I am a 57yo mother of 3, grandmother of 4, divorced, seeking that which will make my life feel "right'. I've been spiritually aware from a young age, although for most of my life, I couldn't identify it that way. Discovering my own inner intrinsic value has only come about in the past couple of years. After reading about a million self-help books, years of counseling, depression (with medication and without), the grace of awareness finally dawned on me, and I can at last see myself as a vital member of the cosmos on a spiritual level. Eckhart's two books The Power of Now, and A New Earth have both given me an increased sense of the truth of our existence. I have left behind the depression, and so, so many of the blocks that kept me from my own truth for so long.
What I'm really seeking now is that ultimate definition of Self, the depth of peace and joy that I know resides within me, but I have yet to reach on more than a fleeting basis. When I was a child, I woke up every day with the joy of life, the excitement of wonder as to what this day would bring. I want that back. I want to feel the joy of knowing that I am one with the universe. The deep gratitude and joyfulness that comes with knowing the true beauty of this world we have created together.
I don't know why I can't feel that way except within a meditation once or twice a year.???? I keep several mantras handy for times when the stress of life appears to be overwhelming. "Accept every moment as if you had chosen it" (from The Power of Now) and the words of the channeled Bashar entity "Circumstances don't matter, only State of Being matters". These phrases help me tremendously when my Ego is feeling particularly put-upon and unhappy. They help so much, but still I feel I am missing something huge here, and I don't know what.
Sorry this is so long, I've been searching for a very long time for a group I can talk to about Tolle's teachings.
I hope this is the place.

Thank you
Sistersamm