I'm new here

[Sistersamm]

Hi everyone, I've done a little looking around, and I'm hoping this will be the forum I've been looking for.
I am a 57yo mother of 3, grandmother of 4, divorced, seeking that which will make my life feel "right'. I've been spiritually aware from a young age, although for most of my life, I couldn't identify it that way. Discovering my own inner intrinsic value has only come about in the past couple of years. After reading about a million self-help books, years of counseling, depression (with medication and without), the grace of awareness finally dawned on me, and I can at last see myself as a vital member of the cosmos on a spiritual level. Eckhart's two books The Power of Now, and A New Earth have both given me an increased sense of the truth of our existence. I have left behind the depression, and so, so many of the blocks that kept me from my own truth for so long.
What I'm really seeking now is that ultimate definition of Self, the depth of peace and joy that I know resides within me, but I have yet to reach on more than a fleeting basis. When I was a child, I woke up every day with the joy of life, the excitement of wonder as to what this day would bring. I want that back. I want to feel the joy of knowing that I am one with the universe. The deep gratitude and joyfulness that comes with knowing the true beauty of this world we have created together.
I don't know why I can't feel that way except within a meditation once or twice a year.???? I keep several mantras handy for times when the stress of life appears to be overwhelming. "Accept every moment as if you had chosen it" (from The Power of Now) and the words of the channeled Bashar entity "Circumstances don't matter, only State of Being matters". These phrases help me tremendously when my Ego is feeling particularly put-upon and unhappy. They help so much, but still I feel I am missing something huge here, and I don't know what.

Sorry this is so long, I've been searching for a very long time for a group I can talk to about Tolle's teachings.
I hope this is the place.

Thank you
Sistersamm

[erict]

Your words are touching, filled with feeling and depth. I'm glad you've found the forum, and hope you will find support, understanding and guidance to help you along your path.

[SandyJoy]

What a lovely introduction. I will tell that you can find that child again. She is your Original Self, she is who you were before you came into this world and she is the one who will go with you when you leave this world. You are getting glimpses of your Real Self, and It is the Child you already know and love. She is the Unbound Beauty of very soul. She has been you all along. The amazing thing is that you know her well, because you can remember being that carefree, joyful little girl, in those memories of her is where you can find her again. And I don't mean that you go back, but I am saying you can find her again because you do remember who you are and she is with you right now. She reveals the unity and the Love and Joy of Life and you can live that Joy all the time, with everything you do, it is your Real Identity, you living identity right now.

I know, because I have found the Child again. It is like we are born again, but this time we know who and what we have found. When we were children we had not know what we had, we did not see the gift of God we are. We know we are children, but we do not know how blessed It is. We must lose the child and travel the "old man's' journey into the corrupted, mistaken sense of limited self, we had to see 'dark side' so to speak, so we could know what Beauty Is, so we could know what Love Is. Having traveled a time in the "adult-erated' world view, if we are lucky, we are given a second chance, we begin to awaken, return, turn around, repent, to open our heart and to see again that the Child we left behind is still with us, and then as we get glimpses of the Child, we start to awaken again to the Joy and Wonder and Delight and Innocence and Pristine Beauty of our Self, our Real Self ---Upon this second coming of the Child, the real Messiah is within us right now---and we find the Child, and now we Know what we have found, we know and know we know---We know because we are transformed, we are made new, we are filled with a genuine and honest Joyfulness and Love ---there is no doubt what we have found.

Since, from what you say in your introduction, I see you are already making this connection to the child you were as a little girl, I'd like to share this with you, I think it is an important message for you:

http://www.williamsamuel.com/01-07-10-jn-childagain.htm

Keep going, you are beginning to bloom, trust your self.

[Sistersamm]

Thank you, SandyJoy,

I very much appreciate your taking the time to respond to my post, and the enthusiasm I found therein. Your words are encouraging to me, and I cannot tell you how much they speak to me.
The link you added was very interesting reading, albeit just a little over my head. I will look into it more.

Thank you again,

Peace to you and yours

[Sighclone]

Welcome Sistersamm!

