Hi! My experience so far.

Here you can introduce yourself to the rest of the members and visitors.

Hi! My experience so far.

Postby Jcarter » Thu Feb 14, 2013 7:41 pm

Hi everyone! I've been lurking here for awhile, trying to get answers before I ask too many questions. First off my name is Jess. I'm a 32 year old stay at home mom of three kids. All under six. To say they take up a lot of my time would be an understatement. Lol. Anyhow, I read Power of Now about a month ago and just finished A New Earth. The way I stumbled on them was sort of strange. I had a rare hour to myself and had intended to go clothes shopping but somehow I found myself at the bookstore next door. Which I probably would never have done on my "own". So I found myself drawn to Proof of Heaven the book by dr Alexander. Had never heard of it before this day. Let me just say I grew up In the Methodist Church in the south. Sort of just went with the flow but never really believed any of it. I remember my older stepsister telling me on day " I can't wait to get to heaven where we can worship god for all eternity!" Boy , did that sound terrible! I couldn't stand to sit in church for an hour! The idea of the big guy upstairs, judging me and probably sending me to hell was not very appealing at all. I didn't feel any connection to him nor did I believe Jesus was his son. So long story short I very much turned away from religion.
So i ened up buying proof of Heaven and read the book in about 48 hours. For the first time, something "made sense" . I don't know how many have read it so I will stop there. But in the recommended reading section was PON. Reading PON I stopped halfway through and was sort of afraid to continue. It sat on my dresser for a week before I decided to finish it. I think my ego was really afraid of what was happening. Like it was being " found out". I have been trying to be present as much as possible. Some days it's so hard and the kids are driving me nuts, I just want to be somewhere else! If any of you have young children I'm sure you can relate! They are soooo needy! But since practicing presence I find I am more patient and I try to at least accept the situations that are unpleasant ( three year old screaming her head off in the grocery store). Also recognizing that they also have pain bodies has helped me be more understanding with them. Sometimes they yell and scream and cry and you just don't know why, so the pain body explanation Tolle talks about makes sense.
So anyway, I have one more experience to share ( sorry this is long). The other night my mom was supposed to come get the kids for a few hours so my husband and I could relax a bit. She calls a few minutes before she's supposed to come and says she is sick. I won't go into detail here but I think she was lying to get out of it. Our relationship is not that great but that's another ball o wax! So I find myself reaching for the wine. I'm not a raging alcoholic or anything but I do drink several nights a week. I always feel relaxed for a bit but my pain body always gets triggered. I get depressed, angry, and always feel super guilty the next day. So anyway I'm drinking and my pain body goes nuts! I know it's happening, I'm watching it happen and I can't stop it! I'm yelling at the kids, my husband. Over nothing. I'm crying, so depressed. Finally I pass out in the bed and my husband puts the kids to bed. The next morning I wake up and the guilt is unimaginable. I'm not hungover but I feel so depressed. I hug my kids and husband. Try to apologize. So that morning I have to take my daughter to preschool and I'm driving, thinking about everything and something says to me " you cannot drink anymore". It wasn't my ego, it was like another voice. And all the sudden I felt FREE and so peaceful. It washed over me and I almost cried with relief. That was a few days ago and since I have felt a peace and a stillness like never before. I have no desire to drink ever again. I know that it won't alway be this easy, but I'm enjoying it while it lasts. Anyway thank you for reading. I'm happy to be here!
Jcarter
 
Posts: 9
Joined: Wed Feb 06, 2013 9:02 pm

Re: Hi! My experience so far.

Postby Webwanderer » Thu Feb 14, 2013 10:23 pm

Welcome to the forum Jcarter. It's funny, when I was reading your post this thought comes to me with unusual clarity. "She needs to stop drinking immediately." Then your next line was the message you got. Maybe the message was inherent in your words because you already knew. Curious.

I would only suggest at this point that you be patient with yourself. While the ship can be turned, it is a big ship with lots of momentum, so it may take a while before you really see the results of a new direction.

Take some time, several times a day, even if it's just five minutes alone in another room and remember who you are. Rest in the experience of being clear. You've read Eben Alexander's book, so you know who you are is great deal more than this familiar human perspective. Get in alignment with that truer self and let it guide you and give you insight. Feel your way to it. You'll recognize true insight by the quality of its feel.

