowd of people; and then welcomes them to their body, and into the crowd.
He keeps me awake in my heart, and introduces me to about 5 people a day.
\i focus on the positive, never the future, except, how can \i make a difference right now, with helping him talk better, read better, write better, care for himself and others better. I can not teach him, what \i am seeking, how to love better...and know who \i am, He seems to have brought these gifts with him.

For all mom\'s, being judged, just say, as \i must say, spend a day with my child, one day. Yes, he may spit when angry, not listen nor want to hear, move his body and go where he wants, touch, take, and yell, depending on his enviroment. No, he doesn"t fit in always with children that fear how he looks and speaks.
He acts a bit rowdy around relatives whom feel sorry for him for being different.
Let them go with him where he feels acepted, and nurished and loved. My son is loved tremendously around 20 something year olds. He talks, sings, dances, is accepted wholeheartly, and adored. He acts like them,,,, because this is the group of people that are disenfranchised , whom remember the pain of growing up and being accepted, and the crowd that crave love and acceptance! Yea! for the twentysomething year olds! And thank you.
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Re: mom of special needs child ,new here!

Postby tod » Mon Jan 14, 2013 11:13 pm

Wonderful post Sue. I had tears in my eyes when I read it. Your son is educating us all. Thank you for relating 'his message' to us.
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Re: mom of special needs child ,new here!

Postby smiileyjen101 » Tue Jan 15, 2013 1:12 am

Welcome!
Gosh, we're all gifts to each other :D in the wide spectrum of 'difference' everyone has the same needs - to love, be loved, to learn to accept and be accepted.

My closest friends and relatives seem to not understand that these children reflect the people and the very immediate energy that they encounter.

You've nailed it on the head there Sue.

How do you tell a teacher that the child needs a loving aura to learn and excell?
Exactly like that ^ :wink: explain it in a loving aura/energy so that they too can learn and excel.

What your child needs, we all need. Not only will your child benefit from a teacher or others around children knowing the power of atmospheric energy and what feeds into it (love - fear), so will all children and the learners themself.

My youngest daughter was a best friend to a young girl with Downs Syndrome and their friendship was an incredible blessing, to both of them and to all of us around them - even if they both got into a LOT of trouble from some adults who just didn't get it at times.

In my own friendship with a young friend with autism and other health issues I saw his fragility and the 'cracks' in his armour of 'separation' from others and would be aware of my own energy emittances in his wider field of pick up.

It's a two - edged sword though - blessed are the cracks, for they let in the light
& it leaves them vulnerable to the energies around them bleeding into their psyche.

I know it begins with me, so here I am. in my moment, asking how I can pay attention to WHAT TRULY IS, with out me getting distracted by all the drama that seems to be part of most situations that involve adults as well as children.

When we feel emotions they are in their pure form. Our emotions, our feelings are our communication with whatever stimuli is touching us.

The expression of emotions is not the same as feeling them. It's our response to our feelings flowing out from within us.

And then we have other's responses to their feelings about our responses to and expression of our feelings.

Feelings are never wrong, can never be judged or criticised by another. How we respond to those feelings and express them, and whether we even can respond - if the 'stuff' of the feelings is within our ability to respond is a deeper cognitive functioning.

I'm not sure if it will help you, your son or other adults that you relate with but I taught my children a thing
... whose feeling is this?
Is it mine? If it is I can do something with it - choose my response - expression of it.

If it's not then I can only wrap it in love and let it go from whence it came

- whose is it?
Try it next time you're expressing an emotion.

I get critized for his actions, critised for his nonactions.


You don't have to accept their criticism, you can let it fly right on by, or leave in their hands with a polite no thank you.

The Dalai Lama tells a story of if someone offers you a gift, you don't have to accept it, you can decide that as it won't serve you, you don't want to accept it and leave it in their hands, who then is holding it?
People think if someone offers them - a gift, advice, criticism etc they have to take it - you don't. You can look at it and decide if you want to take it, if it will serve you by all means, take it into yourself. If it won't then leave it where it is.

If the answer is it doesn't serve you, then the answer is 'no thank you', whether you say that in your head & heart or out loud.

It's the funniest thing when you say it out loud though... It's kind of what your son likely already says > demonstrates > expresses.

Honesty is the highest form of love. Your child shows you that all the time no doubt :D
Our rights start deep within our humanity; they end where another's begin~~ SmileyJen
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Re: mom of special needs child ,new here!

Postby MaPremSahasi » Tue Jan 15, 2013 2:49 am

Yes yes...you are all beautiful writers on this. My son 16 "autism" is so concerned with kindness and justice. He also can live in the "now" like many/most children (and as we once did! remember how slowly time seemed to move when we were kids? I noticed that after my awakening (thanks to Tolle--who communicated the truth in a way that could get through to me) that my sense of physical time has slowed way way down.......do you find this? I feel closer to my son because I feel that we inhabit the same world again! I see him (despite his challenges and frustrations) as wonderful and awe inspiring, and BELIVE ME as a suburban mom previously enmeshed in the social "mom-world" (teas, get togethers--opportunities to "show off" the kids' accomplishments, the dream of suburban family bliss)--as someone who WANTED this dream so badly (for my son to be "normal" like theirs), I was depressed and despondent every time I thought of him! How amazingly blind I was, and what a relief it is to have "come to the other side" and awake to reality...not sure if this makes sense....

Anyway, I send such love to the other moms (and children) who are walking this path...and if any of you are still struggling with despair...I promise you can be free immediately. I finally really TRIED Tolle's easy instructions, and my awakening happened in a single day (after reading tolle for about three months)..
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Re: mom of special needs child ,new here!

Postby Mamaseeker » Tue Jan 15, 2013 4:55 pm

Sahasi,
I don't have an autistic child, but my nephew has autism. And I totally understand what you said about the suburban mom stuff. Been there, done that. And I'm so glad to be done with all of the nonsense. Yes, I do understand what you mean by "Time slowing down" once you start becoming Aware. Time has slowed down a lot for me. I don't rush through anything now-a-days. I just try to let everything move in it's own pace. When you just let-it-be, the freedom you gain is precious!! :)

And about your autistic 16 year old, isn't it amazing how they actually seem very normal when you compare them to the insanity around you? Who is to say what is normal, and what is not? Why is there a need in the society to define everything? Why not just LET_IT_BE? We as humanity has a still long way to go. We are steeped in ignorance and it won't loosen its grip so easily. But there is progress, and hope it speeds up a bit. J. Krishnamurti once said "It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society".
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Re: mom of special needs child ,new here!

Postby samarpana » Tue Jan 22, 2013 9:22 am

Hi! Just a quick THANK YOU All. All of your replies have brought tears to my eyes, as I realize the power of these posts.

I learn from every single post I read, tremendously, being that they are people reaching out speaking honestly, and I am humbled by all of them.
Thank you again for the humble warmth , and new and exciting ways of viewing things! Thank you Ekhart Tolle for bringing us together to speak honestly, as we seek awareness.
Sue
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