Having done so much homework, you will, I'm sure, be comfortable here. As moderators, we are tolerant of many things, but there are some Rules...mostly common sense, here:

http://eckhart-tolle-forum.inner-growth ... f=9&t=2051

I've just finished "The Joy of Living" by Mingyur Rinpoche, and he covers a wide array of topics very carefully and lovingly -- highly recommended. Also anything by Adyashanti including his latest "The Way of Liberation" which is free here:

http://www.adyashanti.org/wayofliberation/

Meditation on a regular basis helps to train the old brain to be steady in Presence...there are many techniques, as you know. Also, any posts by kiki, a moderator here, are helpful.

We hope you enjoy your time here -- the door that ET opened, was just his unique portal. Splendid as it is, there are others with different approaches. I'm such a choirboy, I like them all.

Andy

[Sistersamm]

Hi SighClone:

Thanks for the links, I'll check them out.
And thanks for the welcome !
I'm not sure if I'm here to ask questions or just gather info for myself. Seems like I had a lot of questions when I signed up, but now i'm feeling like I just need to nose around and see what others are saying.
It's all good !'

Peace

[treasuretheday]

Hi Sistersamm. I'm late to the party! (I've gotten to know you a little bit from your posts, now I discover your fascinating introduction!).

Welcome! I have enjoyed & benefited from your wise and down-to-earth posts. You respond with honesty and clarity, and your "voice" is warm & compassionate. Now that I've read your introduction, I know you are speaking from lots of experience as well as from insights acquired through "study."

Reading the wide variety of posts here can be so eye-opening and instructive and touching. I have certainly marveled at & enjoyed the abundance of wisdom shared, & found many wonderful recommendations for books, music and other resources.

But, Writing posts here can, I have found, further clarify and illuminate matters for you like nothing else can. There is something about writing that reaches within us & informs & shapes us. Other processes often fall short of fostering the growth that can stem from this wonderful exercise. Of course, everyone is different, but I sense that due to the way you write (well, clearly, with your heart) that this may be true for you. So...as you write in response to others, you also are assisting your own inner growth process. The effects on the inner being are cumulative. It's all grist for the mill.

Nice having you here, Sistersamm!

[kiki]

But, Writing posts here can, I have found, further clarify and illuminate matters for you like nothing else can. There is something about writing that reaches within us & informs & shapes us. Other processes often fall short of fostering the growth that can stem from this wonderful exercise. Of course, everyone is different, but I sense that due to the way you write (well, clearly, with your heart) that this may be true for you. So...as you write in response to others, you also are assisting your own inner growth process. The effects on the inner being are cumulative. It's all grist for the mill.

I agree completely. Well said.

[Sistersamm]

Hello, treasure and kiki:

Thank you for the welcome, and I could not agree more with your words about writing. I have called myself a writer for many years, having begun a personal journal in 1970 and continue to journal today. I have played with fiction writing, to no great end, and I have written a lot of poetry. All of this personal writing has been very helpful to me to clarify and understand what I feel, believe, and know before I blurt out some un-considered thought process to others.
I have also begun to understand the value of discussion with other, not to tell them what to do or to get myself validated, but to hear my own voice telling ME what is deep within me. I have lived with much isolation in my life, and I have been looking for a place to discuss the things that are important to me. It looks like I might have found it here.
And I'd like to offer one of my favorite pieces to all of you here:


LISTEN TO THE STILLNESS SRoemer



If you listen to the stillness

you can hear the river sigh

through the swaying of the tree limbs

and the bird calls from on high--



Feel the rhythmic heartbeat

of a world at peace with man

stepping lightly down the footpath

seeing everything you can.



Knowing silence brings a freedom

is enough to make you see

that a word can’t make a difference

to either you or me.



So listen in the stillness

to a very special song

Make your heartfelt promises

to the world where you belong.


I hope you all like it



Peace than Thank You

[kiki]

Beautiful poem, Sistersamm, imbued with truth born from silence.

I find that when trying to describe/explain "this" to people that sitting in silence first is a must. Sit still and just be, and then gently bring to mind the intention to respond as authentically as possible. At some point words begin to form, so put them down and "measure" them against silence to feel the truth of them. Listen to silence's response, and make adjustments in wording, and listen again to silence's response. The more refined your adjustments become the more "right" your response feels.

It's true that no words will give truth, but I really feel that those who write from silence in this refined way can lead someone to the brink where the listener/reader can take the final step of dropping into silence themselves. Words from silence speak most clearly to silence in the listener, and they begin to "feel" the truth to which they point. There is a kind of resonance that is engendered in people where they too "get it". Well crafted words arising from silence make it easier for others to simply "be", where they can just drop thinking altogether.