Again welcome to the forum. We encourage your participation. It's true that just writing our deeper thoughts and feelings makes them consistently more evident in our lives. Enjoy.

WW
User avatar
Webwanderer
Moderator
Moderator
 
Posts: 6279
Joined: Fri May 12, 2006 12:03 am

Re: Hi! My experience so far.

Postby Jcarter » Fri Feb 15, 2013 1:40 am

Thank you WW. Right now I am just trying to take it all in, not force anything. Each night I have been trying to feel my inner body before sleep and its getting easier. Also I have been having trouble sleeping well. This has never been a problem before. I wake up several times during the night and sometimes it's with a feeling of fear? Like when I was a kid and I would get scared at night. Is this normal? It's freaking me out a bit. I try to ignore it and go back to sleep but its hard. Also my appetite is down and I haven't been feeling like eating much. Never had a problem before with that either.

I had one other experience recently that I would like to share. I was in the library with my daughter and she was playing on the computer ( we go there for story time every week). I was reading A New Earth and it was the beginning where Tolle is talking about flowers and birds. Well we got ready to leave and as we exited the library I looked up and saw that the wall in the hallway was covered with an artists display of photos. They had been there awile but I had never really LOOKED at them before. I realized they were ALL photos of beautiful flowers and birds! I stopped in my tracks. It was like the universe was saying "Now do I have your attention??" It was great.

Jess
Jcarter
 
Posts: 9
Joined: Wed Feb 06, 2013 9:02 pm

Re: Hi! My experience so far.

Postby Webwanderer » Fri Feb 15, 2013 6:50 am

Jcarter wrote:Also I have been having trouble sleeping well. This has never been a problem before. I wake up several times during the night and sometimes it's with a feeling of fear? Like when I was a kid and I would get scared at night. Is this normal? It's freaking me out a bit.

Who knows what's normal? It is certainly not unusual. The ego's familiar perspective is being shaken. Until it gets used to a newer world view it's likely to put up a little resistance in the form of fear which may well show up in dreams and foreboding. Stay the course. The ego will adjust and adapt and peaceful sleep will return when it does. Be patient and treat yourself with love. You deserve it. We all do.

I was reading A New Earth and it was the beginning where Tolle is talking about flowers and birds. Well we got ready to leave and as we exited the library I looked up and saw that the wall in the hallway was covered with an artists display of photos. They had been there awile but I had never really LOOKED at them before. I realized they were ALL photos of beautiful flowers and birds! I stopped in my tracks. It was like the universe was saying "Now do I have your attention??" It was great.

Life has a way of sending us messages. It's great that you are recognizing them. Pay attention and appreciate life in the moment. It pays great dividends in joyful experience.

WW
User avatar
Webwanderer
Moderator
Moderator
 
Posts: 6279
Joined: Fri May 12, 2006 12:03 am

Re: Hi! My experience so far.

Postby weezard » Tue Feb 19, 2013 11:07 pm

I got an interesting experience also... I'm currently reading The power of now, for the 3rd time. Also I was browsing some books on the Amazon yesterday and the one book that caught my eye was the Proof of heaven, that you've mentioned, I only wish listed it though. Today I've found this forum by chance (was googling something else) and this is the 3rd post I read here and it mentions the book I was just interested in yesterday.
I think I will follow this tip from the above and go read the book :)
weezard
 
Posts: 1
Joined: Tue Feb 19, 2013 10:58 pm

Re: Hi! My experience so far.

Postby Webwanderer » Wed Feb 20, 2013 1:29 am

Proof of Heaven is a very good read. That it came from a neurosurgeon who did research in brain science makes it all the more significant. Because so much of materialist science can't see beyond the brain in matters of consciousness, having one of their own so clearly discover a greater reality makes it unique. Enjoy the read, and welcome to the forum.

WW
User avatar
Webwanderer
Moderator
Moderator
 
Posts: 6279
Joined: Fri May 12, 2006 12:03 am

Re: Hi! My experience so far.

