Hi, finding my way through a difficult life

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Hi, finding my way through a difficult life

Postby reikistar » Wed May 22, 2013 4:31 pm

Hi there. I've just found this forum although I've been a reader of Tolle's work for a few years. There's so much to read and absorb here I hardly know where to start so I thought an intro would be a good place :D

My life is quite tough, as I imagine is the case for a lot of people here. I had a difficult upbringing and I escaped into fantasy/storytelling. As an adult I developed a serious chronic illness. I experienced some improvement in health two years later at which time I married and had one child. The marriage was abusive, my child is beautiful but was diagnosed with severe autism at age 3. He is now 11 and has little speech. My ill health returned some years ago and although I've tried all sorts of things I've reached a stage in my life where acceptance is the only thing left.

These days I share part care of my child, the rest of the week is spent doing what I can although I am physically limited. I have always been interested in spirituality, psychology and philosophy and have had various experiences which suggest to me that this life isn't all there is. I was recommended 'A Power of Now' by an alternative therapist I saw some years ago. When I first read it I found it boring, two years later I picked it up again and it resonated. At that point I bought myself A New Earth and liked that even better, particularly Tolle's views on the pain-body which I also resonate with.

I have had episodes of depression all my life which are interspersed with good periods where I feel deeply connected to everyone and thing. Unfortunately I've been in a very dark place recently where my suffering has taken me over in like a kind of nightmare I can't wake up from. It feels like everything is closing in on me and I've had destructive thoughts. When there's space around the thoughts I can see that this may be a growing process I'm working through.

My interests are music, reading, writing, learning, being in nature, animals, self development.

I really look forward to reading and posting here.
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Re: Hi, finding my way through a difficult life

Postby treasuretheday » Wed May 22, 2013 9:09 pm

Hi Reikistar...welcome!
reikistar wrote:When there's space around the thoughts I can see that this may be a growing process I'm working through.
That's very wise. It's all grist for the mill! Maybe challenge can be the most vital instrument in the symphony of our spiritual practice. Challenges touch the heart, connect us, and deepen our love.

Love... for the mystery and magic of life, for the miracle of your son, and for the unfolding of your true self, prompts you to begin again, even after many dark nights of the soul. I hear enthusiasm, curiosity & gratitude along with pain, disappointment & struggle in your introduction. Thank you for sharing so openly. I am sure I speak for many others here as I say I look forward to your contributions to the forum.
reikistar wrote:My interests are music, reading, writing, learning, being in nature, animals, self development.
Mine too! And I respond to some long-standing pain syndromes with a great deal acceptance (& a little exercise, as well!)

Peace be with you, Reikistar.
Life itself is the proper binge.
-Julia Child
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Re: Hi, finding my way through a difficult life

Postby kiki » Thu May 23, 2013 12:00 am

Welcome to the board, Reikistar. There is a lot to explore here, so indulge yourself and take advantage of the search feature, located in the upper right corner of the page. I hope you enjoy your stay with us.

kiki
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Re: Hi, finding my way through a difficult life

Postby reikistar » Thu May 23, 2013 10:24 am

Many thanks both of you. I haven't quite worked out how to quote properly yet but I'm sure I'll get the hang of it!

Yes I do feel some enthusiasm and gratitude for my journey, hard as it has been. Sometimes these feelings are overtaken by pain and anger (something that has happening a lot lately) but then I somehow find my way back. I'm trying to reach a point of acceptance and also forgiveness for the mistakes I've made.

I look forward to posting on the forum.
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Re: Hi, finding my way through a difficult life

Postby treasuretheday » Thu May 23, 2013 2:42 pm

Hello again, Reikistar. Quoting is easy peasy. Just highlight the words you want to quote, then click onto the "quote" button in red on the upper right corner. That's it!
reikistar wrote:Sometimes these feelings are overtaken by pain and anger
Repressed feelings hang around & drag us down if we don't work through them. By all means, (imo), we should dredge them up & feel them fully, so we can release them. If we bury them inside they will continue to resurface, triggered by one thing or another. Listening to sad music, therapuetic massage work, breath work or body work, certain exercise, can help us finish feeling them. We can have our feelings...without them having us.

Most of us didn't have anyone to tell us the truth about our feelings, so we think they are more powerful than they are! Many of us it seems, were raised to be as phobic of our feelings as we are about spiders or snakes. But as with spiders & snakes, it has been my experience that we can reduce our fear of our feelings by enountering them at increased levels of exposure. Feelings then become more "user-friendly."

Psychologist Wilhelm Reich was the first to call attention to our "skeletal body armor" caused by contracted muscles & restricted breathing that result from habitual postures we take in response to fearful feelings. He saw how our repressed feelings can become somatized in the body. Physical postures we take, like shrugging or cringing, & mental postures we take, like avoiding or blaming, can, over time, be reflected in changes to ourselves on a cellular level. Painful feelings that are repressed are thus stored in the tissues of our body, but can be released through the practices mentioned earlier!
Life itself is the proper binge.
-Julia Child
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Re: Hi, finding my way through a difficult life

Postby EileenDavid » Sun Jun 30, 2013 7:44 pm

Hello,
Your life story sounds much like my own. Suffering with depression and unhappiness. The Power Of Now has hit the spot, at last I see the way to being freed from the misery brought on through my own mind.
I did read Eckhart Tolle's Book a few years age and loved it even then although I only seemed to pick up "being in the moment" and spoke of it as the most wonderful realisation.
I have been drawn back to read it again by the intencity of my unhappy feelings and much to my surprise there is a whole lot more to The Power Of Now than I first saw.
It makes me wonder if I was unable to see all that was intended in this book until the time was right and very unhappy circumstances seemed to pile up which forced me into a desperate situation with unbearable feelings. Eckhart's book was never far away as I always loved for it but didn't read it again untill now. I am able to overcome the dread my life had taked on and feel so much relief. Happy days
EileenDavid :D
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Re: Hi, finding my way through a difficult life

Postby Sighclone » Mon Jul 01, 2013 2:05 am

Welcome EileenDavid! Happy to have you join!
It seems that the right book, guru, forum, etc. arrives at the right time. Sure did for me!

Andy
A person is not a thing or a process, but an opening through which the universe manifests. - Martin Heidegger
There is not past, no future; everything flows in an eternal present. - James Joyce
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