Words from the mind, however, tend to keep the audience in their minds as well. If one reviews such words at a later date it's not uncommon to want to change one's response completely in light of changing circumstances and understanding. It's different with describing truth though.

All of this personal writing has been very helpful to me to clarify and understand what I feel, believe, and know before I blurt out some un-considered thought process to others.
I have also begun to understand the value of discussion with other, not to tell them what to do or to get myself validated, but to hear my own voice telling ME what is deep within me. I have lived with much isolation in my life, and I have been looking for a place to discuss the things that are important to me. It looks like I might have found it here.

Again, I agree completely, and you said it so well. I find that the one who benefits most from my writing is me because an authentic answer forces me to get in touch with the truth of being. And no matter how old the writing the feel of truth remains in them.

[treasuretheday]

Oooh, wonderful poem, Sistersamm! Thanks for sharing. You certainly do have a gift.

All of this personal writing has been very helpful to me to clarify and understand what I feel, believe, and know before I blurt out some un-considered thought process to others.

Ha, ha, how nice...I am so happy for you! Personally, I haven't achieved that degree of clarity from the process of writing just yet! I lament that I still do more than my share of ill-considered blurting. Fortunately, the good-natured community here tends to be quite forgiving and tolerant. I comfort myself at such times by imagining that I offer some modicum of amusement, when all else fails.

not to tell them what to do or to get myself validated, but to hear my own voice telling ME what is deep within me

Amen, Sister!

(Hope you'll treat us to more poetry down the road, Ss!).

Kiki, thank you for the affirmation, and for sharing your reflections regarding the heart and soul of the writing process. Beautiful & inspiring!

[Sistersamm]

Thanks, Kiki, your words are encouraging to me. What is really notable about this poem is that I wrote it years ago, long before I came to any conscious awareness of "mindfulness" or Present Moment Awareness. Even before I was able to meditate or understood at all about my Inner Being. Just goes to prove to me that "I" was always present, even if my form had no awareness. I am consistently amazed at what I can learn and become aware of about myself through my own writing, especially from years past.
This gives me great hope in the rising consciousness of mankind as a whole. My dearest hope is that I can somehow assist another in their own awakening and pursuit of higher awareness. I was in a very dark place for a very long time in my own pursuit, and I would be so blessed to help another out of that place as well. Of course, I have no clue how to do such things, but I believe that since this is coming from within, it will manifest just so. With or without my own knowledge of someone else's benefit.

Peace

[kiki]

What is really notable about this poem is that I wrote it years ago, long before I came to any conscious awareness of "mindfulness" or Present Moment Awareness. Even before I was able to meditate or understood at all about my Inner Being.

I find this very interesting in light of my own experience. When I was 17 (I am now 62) I wrote a poem for my Senior English class entitled "Evolution of a Thought." The poem described how thought arose out of source (although I didn't use that word), and this was before I knew anything on a conscious level about any of this. Prior to this, however, I had been having moments of transcending thought, but I had no idea what that was or how it happened. These would occur at night as I lay in bed waiting for sleep to come; suddenly I'd find myself totally awake but no longer thinking. This was a total mystery to me, and I loved these incidents so much that I tried to recapture them. But since I didn't know how they happened I had no idea how to get them back. Of course, all of my efforts to do so only prevented any return to "there", whatever "there" was.

My dearest hope is that I can somehow assist another in their own awakening and pursuit of higher awareness.

I have no doubt that that will happen, and it will happen in a very organic way. You will assist many people without even being aware of it, I am sure.

I was in a very dark place for a very long time in my own pursuit, and I would be so blessed to help another out of that place as well. Of course, I have no clue how to do such things, but I believe that since this is coming from within, it will manifest just so. With or without my own knowledge of someone else's benefit.

Yes. For me the greatest joy is doing my best to point to "this" and then somebody finally "getting it."

[Sistersamm]

Hi Kiki,

Isn't it just wonderful how the Spirit shows itself to us in ways we don't even notice---until we DO??? I have learned a lot of things about myself in simply reading my old poetry. I haven't written much in the past few years, don't know why that muse has receded, but it is what it is. Maybe more will come, maybe I'm really past that, who knows? The beauty of life is in the surprise !
And it is so cool knowing that all we have to do is BE and those who seek will find. We can touch another life without doing anything more obvious than being who we are.

Peace to you !