Postby smiileyjen101 » Wed Feb 20, 2013 5:11 am

Hi JC, welome to the forum :D

I love the clarity with which you are 'noticing' - synchronicities, truths of things, awareness of 'stuff', following your intuitions etc

Weezard said: I think I will follow this tip from the above and go read the book

I had to giggle at this... 'this tip from the above' (proof of heaven) hehehe!!

I haven't read Proof of Heaven yet, although I am extremely pleased that someone who can better explain it to other brain scientists has had this experience, new frontiers in science are congregating and exploring with a more 'open mind' :wink: .

JC said: Some days it's so hard and the kids are driving me nuts, I just want to be somewhere else! If any of you have young children I'm sure you can relate! They are soooo needy! But since practicing presence I find I am more patient and I try to at least accept the situations that are unpleasant (three year old screaming her head off in the grocery store). Also recognizing that they also have pain bodies has helped me be more understanding with them. Sometimes they yell and scream and cry and you just don't know why, so the pain body explanation Tolle talks about makes sense.


Please understand that what I'm about to say here may be 'shocking' but it's not intended to hurt or harm or anything of that nature, I'm just following my own intuition and sharing a quite likely very 'different' perspective, based on my experiences.

Towards the end of A New Earth there is a wonderful discussion about states of consciousness and awareness of what state you are responding 'with' - I'm an absolute fan of this part of ET's teaching - he details the differences in quality of life, relating, responding in awareness - in states of acceptance, enjoyment and enthusiasm, as opposed to states of making enemy, obstacle, or means to an end of a person/s, thing/s or situation.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not aware all of the time or by any means 'perfect'.

I feel the need to tell you that one of the greatest things I learned in my own experience in the light, was the 'difference' these two qualities of energy in motion have, on us, on those around us and on the 'all' as experienced in the light, they are like two different pathways that energy flows through and down, and while nothing is all-significant, neither is anything all-insignificant.

This 'knowing' just happened to be simultaneously absorbed at the same time as my infant son was experiencing C2 spinal injury - (the same degree of paralysis, but 10 years before Christopher Reeve / Superman). I also absorbed love as the immense power of the whole shebang that is likely (it usually is) detailed in Dr Alexander's experience. One can choose, in any and every moment to BE love, to be present, regardless of the situation.

This 'might' be the shocking bit... (breathe out and hold my hand here...)
Children are not naturally 'needy'...
Pain bodies are grown through experience...

if the quality of attention is authentic their needs are met with very little effort on the part of others,
and it's the same for every one, and every thing, and every situation.
if one is raised in fear and reaction more than love and response, one can only imitate what one learns.

If you think of this -
The other night my mom was supposed to come get the kids for a few hours so my husband and I could relax a bit. She calls a few minutes before she's supposed to come and says she is sick. I won't go into detail here but I think she was lying to get out of it. Our relationship is not that great but that's another ball o wax! So I find myself reaching for the wine. I'm not a raging alcoholic or anything but I do drink several nights a week. I always feel relaxed for a bit but my pain body always gets triggered. I get depressed, angry, and always feel super guilty the next day. So anyway I'm drinking and my pain body goes nuts! I know it's happening, I'm watching it happen and I can't stop it! I'm yelling at the kids, my husband. Over nothing. I'm crying, so depressed. Finally I pass out in the bed and my husband puts the kids to bed.


and notice the energy of it is the same as this
three year old screaming her head off in the grocery store...


and if you look it's also the same energy here -
She calls a few minutes before she's supposed to come and says she is sick. I won't go into detail here but I think she was lying to get out of it. Our relationship is not that great but that's another ball o wax!


Your mother is you, in another generation. Your daughter is you, in another generation.

....

Acceptance is just the beginning of the flow of conscious energy - it's not just accept = nothing, it's turning the tap on and allowing love to flow (love = gratitude + generosity) this quickly flows into enjoyment - pouring joy into...
and then very naturally with the increased energy flow it becomes enthused with the positive energies... as ET mentions - being the arrow flying towards a target and enjoying the journey.

It then becomes more experiences like this -
I was in the library with my daughter and she was playing on the computer ( we go there for story time every week). I was reading A New Earth and it was the beginning where Tolle is talking about flowers and birds. Well we got ready to leave and as we exited the library I looked up and saw that the wall in the hallway was covered with an artists display of photos. They had been there awile but I had never really LOOKED at them before. I realized they were ALL photos of beautiful flowers and birds! I stopped in my tracks.

It was like the universe was saying "Now do I have your attention??" It was great.


Now that it does have your attention - can you shine that same awareness and feeling of gratitude and generosity on your self - your children, your mother - they are gifts of the present for you to enjoy right now - and we only ever have this moment to do that.

When you look at things with love, you see love everywhere. It comes through you, for you, as you.

Welcome to the New Earth JC!!
Our rights start deep within our humanity; they end where another's begin~~ SmileyJen
http://www.balancinginfluences.com
User avatar
smiileyjen101
 
Posts: 3688
Joined: Wed Sep 22, 2010 3:44 am

Re: Hi! My experience so far.

Postby Jcarter » Wed Feb 20, 2013 7:02 pm

Thank you smileyjen. I think that I get what you are trying to say here. I do believe life has lead me down this path for a reason. I a here because I want to change. The way I deal with my kids, my relationship with my mother, everything.

I read about your NDE in another post. Losing my children is one of my greatest fears, but I'm working on that too. My middle daughter was born with a birth defect and it was quite a shock. She went through surgery to correct it and we manage her condition. It was a VERY difficult time in my life. she is healthy and thriving now.

I have also completely stopped drinking. This was something that I have known needed to stop, but I haven't been able to do until recently.

One of the things that has kept me holding back if the fear that I will be "different" and that I might not feel the same way about my children. Then I saw a post by another mom on here who said that she had the same fear. Then she said her fears were unfounded. ET says, "nothing real is ever lost". Simple yet beautiful words.
Jcarter
 
Posts: 9
Joined: Wed Feb 06, 2013 9:02 pm

Re: Hi! My experience so far.

Postby smiileyjen101 » Thu Feb 21, 2013 11:09 pm

I like this one too Jess...
Eckhart Tolle -
"Life will give you whatever experience is most helpful for the evolution of your consciousness.
How do you know this is the experience you need?
Because this is the experience you are having at the moment."


Applied to any thing, this ^ is sublime.

i've been musing that it's kind of fascinating that Proof of Heaven brought you to the Power of Now & A New Earth and has somehow shifted something in you about your own power in your own situations.

For me there must be a resonant pathway between them.... and also on the frequency of empowering energy. (nice!)


One of the things that has kept me holding back if the fear that I will be "different" and that I might not feel the same way about my children. Then I saw a post by another mom on here who said that she had the same fear. Then she said her fears were unfounded

I'm not sure if you meant being held back from stopping drinking, or diving into awareness (?)
Either way, yes things will change :D that's the one eternal constant in life.

If you keep doing what you've always done, you'll keep getting what you've always got.

So change - in both finding different ways to express your emotions, and in interacting with your children, is inevitable.
Not a thing one needs to fear though, rather be aware of the cause-effect experiences, we're all works in progress, all little sponges of experience. When we recognise that in ourselves, I think it heightens our awareness of our children's experiences too, breeds empathy, energises grace in the graceless, and life is seen and experienced more as a precious, fleeting adventure.
Our rights start deep within our humanity; they end where another's begin~~ SmileyJen
http://www.balancinginfluences.com
User avatar
smiileyjen101
 
Posts: 3688
Joined: Wed Sep 22, 2010 3:44 am

Re: Hi! My experience so far.

Postby Lbrain » Tue Dec 03, 2013 2:54 am

Proof of Heaven was great. You should listen to some of Eben's interviews on the sceptiko podcast.
"I don't know where you get your delusions laserbrain" - Princess Leia Organa, Hidden Rebel Base, Hoth
User avatar
Lbrain
 
Posts: 11
Joined: Thu Nov 28, 2013 4:37 pm
Location: Central Massachusetts

Re: Hi! My experience so far.

Postby Onceler » Thu Dec 05, 2013 1:00 pm

This is a really great thread. I'm so pleased to read something positive and optimistic. Welcome to the forum, jcarter, and thanks for your honesty. It's great that you understood the spirit of smilyjen's thoughtful comments......
Be present, be pleasant.
User avatar
Onceler
 
Posts: 2199
Joined: Sun Nov 11, 2007 1:35 am
Location: My house


Return to Introductions

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests